Tag: holidays (Page 16 of 19)

Holiday Wish

December 20, 2007 / DB

“If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.”

Actually, that was Steve Martin’s wish back in 1986. But trust me, my sentiment is the same. (See below for the entire text of his SNL Christmas wish.

I do want to wish all my friends, family, and even the occasional guest who visits here a happy and safe holiday season. May the next couple weeks be filled with good times with those you are closest to, good food, a chance to relax and enjoy your favorite beverage, and all that you wish for under the tree next Tuesday.

I know many of you will be checking out for the next week or so, but trust me, the blog will not be on hiatus. It’ll be chock-full of my regular year-end material. I’ll unveil my top 20 songs of the year next week. I’ll post my final Reader’s Notebook of the year along with a full review of my entire 2007 reading list. I’ll share how the girls do on Christmas. And I’ll see if I can find something in the sports world to mock/bitch about. I may even have some fun high school sports stories, as I’m covering a girls basketball game tomorrow night.

Be well, be safe, and happy holidays to all.

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.
If I had two wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace . . . and the second would be for $30 million a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.
You know, if I had three wishes that I could make this holiday season, first, of course, would be for all the children to get together and sing . . . the second would be for the $30 million every month to me . . . and the third would be for all encompassing power over every living being thing in the entire universe.
And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, first would be the crap about the kids . . . second would be for the $30 million . . . the third would be for all the power . . . and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year for an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought about slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina somebody, I can’t think of her name. Of course my lovely wife could come, too. She’s behind me 100% on this, I guarantee you.
Wait a minute, maybe that sex thing should be the first wish. So, if I made that the first wish, because, you know, it could all go boom tomorrow, and then what have you got? No, no . . . the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. No, no, who am I kidding! I mean, they’re not going to be able to get all those kids together! I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible! It’s more trouble than it’s worth! So, we reorganize, here we go: first, the sex – we go with that; second, the money. No! We go with the power second, then the money, and then the kids. Oh, wait, oh geez! I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay . . . revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in Hell! That would be the fourth wish! . . . and of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of peace and harmony.

Holiday Spirits

December 20, 2007 / DB

I’m just now watching my first Christmas movie of the year (Christmas Vacation), my traditional first movie each year). Between the four movies I own and the 3-4 I’ve added to the DVR in the last month, there’s no way I’m getting through them all, for the second straight year. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me.

M.’s Christmas program last night was great. It was exactly the kind of benign train wreck a kid’s Christmas event should be. All the kids in her school, from the three year olds to kindergardeners were included. The entire school sang a few songs, and then each class had their own set of songs or speeches. The kindergardeners got to dress like Mary, Joseph, etc. and had speaking parts. M.’s class just got to sing some songs. It was HI-larious (as Ross Perot would say) to watch the kids. The three year olds were just kind of sitting, looking around, and then when their teachers told them it was time to sing “Silent Night,” for example, they would jump up and get into character. M.’s class sang a song about loving Jesus, told a “story” about what happened one night in Bethlehem, and then had a fun little calypso number about Jesus complete with dance moves. The Bethlehem story went something like this:

“One night in Bethlehem, sheep ate grass, shepherds watched, angels prayed, Mary loved, Jesus slept, and Joseph helped.”

They had little hand movements for each section, so they put their hands together to pray, mimed cradling a baby for Mary, and pretended to be hammering for Joseph. For the sheep, they acted like they were eating something especially chewy. M. had been doing that part at home for weeks, to her great amusement, and chewed a little extra long in the actual program. She knew she was being silly, because she looked at her aunt, who was recording for us, as she did her extra long chew. (I can’t find my firewire cable to get the video to the computer, so that will have to wait awhile).

The train wreck part came from having that many kids in one place. Kids were constantly wandering off, only to be herded back by their teachers. During the songs, some kids would just stand there, others would be a few beats ahead or behind where they needed to be. And one kid was especially loud. It was impossible not to laugh at them.

M. sat by a boy who may be turning into a special friend. As on the day when her aunt went in and ate lunch with her, she kept hanging out with the Japanese kid. What’s funny is the aunt who was there that day, and was videoing last night, tends to lean towards ethnic looking boys. Apparently M. is taking after her aunt. I’m pretty sure something is up, because afterwards, the kid’s dad made sure he got pictures of his son with M.. The family has only been in the States a few months, so I’m hopeful that the young man hasn’t been corrupted by our over-sexed American culture and doesn’t push things too far, too fast.

