{"id":7005,"date":"2018-06-20T09:27:27","date_gmt":"2018-06-20T13:27:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dsnotebook.me\/?p=7005"},"modified":"2024-08-30T19:24:07","modified_gmt":"2024-08-30T23:24:07","slug":"coming-back-for-evan-more-of-exactly-the-same-10-years-of-the-midnight-organ-fight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dsnotebook.me\/index.php\/2018\/06\/20\/coming-back-for-evan-more-of-exactly-the-same-10-years-of-the-midnight-organ-fight\/","title":{"rendered":"“Coming Back For Evan More of Exactly the Same” – 10 Years of The Midnight Organ Fight"},"content":{"rendered":"

\n\u201cGood arms vs. bad arms will win hands down, down\u2026\u201d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ten years ago today I was going through my normal morning routine of scrolling through my RSS Reader\u2019s new article queue while the girls watched Disney shows when I came across a blog post that changed my life.<\/p>\n

The I Am Fuel, You Are Friends<\/a> blog, which was one of my favorite music blogs at the time, published an interview with the lead singer of a young band from Scotland<\/a>[1]<\/a>. The blog\u2019s author, Heather Browne, was effusive in her praise of the band and its songs. I went out exploring on The Hype Machine<\/a>[2]<\/a>, found a few of the band\u2019s tracks, downloaded them, and listened. The first song was a mournful, country-tinged track about a breakup. It was really good. The next song was another sad song about a breakup. It was also really good. I immediately used the iTunes gift card S had just given me for my birthday to buy their album.<\/p>\n

The band was Frightened Rabbit, the album was The Midnight Organ Fight<\/em>, and the first song of theirs I ever heard, on June 20, 2008, was \u201cGood Arms vs. Bad Arms.\u201d<\/p>\n

That summer of \u201908 I listened to TMOF<\/em> endlessly. I remember one day I was walking around, moping, feeling sad, snapping at people for no reason. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Then I realized I had listened to the album several times in a row the previous night. That may have been too much, as Scott Hutchison\u2019s tales of romantic failure had apparently pulled me into a funk.<\/p>\n

I set the album aside for a bit. I couldn\u2019t stay away for long, though.<\/p>\n

At first the big tracks were the ones that grabbed me. \u201cThe Modern Leper\u201d joined \u201cGood Arms\u201d as songs I could not hear enough in those early days. The duo of \u201cMy Backwards Walk\u201d and \u201cKeep Yourself Warm\u201d are, quite simply, motherfuckers. By fall, just before L\u2019s birth, I was addicted to \u201cHead Rolls Off,\u201d and Hutchison\u2019s promise to \u201cmake tiny changes to earth.\u201d I knew if I had done, and would do, nothing else in life, by having three daughters I had made tiny changes of my own.<\/p>\n

But the album was about more than just those songs on their own. It was about the sequence in which they were presented and the combined impression they left on the listener. It was about Hutchison\u2019s painful, at times cringe-worthy, accountings of all the worst emotions that come with a breakup. It was the push to the furthest extremes of pain, then drawing back for little, brilliant moments of relief. He\u2019s mad at himself. Then he\u2019s mad at her. Then he\u2019s mad at the new man she\u2019s with. Then he rages at himself for believing a one-night stand would magically make all the pain go away.[3]<\/a> He begs. He threatens. He\u2019s pathetic. He\u2019s insufferable. He\u2019s cruel. But, in the end, he stares all that pain dead in the eye, finds glimmers of hope, and decides to move on.<\/p>\n

The Midnight Organ Fight<\/em> may well be my favorite album ever. I still listen to it often, certainly more than I do to London Calling<\/em>, OK Computer,<\/em> or other albums that filled my most recent top 10 list. As much as I love all of FR\u2019s music, I always come back to the album I discovered them on.<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s tough to consider it ten years after I first heard it. I was leaning toward slotting it in as my #1 album whenever I re-do my Favorite Albums list before the events of May. Now, with Scott gone, I don\u2019t know if I can make an honest, dispassionate assessment of the album. I simply can not listed to \u201cFloating in the Forth\u201d right now, knowing he was predicting the exact location of his suicide 10 years in advance.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a bit too much right now.<\/p>\n

\n

Scott\u2019s death doesn\u2019t change that the album is an absolutely brilliant piece of art. It changed my life, at least in that I\u2019ve listened to it countless times over the past decade. It has given me, as some folks might say, all the feels over that time. Right now I can\u2019t make it all the way through. I hope that sometime, in the not too distant future, I\u2019ll be able to focus on to that big, bold moment of hope at the end of \u201cFloating in the Firth\u201d again and forget about how real the sentiment behind it was.<\/p>\n

