Holiday Wish

“If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.”

Actually, that was Steve Martin’s wish back in 1986. But trust me, my sentiment is the same. (See below for the entire text of his SNL Christmas wish.

I do want to wish all my friends, family, and even the occasional guest who visits here a happy and safe holiday season. May the next couple weeks be filled with good times with those you are closest to, good food, a chance to relax and enjoy your favorite beverage, and all that you wish for under the tree next Tuesday.

I know many of you will be checking out for the next week or so, but trust me, the blog will not be on hiatus. It’ll be chock-full of my regular year-end material. I’ll unveil my top 20 songs of the year next week. I’ll post my final Reader’s Notebook of the year along with a full review of my entire 2007 reading list. I’ll share how the girls do on Christmas. And I’ll see if I can find something in the sports world to mock/bitch about. I may even have some fun high school sports stories, as I’m covering a girls basketball game tomorrow night.

Be well, be safe, and happy holidays to all.

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I had two wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace . . . and the second would be for $30 million a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.

You know, if I had three wishes that I could make this holiday season, first, of course, would be for all the children to get together and sing . . . the second would be for the $30 million every month to me . . . and the third would be for all encompassing power over every living being thing in the entire universe.

And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, first would be the crap about the kids . . . second would be for the $30 million . . . the third would be for all the power . . . and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year for an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought about slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina somebody, I can’t think of her name. Of course my lovely wife could come, too. She’s behind me 100% on this, I guarantee you.

Wait a minute, maybe that sex thing should be the first wish. So, if I made that the first wish, because, you know, it could all go boom tomorrow, and then what have you got? No, no . . . the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. No, no, who am I kidding! I mean, they’re not going to be able to get all those kids together! I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible! It’s more trouble than it’s worth! So, we reorganize, here we go: first, the sex – we go with that; second, the money. No! We go with the power second, then the money, and then the kids. Oh, wait, oh geez! I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay . . . revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in Hell! That would be the fourth wish! . . . and of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of peace and harmony.