Tag: Olympics (Page 4 of 4)

Oh Poop (Babies And Olympics)

August 24, 2004 / DB

For starters, your weekly baby poop story. M. had an epic blast Monday night. She had been backed up for about 12 hours, to the point where she was even spitting up a little bit after eating, which she’s never done before (our theory being she was too full to digest anything). We took her for a walk and joked that all the bouncing of the stroller would really loosen her up. We got home, I sat down with her in front of the TV, and sure enough, she starts unloading. It seemed like any normal baby crap at first. Then she started to seem really warm. I turned her around, and the back of her outfit was covered. I’m talking about prodigious amounts of poop. Biblical quantities of bowel movement. Extravagant volumes of excrement. So much, in fact, that we decided just to dump her into the tub for her second bath of the day rather than even attempt a wipe-only clean up. The whole time this was going on, I was thinking of a couple of my KC friends who are due with their first child later this year. Thinking of a couple KC cats being in this same situation made me laugh uncontrollably. Cheers, fellas!

We got some take out from a noodle place Monday night, and they threw in some chopsticks. I’m always excited about what is printed on the packaging of Asian foods, and these did not disappoint. Below is exactly what it said, punctuation and capitalization have not been changed.

Welcome to Chinese Restaurant
please try your Nice Chinese Food with Chopsticks
the traditional and typical of Chinese glorious history.
and cultural.

I don’t even know what the message is supposed to be there. But it made me laugh. We received an alphabet abacus as a gift for M. that was made in China. We unpacked it, started to pit it together, and then we noticed the alphabet went A-B-C-B… I wondered if the same poor laborer who was knocking back about a nickel a day was responsible for each of these items.

How about all the drama at the Olympic gymnastic meet? I’m not sure what I love more, Svetty playing the role of the ugly American, of Paul Hamm being called an ugly American for not really doing anything wrong. The ten minute whistle/boo-fest last night was surreal. Those Greeks sure are persistent! Props to Paul Hamm for nailing his routine after having to stand around and wait for the officials to take control of the situation. But his routine was the third best of the night. As my man Tim Daggett said, “Look at more the landing, please!”
My friends who attended the University of Missouri in the early 90s (specifically 1990) might argue, but I’m not sure you hold a competitor accountable for an officiating error. I think Hamm could have been a little less indignant that someone would suggest he wasn’t completely deserving of the gold medal, but it was more of a whine than steadfast opposition to the proposition. He should have just kept his mouth shut. Throughout the week, the officiating at the gymnastics venue has been wildly erratic lending support to the argument the Olympics suck because they rely on judging in so many events.
I’ve always thought the idea of taking medals away after the fact, or awarding a second medal is a little odd. Let’s say they did give the Korean gymnast a co-gold. Will that match the experience of winning it in front of 12,000 people and a TV audience? When Carl Lewis was awarded the gold medal in 1988 after Ben Johnson was disqualified, was it the same thrill as if he had actually beaten Johnson on the track? But maybe I’m getting it all wrong and the medal itself is what’s important, not the moment of actually winning it. I won a blue ribbon in the 50 yard dash in 1st grade, but don’t really recall what the sensation of winning it felt like, nor do I recall how it felt to have the blue ribbon taken away when it was discovered I had drank too much Kool Aid before the race, giving me an unfair advantage over the other competitors.

Tim Daggett Youth

August 23, 2004 / DB

This weekend I felt like I was suffering from the male counterpart to post-partum depression. I wanted to nap at all times, no matter how much sleep I got the night before. I was listless and had a total lack of motivation. Not good. Looking back, I think two things triggered it. Other than having a kid, of course. First, Saturday night I was sitting on the couch, holding a sleeping baby, while watching the late night Cheers episodes on TV Land. Sounds like good times, right? While I was sitting there, I realized how much different my life was now than whenever I first watched those episodes (Diane era). I couldn’t even drive back then! Now not only can I drive, I can buy beer, vote, I’m married, own a house, have the freedom to quit my job and do what I really want to do, plus have a kid. Scary. The second thing was the various mentions of the 1984 LA Olympics this weekend. Someone said, “That was two decades ago.” Damn. The ‘84 summer games were one of the pivotal points of my youth. The games were in stylish LA, rigged thanks to the Soviet bloc boycott so the US was guaranteed to dominate, and came at the perfect age for me to eat up all the hype, glamour, and jingoism that goes with the Olympics. 20 freaking years ago. I’m very old.

