Dolly

It’s been a little over 10 years since I admitted that I finally understood people who cried when a famous person died. Two years later the death of a much lesser known singer completely floored me. Since then? No celeb death has had more than a momentary effect on me.

As I began getting the texts from all directions Tuesday about Dolly Parton’s passing, though, something definitely moved within me.

I wasn’t a fan of Dolly’s music – I can name exactly five of her songs, and two of those because other artists covered them – but I knew of her immense talent and influence in the country music world. Watching the videos that quickly got passed around Tuesday, especially of earlier in her career, I gained new appreciation for her vocal and performing skills. But I wasn’t going to dive into her catalog the way I’ve done with other superstars who have passed.

No, what got to me was the pure Dolly-ness of Dolly. She was a truly wonderful human being who didn’t hold anyone’s difference against them. She was an advocate for so many good things in life, giving her time and money to help people less fortunate than her. Her library and literacy program has delivered books to over 120 million children around the world since she first funded it.¹ She helped support hospitals and miracle vaccines in the wake of a global pandemic. She somehow managed to speak for people at the edges of society without pissing anyone off. Or at least as far as the public knew; there were never boycotts of her music when she came out in support of this or that marginalized group. In an era when so many people want to amplify our differences to keep us angry and push us apart, Dolly wanted to bring people together to celebrate our shared humanity.

Most of all she seemed to just enjoy life, always amazed at how far she had come from where she began. She reveled in younger artists wanting to perform with her, or cover her songs. It never seemed like ego, but rather true joy in collaboration and finding connection with people who, at first glance, had little in common with her.

In the archives of this site, I know I’ve written at least once about Dolly. In that piece I did not get into how, if you were a boy in the late Seventies/early Eighties, she was the punchline of so many pre-pubescent jokes. We learned, in time, that she had plenty of substance to go with all that style. Even better, she knew exactly what the jokes were and played into/laughed along with many of them. Although, to be fair, things got pretty raw on the playground at Jackson and Norfleet Elementary schools, so I’m not sure she would have appreciated all the jokes.

I’m thankful that while I may not have learned to love all of her music, I did discover that she was a genuine angel living amongst us, a true American treasure. Our country and the entire world are a little bit worse now that she is gone.

One of many wonderful pieces that were shared yesterday was this segment from Dolly’s 1979 appearance on The Tonight Show. It is pure magic. I love how she is both relaxed and a little nervous, clacking her fingernails and jiggling her leg while bantering with Johnny Carson. Her natural charm pours off the screen. She knows she belongs on that stage, and her affection and gratitude for Johnny are sincere. And the song she busts? Amazing.

It is also quite the time capsule to a very different time. Modern talk show appearances are almost always tied to promoting something, every topic has been broached before the show to guarantee interesting interactions, and the overall feel is much tighter. Johnny had more time and longer segments than hosts today have, making this feel like a true conversation that flows naturally. You see his genius for making people feel comfortable and willing to open up in front of the studio audience and millions of viewers at home.

1. Our fuckwit of a governor cut Indiana’s matching funding to the program earlier this year. Apparently the same thing has happened in several other states. Probably because some rich, stay-at-home, non-vaccinating parent in the suburbs was offended that there was a book about a family with two dads or some other bullshit. Sorry, Dolly would never say something like that and I should follow her lead. Mike Braun is still a fuckwit, though.