Poop

Good grief that was a garbage Super Bowl. The game sucked. The result sucked. Most of the commercials sucked. The halftime show sucked.[1] Just a garbage night all around.

It made me feel bad for being so neutral in the AFC title game. Then again, rooting hard for the Chiefs two weeks ago just would have pissed me off when they blew it then. And surely Sean Payton and Drew Brees could have handled the Patriots bullshit better than Sean McVay and Jared Goff did.

And now we have to deal with an off season of an extra heaping helping of the Patriots bullshit. “No one believed in us; everybody counted us out.”

Fuck all of you in every possible way.

Listen, I get how pro athletes have to find bizarre forms of motivation to get through the rigors of the season, the weekly poundings that football players suffer from, the mental and emotional exhaustion. But if even one person inside that organization genuinely believes that no one believed in them and everybody had counted them out, they are dumber than even Gronk appears to be.

Oh, and Julian Fucking Edelman, the poster boy for how meaningless the NFL’s PED policy is, winning the goddamn MVP with his massive, testosterone-booster fueled beard is just the cherry on top. Remember, this is a guy who was suspended for four games at the start of the season for PED use, but was then used prominently in an NFL commercial. There are columnists all over New England slobbering all over their keyboards to write peans to Edelman’s will to win, his heroic fight back who also think that Barry Bonds, Roger Clemons, and Alex Rodriguez should never get close to the baseball hall of fame.[2] I guaran-fucking-tee you Edelman and his veins that are as thick as ropes, his calves as big as large children’s heads, gets tested way less that players who are outspoken politically, like Eric Reid, despite somehow managing to slip up and get popped last summer.

Like I said, a garbage day. I’m glad football is done, although ESPN will still find a way to cram the NFL into the first 15 minutes of every Sportscenter between now and the draft.


  1. I think the females in my house enjoyed it, but they all like Maroon 5. S did predict Adam Levine would take his shirt off three songs before he did it. I bet we could have found that as a prop bet if we tried.  ↩
  2. They’ll vote for Big Papi, though.  ↩