I’ve had discussions with a couple people over the past week that can’t get down with the Olympics. Arguments ranged from just not being interested in events that are no longer truly amateur, to disgust with the drug and scoring scandals, to people just being too busy to watch events that are 12 hours old. As I’ve been a slave to the TV for the past week, here are some arguments in favor of the Olympics.
1) There’s nothing like the patriotism that goes along with sporting events. It’s much more fun than patriotism that’s related to politics, war, etc. The consequences are less severe, and the rewards often greater.

2) Tim Daggett. The guy is incredible. If you don’t know who he is, he’s the 1984 gymnast who provides the male half of the commentary for gymnastics. Dude is so critical it’s actually fun to listen to. The other two announcers can praise a performer and Daggett will respond with a “Well….” Then break down in great detail how an athlete’s feet were too far apart on the landing. I bet he would make people cry if he was a coach.

3) The US-Australia rivalry in the pool. Always terrific drama, and as I said last week, it seemed much more good natured this year.

4) The Iraqi soccer team. The feel good event of the summer. The added drama of President Bush trying to hitch his wagon to their success, and much of the team publicly saying no thank you. Political intrigue!

5) Pretty much all Swedish, female athletes.

6) Seeing players who were marginal US college players light up NBA stars.

7) Michael Phelps. What the post-modern Olympics are all about. Performing at the highest level, staying humble, and thinking of team and country first. I don’t know enough about the history of swimming to place his performance, but at a minimum, he’s put himself in the argument for greatest single Olympic performance. He can do even better in Beijing and become the greatest swimmer of all time. What’s sick is he’ll only be 27 for the 2012 games. You could be looking at the greatest Olympian ever.

8) Beach volleyball. If only I had been born in Southern California. Karch Kiraly’s dry humor as analyst has made an already enjoyable sport even more fun to watch.

9) Lauryn Williams. She faded to finish second in the women’s 100 meter final, but she is a hope for the future. She lacks the look of the traditional sprinter, being short and fairly squat. But she’s got speed, and she’s got charisma. Great reaction at the end of the final Saturday. She crosses the finish line and says, “Shit!” She stops, stares at the screen, then realizes that she’s won the silver and starts celebrating. In her post-race interview, after thanking all the requisite people, and discussing her family situation (her father is under treatment for leukemia), the interviewer went through a list of all the things that had been lined up against her before the race. “Don’t forget I’m only 20! That’s the most important thing. Gotta represent for the juniors!”

10) Deena Kaster. The US runner took the Bronze in the women’s marathon by running a brilliant race, rising from 18th place all the way to third over one of the most brutal marathon courses ever devised. She blew by several far more famous runners in the final five miles as she seemed to gain strength with each stride. An incredible, inspiring performance. Sadly, the final finisher, from Mongolia, who was basically walking at the end, still beat my marathon time by an hour. Also worth noting, silver medalist Catherine Ndereba of Kenya won Chicago the year I ran it. So I can say I raced an Olympian, I suppose.

We were watching the trampoline event Friday night when S. had the comment of the games so far. “Is Slam Ball in the Olympics this year, too?” How did trampoline become an event and why did all of the men look like they were about 40? Are they kind of like the high school seniors who pick the easiest sport possible to go out for during spring semester so they can get their letter before graduation?
Another solid comment by the wife came in reference to Russian gymnast Svetlana Khorkina. First, she wondered aloud if people ever called her Svetty. Then, “What if she married someone who’s last name was Balls?” Now that E! is again showing Saturday Night Live reruns, the spirit of Alec Baldwin is clearly in the house (We caught a Baldwin-hosted episode Saturday).

And all that is just after week one. Who knows what kind of hijinx the next week will hold??? Be prepared for my essay laying out my expectations for the US team at each Olympics.

Kangaroos And Olympics

August 17, 2004 / DB

I fear we’ve spawned some kind of marsupial. M.’s latest trick is to only be able to sleep when lying on mommy, daddy, or really any warm body. We had friends over Monday night who happened to bring their three kids. All five of our visitors held M., and S. held her the rest of the time they were here. She was out the entire time. We put her down when our guests left so we could clean up, immediate tears. M. slept nearly all night, as long as S. was holding her. She slept all day today, as long as I was holding her. I think she expects one of us to have a pouch so she can crawl in. According to mom, though, we’ve got about another week of this. When M. passes the one month mark, she’s going to have to start acting like a big girl and sleep on her own, use the toilet, and clean up after herself. Well, the first one for sure, we’ll work up to the others.