Scott Hutchison was a fucking brilliant song writer. Every song is loaded with turns of phrase and observations that are mind blowing. Here are some of my favorites from TMOF<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell I am ill, but I’m not dead
\nAnd I don’t know which of those I prefer
\nBecause that limb which I have lost
\nWell it was the only thing holding me up, holding me up\u201d
\n– \u201cThe Modern Leper\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll stow away my greys
\nIn a padlocked case and in a padlocked room
\nOnly to be released when I see you walking around with someone new
\nThis is the last song, this is the last song
\nThis is the last song I’ll write about you\u201d
\n– \u201cI Feel Better\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am armed with the past, and the will, and a brick
\nI might not want you back, but I want to kill him\u201d
\n– \u201cGood Arms vs. Bad Arms\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI’ll turn off the TV
\nIt’s killing us we never speak
\nThere’s a radio in the corner
\nIt’s dying to make us see\u201d
\n– \u201cOld, Old Fashioned\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI’m working on erasing you
\nJust don’t have the proper tools
\nI get hammered, forget that you exist
\nThere’s no way I’m forgetting this\u201d
\n– \u201cMy Backwards Walk\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you see in the dark?
\nCan you see the look on your face?
\nThe flashing white light’s been turned off
\nYou don’t know know who’s in your bed\u201d
\n– \u201cKeep Yourself Warm\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should look through some old photos
\nI adored you in every one of those
\nIf someone took a picture of us now they’d need to be told
\nThat we had ever clung and tied
\nA navy knot with arms at night
\nI’d say she was his sister but she doesn’t have his nose
\nAnd now we’re unrelated and rid of all the shit we hated
\nBut I hate when I feel like this
\nAnd I never hated you\u201d
\n– \u201cPoke\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFully clothed, I’ll float away
\n(I’ll float away)
\nDown the Forth, into the sea
\nI’ll steer myself
\nThrough chopping waves
\nAs manic gulls
\nScream “it’s okay”
\nTake your life
\nGive it a shake
\nGather up
\nAll your loose change
\nI think I’ll save suicide for another year\u201d
\n– \u201cFloating in the Forth\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
\n
    \n
  1. \nOne of my rather rare Internet comments is on that post.  ↩<\/a>\n<\/li>\n
  2. \nMan, that was a wonderful thing back in the day, too.  ↩<\/a>\n<\/li>\n
  3. \n\u201cIt takes more than fucking someone to keep yourself warm\u2026\u201d  ↩<\/a>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \u201cGood arms vs. bad arms will win hands down, down\u2026\u201d Ten years ago today I was going through my normal morning routine of scrolling through my RSS Reader\u2019s new article queue while the girls watched Disney shows when I came across a blog post that changed my life. The I Am Fuel, You Are Friends blog, which was one of my favorite music blogs at the time, published an interview with the lead singer of a young band from Scotland[1]. The blog\u2019s author, Heather Browne, was effusive in her praise of the band and its songs. I went out exploring on The Hype Machine[2], found a few of the band\u2019s tracks, downloaded them, and listened. The first song was a mournful, country-tinged track about a breakup. It was really good. The next song was another sad song about a breakup. It was also really good. I immediately used the iTunes gift card S had just given me for my birthday to buy their album. The band was Frightened Rabbit, the album was The Midnight Organ Fight, and the first song of theirs I ever heard, on June 20, 2008, was \u201cGood Arms vs. Bad Arms.\u201d That summer of \u201908 I listened to TMOF endlessly. I remember one day I was walking around, moping, feeling sad, snapping at people for no reason. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Then I realized I had listened to the album several times in a row the previous night. That may have been too much, as Scott Hutchison\u2019s tales of romantic failure had apparently pulled me into a funk. I set the album aside for a bit. I couldn\u2019t stay away for long, though. At first the big tracks were the ones that grabbed me. \u201cThe Modern Leper\u201d joined \u201cGood Arms\u201d as songs I could not hear enough in those early days. The duo of \u201cMy Backwards Walk\u201d and \u201cKeep Yourself Warm\u201d are, quite simply, motherfuckers. By fall, just before L\u2019s birth, I was addicted to \u201cHead Rolls Off,\u201d and Hutchison\u2019s promise to \u201cmake tiny changes to earth.\u201d I knew if I had done, and would do, nothing else in life, by having three daughters I had made tiny changes of my own. But the album was about more than just those songs on their own. It was about the sequence in which they were presented and the combined impression they left on the listener. It was about Hutchison\u2019s painful, at times cringe-worthy, accountings of all the worst emotions that come with a breakup. It was the push to the furthest extremes of pain, then drawing back for little, brilliant moments of relief. He\u2019s mad at himself. Then he\u2019s mad at her. Then he\u2019s mad at the new man she\u2019s with. Then he rages at himself for believing a one-night stand would magically make all the pain go away.