M. was very excited and proud of her performance. She got to show her grandparents her classroom and got one more Christmas hug from her teacher. And she and C. both got cookies, which they were pretty pleased about.

Someone Is Beginning To Get It

December 19, 2007 / DB

It’s fun to finally be experiencing Christmas through the eyes of a kid again. M. is old enough this year to figure out what’s going on. Tonight, her preschool has a Christmas pageant. They’ve been practicing songs for it all month, and along with those songs, since she attends a Catholic school, has come a scaled-down version of the religious aspects of the holiday. In between singing the songs she’s learned this month, she talks about the baby Jesus and all the people waiting for him. Anytime we pass a manger scene, she launches into a pretty good description of what’s going on.

Yesterday, the secular portion of the holiday finally clicked into place. It was her final day of class before the holiday break. The teachers gave all the kids bags full of candy and a few small presents (A book and a snowglobe). M. took cards and small gifts in to her teachers (Thank goodness we remembered to get something!). When I picked her up, I asked her what her teachers did when she gave them their cards. “They hugged me, Dad!” I’m sure the teachers gave each student a hug, but from the way her voice sounded, you could tell she thought the hugs she got were extra special and she was very proud that she received them.

When we got home and I was putting her down for her nap, she asked in a very excited voice, “Dad! Is Santa Claus coming?!?!” I told her she had to wait one more week. She paused a moment and then asked, “Dad! Is Santa a boy or a girl?!?!” Obviously an important thing to clarify.

She also brought home a present for us that the teachers helped her to wrap. We put it under the tree at first, but then put it out of reach so C. can’t destroy it before Christmas morning. We keep explaining to M. why we moved it (It’s on a bookshelf now, in sight but out of reach) and although she understands, she says, “I really want to put the present I made for you under the tree.”

She now knows to say “toys!” when someone asks her what she wants from Santa. But the first few times, she gave very cute and very honest answers. The first time I asked her, she said she wanted a candy cane. And she wanted him to bring something for C., too. I have a feeling next year she’ll be busting out the exact toys she wants.

If I get some good video of her at her program tonight, I’ll try to get it shared. Depends on how close I am able to sit and if I’m able to tape her without any classmates in view. Hate to put someone else’s kid online.

Not A Good Sign

December 12, 2007 / DB

We have a little manger scene that S’s mom put together from pieces she found during her travels back in the 60s. Most of the pieces are wood, so we have it sitting within reach of the girls. C. was running through the house with the baby Jesus yesterday, took a spill, and when she got up, poor baby Jesus’ arm was broken off. Santa may not be filling her stocking this year, or may be skipping our house entirely.

No, She’s Not

November 28, 2007 / DB

I knew the questions might come when I posted the picture of our Christmas tree. And since a few people have inquired, I should go ahead and end the suspense for anyone else who is wondering: No, S. is not pregnant.

Some of you have noticed that we have five stockings hung, and with only four people living in the house, it makes sense to wonder if something is in the oven. However, we have five stockings because my wife is the prototypical type A physician. Everything must be planned in advance and then the plan must be followed. When we bought our first decorations four years ago, she decided to go ahead and buy five: one for each of us and one for the three children we were planning on having. It would mess up her whole decorating scheme if we had to buy a new, unmatched, stocking each time we had a kid. And since our stocking holders, which spell Peace, require five stockings to look right, we’ve been hanging all five for each of our five Christmases in the house.

So now you know. No fetus in the womb. Yet…

‘Tis The Season?

November 6, 2007 / DB

We took advantage of M. being at preschool and C. not commanding the language well enough to share secrets to take our youngest one along with us today to Toys R Us to scout out the hottest toys for the holiday season. Place was packed. I’m not sure if it was people using their two hour window for voting to actually get a jump on Christmas shopping or maybe Tuesdays are always a busy day, but it was strange to find the place hopping at noon.