The word marsupial makes me laugh. Not because it sounds funny on its own, but because for some reason I always think of Will Ferrell doing his George Bush imitation when I say it. “Marsupial. Those are them animals that carry purses, right?” Maybe it’s just me.

The US-Greece basketball game was terrific preparation for the coming college season. M. was attached firmly to my chest, snoring away (and periodically filling the drawers up). There was horrendous officiating. Poor play by my team. And I had to keep my mouth shut. I’m not sure I’ll be able to do this when it’s KU on the TV. At one point, after I passed her over to S., something annoyed me (Tim Duncan’s fifth foul probably) and I said, “Jesus!” rather forcefully but not too loud. S. claims that M. tensed up and her eyes popped wide open. Don’t know if it was the tone, the volume, or just the blasphemy, but I got her attention. How am I supposed to yell at JR Giddens to fucking guard somebody now?

The US hoops team was again bad, although not as bad as Sunday. They were unlucky, too, playing a fired up Greece team on their home court, with the officials doing everything they could to even up the game. I’ve watched enough international basketball to know the officiating uniformly sucks. More so than the usual shitty US officiating. But when there’s a clear lane violation (Greek player in the lane before Allen Iverson even puts the ball above his head) and they call a foul on Carlos Boozer for something that happens after Iverson’s free throw misses, you have to wonder if the playing field is all that even.

Memo to Richard Jefferson: stop freaking shooting.
Memo to Carmelo Anthony: cool it with the attitude. You’re lucky 119 people turned down a chance to play on this team and David Stern decided to market you and your boy LeBron overseas.
Memo to Stu Jackson: stop freaking hiding behind the fact several first and second choice NBA players are not on the roster this year. There were still plenty of opportunities to get a legitimate point guard and at least one player who can consistently hit a three pointer. You blew them all. Don’t go blaming Shaq, Kobe, T-Mac, or Jermaine O’Neal for the fact you didn’t call Michael Redd or Tayshaun Prince, and waited until far too late to ask Rip Hamilton to play. Hell, give Steve Kerr a call. I bet he can still knock down 22 footers. You suck.

Basketball déjà vu: seeing your highly talented team miss outside shot after outside shot while a bunch of ditch diggers who smoke at halftime are consistently throwing in 25 foot bombs and getting the feeling you’ve seen this before. Oh, and Roy Williams is on the bench. (I’m well aware of my selective use of blame and praise in the Larry Brown – Roy Williams relationship. It’s my blog, leave it alone.)

Terrific drama! The men’s 4×200 relay final Tuesday night featured the epic match up between the US and Australia. I accidentally saw that Michael Phelps won an individual gold during the day, but avoided all other results. Here’s a quick recap for those who missed it:
Great start!
Damn, we’re tied.
We’re ahead!
We’re tied again.
We’re ahead!
All even.
We’re pulling away!
Italy’s in second now!
Shit, Australia caught us.
Holy shit, we’re way ahead!
Good Lord, Ian Thorpe just made up the gap in 15 meters.
Tied
Tied
Tied
Tied
I think we’re ahead.
I think we’re ahead.
Dammit, here comes Thorpe.
(Wait for the superimposed flag to show who won. Wait…wait…wait…)
We won!

Great reaction shots of the US and Aussies. The Americans went ballistic; the Aussies were in utter shock that Thorpe got outreached at the wall. Thankfully, unlike four years ago in Sydney, there didn’t appear to be too much macho nonsense going on. It was just good, clean competition. It’s just too bad Michael Phelps is a failure since he won’t be winning eight gold medals. I mean, at 19 with the chance to go home with eight medals of various colors, but not all gold, I don’t see how the kid gets on the plane home next week. He should open up a bar on Crete because there’s no way he can recover from this.
(For the dense reader, or in case lack of sleep is getting in the way of my sarcasm, that’s a shot at all the idiots who will be calling Phelps a disappointment. And I find it hilarious that Phelps keeps taking his wreath off for the national anthem.)

For the record, I like Ian Thorpe a lot. Some of the other Aussies appear to be jackasses, but he seems like a respectful guy who is really weighed down by the pressure he performs under.