[3] He begs. He threatens. He\u2019s pathetic. He\u2019s insufferable. He\u2019s cruel. But, in the end, he stares all that pain dead in the eye, finds glimmers of hope, and decides to move on. The Midnight Organ Fight may well be my favorite album ever. I still listen to it often, certainly more than I do to London Calling, OK Computer, or other albums that filled my most recent top 10 list. As much as I love all of FR\u2019s music, I always come back to the album I discovered them on. But it\u2019s tough to consider it ten years after I first heard it. I was leaning toward slotting it in as my #1 album whenever I re-do my Favorite Albums list before the events of May. Now, with Scott gone, I don\u2019t know if I can make an honest, dispassionate assessment of the album. I simply can not listed to \u201cFloating in the Forth\u201d right now, knowing he was predicting the exact location of his suicide 10 years in advance. It\u2019s a bit too much right now. Scott\u2019s death doesn\u2019t change that the album is an absolutely brilliant piece of art. It changed my life, at least in that I\u2019ve listened to it countless times over the past decade. It has given me, as some folks might say, all the feels over that time. Right now I can\u2019t make it all the way through. I hope that sometime, in the not too distant future, I\u2019ll be able to focus on to that big, bold moment of hope at the end of \u201cFloating in the Firth\u201d again and forget about how real the sentiment behind it was. Scott Hutchison was a fucking brilliant song writer. Every song is loaded with turns of phrase and observations that are mind blowing. Here are some of my favorites from TMOF. \u201cWell I am ill, but I’m not dead And I don’t know which of those I prefer Because that limb which I have lost Well it was the only thing holding me up, holding me up\u201d – \u201cThe Modern Leper\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll stow away my greys In a padlocked case and in a padlocked room Only to be released when I see you walking around with someone new This is the last song, this is the last song This is the last song I’ll write about you\u201d – \u201cI Feel Better\u201d \u201cI am armed with the past, and the will, and a brick I might not want you back, but I want to kill him\u201d – \u201cGood Arms vs. Bad Arms\u201d \u201cI’ll turn off the TV It’s killing us we never speak There’s a radio in the corner It’s dying to make us see\u201d – \u201cOld, Old Fashioned\u201d \u201cI’m working on erasing you Just don’t have the proper tools I get hammered, forget that you exist There’s no way I’m forgetting this\u201d – \u201cMy Backwards Walk\u201d \u201cCan you see in the dark? Can you see the look on your face? The flashing white light’s been turned off You don’t know know who’s in your bed\u201d – \u201cKeep Yourself Warm\u201d \u201cYou should look through some old photos I adored you in every one of those If someone took a picture of us now they’d need to be told That we had ever clung and tied A navy knot with arms at night I’d say she was his sister but she doesn’t have his nose And now we’re unrelated and rid of all the shit we hated But I hate when I feel like this And I never hated you\u201d – \u201cPoke\u201d \u201cFully clothed, I’ll float away (I’ll float away) Down the Forth, into the sea I’ll steer myself Through chopping waves As manic gulls Scream “it’s okay” Take your life Give it a shake Gather up All your loose change I think I’ll save suicide for another year\u201d – \u201cFloating in the Forth\u201d One of my rather rare Internet comments is on that post.  ↩ Man, that was a wonderful thing back in the day, too.  ↩ \u201cIt takes more than fucking someone to keep yourself warm\u2026\u201d  ↩<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[9],"class_list":["post-7005","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-music"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dsnotebook.me\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7005","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dsnotebook.me\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dsnotebook.me\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dsnotebook.me\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dsnotebook.me\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7005"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dsnotebook.me\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7005\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13391,"href":"https:\/\/dsnotebook.me\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7005\/revisions\/13391"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dsnotebook.me\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7005"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dsnotebook.me\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7005"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dsnotebook.me\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7005"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}