That’s what is happening all over the Middle East this morning. Why? Because the terrorists have won again. Yes, Indiana’s 7th congressional district elected a Muslim – a MUSLIM! – to represent them in the US House of Representatives for the next ten months. It’s a well documented fact that every single Muslim in the world has the exact same world and political view (Muslims never, ever fight each other), so surely this means our enemies are taking over our government. Al Queda had extended its tentacles to just a few miles from my home. I woke up at 3 AM today and wondered who is looking out for me, who is answering the phone now that this travesty has occurred? Surely terrorists are pouring into the Indianapolis airport this morning so they can set up shop all over Marion county. If Barack is elected….well…we can kiss our American asses goodbye. Because he’s a Muslim, too. And his middle name is Hussein. HUSSEIN! *

(For those who don’t know me, this post is loaded with sarcasm. Think of Stephen Colbert, only less funny.)