Random events M. and I watched today:
Equestrian (I don’t understand it; M. seemed to want a pony already)
Table tennis (How come all the US players are immigrants? Do our garage, ping-pong skills just not translate to the world stage?)
Water polo (Insane sport)
Hoops (Frustrating)
Soccer (Nap time)
Swimming (Exhilarating)
Gymnastics (I kept M. pointed away from the screen so she doesn’t already develop an eating disorder in hopes that she can compete in the 2020 games.)
I tried to play a game of my own, keeping track of horrible puns that Pat O’Brien used during his hosting slot. I lost count, though.

It’s 10:40 PM; the US women just took the silver in the gymnastics competition. I can finally check ESPNews again!

Nightmare

August 14, 2004 / DB

Puerto Rico 92 US 73
Even Basketball Genius Larry Brown may not be able to overcome this. (Roy Williams is on the bench; let’s blame him!) It’s one thing to get beat badly in a game that means nothing. It’s another thing to lay an egg like this in Olympic competition. This was a travesty of epic proportions. No defense, the complete inability to hit wide-open shots, very little heart, too much complaining. Puerto Rico was watching the US shooters from the lane because they knew we couldn’t hit a shot to save our lives from beyond the arc. The Puertoriquenos were woofing at our players not out of fear or machismo, but because they knew they were better.
It’s reached the point where I almost hope the US continues to get smacked around by everyone so we can end the Dream Team concept once and for all. If we’re going to lose, at least throw college players out there who will play with pride. Using Andy Katz’ preseason top 50, here’s a quick run down of college players that could have filled this year’s team:
Chris Paul, PG Wake Forest
Sean May, PF, North Carolina
Wayne Simien, PF, Kansas
JR Giddens, SF, Kansas
Jarrett Jack, G, Georgia Tech
Gerry McNamara, SG, Syracuse
Hakim Warrick, PF, Syracuse
Channing Frye, PF, Arizona
Hassan Adams, SF, Arizona
Deron Williams, SG, Illinois
JJ Redick, SG, Duke
Lawrence Roberts, PF, Mississippi State
Chris Thomas, PG, Notre Dame
Travis Diener, PG, Marquette
Ryan Gomes, SF, Providence
Bracey Wright, SG, Indiana (Bonus non-top 50 pick)

That’s just a quick look at “name” players. Go back to the old days when 50 college kids and a couple high schoolers were invited to camp in June. They try out for two weeks. We pick a team. They practice and play exhibition games for six weeks. I’m telling you, they’d be competitive. We’d lose our inside dominance, but Tim Duncan ain’t exactly scoring at will is he? Think Redick, McNamara, and Wright wouldn’t knock down every wide-open shot they got? Use wiry guys like Warrik out top, then beefy guys like Simien and Roberts down low and you could slice up the zones NBA players can’t seem to figure out. They might still lose games by 20, but at least it would be interesting instead of embarrassing.

Michael Phelps’ eight gold medal dream is over. The US men’s gymnastic team looked rather poor Saturday. The men’s beach volleyball teams look uninspired. Australia, a country of 19 million, looks like an athletic super power. I’m telling you, if the games go poorly, John Kerry can promise to increase funding for the US Olympic program and that might help him win a couple more battleground states. “Under George W. Bush’s watch, we went from easily winning the medal count in Sydney to struggling to remain competitive in sports we’ve long dominated.” It just might work. You read it here first!

Where Were You?

February 5, 2004 / DB

It’s fair to say I feel ambivalent about Miracle. The previews are certainly exciting and interesting (and the early reviews are glowing) but in many ways, this seems like one of those moments that should be left alone. I remember a thoroughly horrible TV movie shortly after the fact. Maybe as a member of the generation that has ownership of this moment (at least the childhood perspective of it) I’m worried that a movie will replace the actual moment and people’s memories will be of the cinema and not where they were that Friday night in 1980. But if you watched, can those memories ever really be replaced or augmented by a movie a quarter century later?

Each time ESPN Classic replays the original game, I’m taken back to our living room in Jackson, MO. I remember sitting there alone (that had to be one of the first times my mom ever let me stay home along) watching on my chair literally inches from our 13″ TV. I had my massive National Geographic atlas on the floor by me, so I could see where the USSR was (as I had done with Czechoslovakia and Sweden earlier in the tournament). And I totally remember completely wigging out when the clock counted down. I don’t care what your sport and team affiliations are: if you’re between 30 and 40 and you saw that game that night, there’s been no bigger sporting event in your life. Sorry, it’s not even close.