I was shocked – SHOCKED I say – that there are Star Wars Lego sets that run $99.99. I’m pretty sure I made an Imperial Star Destroyer that looked pretty sweet out of my box of random Legos 30 years ago. Sure, it wasn’t a “limited edition” but it was still pretty sweet.

Speaking over over-marketing, I know Dora and Diego are every-freaking-where but having C. with us really reinforces that. Every five seconds she was saying “Doh-wa!” “Gah-go!” “Boot!” “Bah-pah!” That’s Dora, Diego, Boots, and Backpack for you non-parents out there. You can’t walk five feet in that store without seeing something that is Dora/Diego branded. I hope the creators of the show got a nice piece of the marketing pie when they signed their contracts.

Anyway, I guess my whole point is that Christmas seems to come earlier every year. Of course, Woody Boyd would respond by saying that if I checked, <a href=”http://www.tv.com/cheers/thanksgiving-orphans/episode/14176/summary.html”>I would see it always comes on the 25th of December</a>.

Scary Night, Peaceful Night

November 1, 2007 / DB

M. was very excited for Halloween. We got the girls’ costumes about a month ago, and anytime we mentioned Halloween, M. would shout, “I’m going to be a GOOD witch!” Clarifying the good part was very important. She was literally shaking with anticipation last night, when we finally put the costume on and prepared to hit the streets. When other kids would come to the door, she would try to help give them candy, but would get a little too wound up and would just shout, “Happy Halloween! Take two pieces!” Then she would stand in the way of the door still quivering as she watched the kids walk away.
Our little fairy, C., wasn’t much more help. She stood in the doorway and stared at the kids, too. I don’t think she understood why all these kids were coming to our door and taking our candy. Each time she saw the candy bowl, she smacked her lips and said, “Mmmmmm!” We bought a scary witch that shrieks out various saying when you approach it to hang on the front door. When I leaned in to move the girls, that set the witch off, which they loved but always scared the kids who were walking away. </p><p style=”font-family:Helvetica Neue;”>Eventually we made our rounds through the neighborhood. Coolest treats were the Halloween colored Play Dough one family was handing out to all the little kids. The girls loved that. When we got home and let the girls have a Tootsie Roll pop each, it became a big game to keep them from chasing each other while they still had the suckers in their mouths. Pretty much everything in their paths got covered with sticky slobber, but they seemed to have fun.

M. got to double her fun today at pre-school. Since it is All Saints Day, the kids were supposed to dress as the saint they are named after. As far as we know, there is no Saint M., so we picked Saint Margaret since it’s kind of close and one of her aunt’s has that as a middle name. The kids were supposed to know a few things about their saint to share with the class. We’ve been practicing all week, “I’m Saint Margaret, Queen of Scotland. I feed the poor.” I was at Gymboree with C., but S. reported that M. did pretty good. She had to go first, and perhaps was intimidated by all the parents that were in the chapel. She got through the Saint Margaret and Queen of Scotland part fine. But, she left out the feeding the poor part. Her teacher asked her, “Do you feed the poor?” and M. responded, “Yeah!” “Can you say it?” “Yeah!” Oh well, they got the point. And other than a few kids who clearly practiced for a month, S. said most of the other kids were about as smooth in their efforts.
Happy Halloween and All Saints Day! And to my Mexican friends, Feliz Dia de los Muertos.

On Fireworks

July 3, 2007 / DB

I have to say, no matter what people who vote red in each election might claim, I love America. But I hate fireworks.

Big, pretty fireworks that can be seen from miles away are fine. It’s the ones that regular people decide to fire off at 10:45 in neighborhoods that I hate.

Is it wrong that I secretly hope the idiots who shoot off their fireworks long after little ones have gone to bed lose a finger or hand in the process? All I know is my blood pressure jumps way up during the weeks around July 4th when each naptime and bedtime is a race to get the girls asleep before they get scared by the explosions down the street.

I guess the argument for late fireworks is that with Daylight Savings Time, it doesn’t get completely dark until 9:30 to 10:00 in Indiana now.

My response to that is simple: drink more. As a few loyal readers of the blog can attest, I did a fine job shooting off fireworks nine years ago after I had downed massive amounts of scotch. And that, my friends, is a good story and why I’m bothering with this post. So let’s take a time machine back to 1998 and reminisce a little, shall we?

A woman who was then a good friend had just purchased a house and was very excited to host a large group for a party on July 4. There were rumors that I was going to be introduced to a coworker of hers, who several friends had confirmed was extremely attractive. We arrived early, and like good guests, brought a nice bottle of 12-year-old scotch. Feeling the nerves of the impending introduction, I decided to take the edge off and dipped right into the Glen Whatever. Since it was hot, I added ice, but as our group was in the process of discovering, water just got in the way.

The night progressed, we ate, talked, and drank more. Eventually, the young lady I thought I was going to get an introduction to arrived, although (Oh snap!) she had brought a date. Either that or she immediately started talking to another guy she had some interest in. Either way, she was thoroughly enthralled with their conversation and our introduction never took place. Feeling an urge to feel sorry for myself, I returned to the scotch bottle again.

And again.

I was bummed, but getting really happy drunk so it was a nice balance.

At some point in there, our hostess announced that she had purchased one of those big fireworks kits at Wal-Mart; you know, those shrink-wrapped assortments of about 30 different kinds of fireworks. She decided that I, the man who had about 1/2 a bottle of scotch in him already, needed to shoot them off for the neighborhood kids. Normally, I don’t want much to do with fireworks. But with a significant boost of liquid courage, and probably a pathetic belief that I might impress the girl who was still talking to the other guy, I accepted the offer and marched out into the street. For the next hour, I shot off everything in the package, with a few refills to my cup along the way. To this day, I don’t know how I didn’t either light myself on fire or blow myself, or someone else, up. had no business working with fire and small explosives, but somehow I pulled it off.

And you know what? I didn’t bitch about it not being dark yet. I lit those bitches off, the kids had a great time, and we were done by 10:00.

So kids, go get wasted and shoot your fireworks off early this July 4.

Oh, and that girl never did talk to me. But at the end of the night, the scotch bottle was empty, and as far as I remember, only one other person was drinking scotch that night.

So happy 4th.

Seventeen Days

January 11, 2007 / DB

Seventeen days. That’s how long it took M. to destroy the Play-Doh Santa brought her. What was once brilliant hues of orange, pink, purple, and yellow are now blobs of strange, pinkish-grey matter with the occasional swirl of tie-dye. She doesn’t seem to mind, but it sure drives her parents crazy.

Christmas

December 26, 2006 / DB

Happy continued holidays to all. It’s a dandy here in Indy. C. is sick, M. is teetering on the edge of a cold, I’ve got a full-blown cold, and S. is surely next. Then there are the sisters-in-law staying here, who will probably catch it before they head home. I’m going through massive amounts of kleenex and discovering the dumbed-down version of Sudafed just isn’t as good as the old, Meth-friendly kind. There were ten people in line at the pharmacy today, and I didn’t feel like waiting to get the real stuff. Good times!

Christmas was a fine day, especially for our girls. The big gift from the parents was a big dollhouse the two girls will eventually share. M. has been playing with it almost constantly and C., well, C. likes to roll up against it and slap it with her hands. We also deposited a large load of Play-Dough products on M., and she’s been enjoying that while driving us crazy as she carries it all over and we worry about it getting ground into the carpet. After early Christmas at our place, we headed to the in-laws, where our generation did our gift exchange and the girls got a few more presents. M. got a sit-and-spin, which these days play music and talk to you, along with a Leap Frog learning desk that is something she can grow into. Right now, all these gifts and a few others are spread around our living room, and when she’s awake, she goes from gift-to-gift like, well, like a kid the day after Christmas. Once things calm down a little, well disperse them through the house so that she can spend some quality time with them instead of bouncing from toy to toy. It is telling, though, that now as soon as we head to bed at night, when we talk about what she did that day, the first thing she says is “I played with toys!” She was a lot of fun, although a little hyper, on Christmas day. It was cool to see her getting into it, although full comprehension is still a couple years away from what other friends tell us. She got many talkings to at Christmas Eve Mass, when she refused to keep her voice down. But she wasn’t out-of-control by any means. C.’s reaction, obviously, was a little more muted. It’s safe to say she had no idea what was going on and thinks nothing of all the new toys she now has to play with. She was so cranky today that I don’t think it would matter if she understood or not.

Again, I hope all of you had Merry Christmases and the rest of your holidays go well.