Month: August 2023 (Page 1 of 2)

Chart Week: August 29, 1981
Song: “For Your Eyes Only” – Sheena Easton
Chart Position: #29, 6th week on the chart. Peaked at #4 for for weeks in October and November.

I’ve heard a glut of 1981 countdowns recently. To be honest, it’s a little much. The quirkiness of that era grates rather quickly upon repeated exposure.

However, I did learn something new and amazing in the process.

On a countdown from earlier in the summer of ’81, a bonus track outside the Top 40 added to the new recording was Sheena Easton’s “For Your Eyes Only.” I didn’t like that song much as a kid; I have no love for it as an adult. I believe I was cooking dinner while listening and focused on my work rather than the music.

When it ended the announcer mentioned that it was, of course, the theme to the James Bond picture of the same name. He also stated that Blondie had recorded a song for the movie with the exact same title.

Wait, WHAT?!?! Blondie recorded something for a 007 flick? How had I never heard that before?

After dinner I raced to the computer and started searching. Turns out, the story was true. The production team behind the twelfth Bond film indeed requested that Blondie perform the title song. They wanted the band to record a piece written by Bill Conti, who composed the picture’s score. I bet you’ll recognize another of his themes.

Blondie thought this was a terrible idea. They wanted to write their own music. So they did. They submitted their recording, but it was promptly rejected. The film’s producers pivoted to the rising Scottish artist Sheena Easton, asking her to interpret Conti’s original effort. The rest is history.

Easton’s track peaked at #4 in the US, #8 in the UK, and was nominated for an Academy Award. The producers liked Easton so much that she became the first, and still only artist to appear performing during the movie’s title sequence. Star Roger Moore said she was sexier than any of the Bond Girls in the film.

Blondie put their version of “For Your Eyes Only” on their 1982 album The Hunter, but never released it as a single. The album received some of the worst reviews of their career, it didn’t sell well, and soon the band split up.

Blondie’s record is interesting. You can hear them trying to connect with the vibe of James Bond, especially in the guitars. And I can 100% envision it as the music played under the title sequence. I sense some common threads to a few of the modern Bond themes that are perfectly fine, but basically serve as background music to the visual playgrounds those scenes have become.

However, it also feels flat, lacking the energy and sex appeal of Blondie’s biggest hits. Their idea of cool didn’t really match Bond’s. It doesn’t sound like a hit to me, even if it had made the soundtrack. Let’s call it a 5 and guess it peaks in the 20’s on AT40 had it been the official theme.

Sheena Easton’s tune, on the other hand, kind of sucks. It’s not her fault. While the film was going for a grittier tone to replace the campy direction the franchise took in the 1970s, this ballad is pure, old people pop. It is overly big and dramatic, and often veers into Cheeseland. I’m not sure why they thought a 22-year-old woman was the right person to sing about a 54-year-old spy. Easton has a nice voice, but it’s not big enough to match what this song asks for. You can hear her straining on its grandest moments. It needed some semi-washed up star of the late Sixties who could belt out those big notes. I can’t imagine Deborah Harry singing it, either. It could not be farther away from what she stood for, or what her voice was capable of.

Conti said he had two other singers in mind when he wrote the piece: Donna Summer and Dusty Springfield. Summer would have been an interesting choice. She certainly had the voice, but I’m not sure she was a good match for the vibe either. Especially since she was still considered the Queen of Disco in 1981. But Dusty Springfield? Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! It would have been a perfect, late-career revival for her. Alas…

The Conti/Sheena track gets a 2.

Most of my research for this post came from a single article, written in 2020. I had to laugh when the writer suggested “For Your Eyes Only” was the highlight of Easton’s career. Keep in mind she hit #1 in the US with “Morning Train (Nine to Five).” And, as my two brothers-in-music John N and Ed L immediately noted, had this guy not heard of “Strut” or “Sugar Walls”?

A highlight? Sure. But THE highlight? I don’t think so.

I talk a lot about how the summer of 1984 was the greatest moment in pop music history, normally backing that up with examples of some of the songs that were on the chart that summer.

As I was listening to a 1984 countdown a couple weeks ago, it struck me again how freaking solid those 40 songs were. There were a few duds, as there are in any countdown. But there were also a ton of timeless tracks that still get heavy airplay on Eighties stations today.

So why not go through a countdown from that summer to see just how loaded it was?

All my music ratings are highly subjective. In this case, I’m taking it to a whole new level of stupidity, rating each song on a highly arbitrary scale that factors in my like/dislike, how big of a hit it was at the time, if it is viewed as that act’s biggest hit, and then if it had a lasting cultural impact. I can’t say that I’ll weigh each of these factors equally from song to song. I’ll rank them on a scale from one-to-five, five being The Unforgettables.

I’m not sure if my ratings would hold up if given any serious, scientific scrutiny. We’re here to have fun, so don’t overthink them.

Here is the chart for the week ending August 11, 1984. That week I would have been in the midst of my month-long visit to my grandparents’ homes in central Kansas, listening on my Pioneer boom box.

(I’ve copied/pasted these straight from the terrific Top40weekly.com site and kept their formatting because I don’t want to fix it all.)

1 – GHOSTBUSTERS –•– Ray Parker, Jr. Biggest song of his career, theme for one of the biggest movies of the decade. Kitchy and silly, but it still gets played, both ironically and un-ironically. 5

2 – WHEN DOVES CRY –•– Prince Biggest song of the year from the biggest artist of the year. 5

3 – STATE OF SHOCK –•– The Jacksons with Mick Jagger When you think of Michael Jackson, The Jacksons, or Mick Jagger, this will not be very high on the list. All three of them had better songs in 1984. The ending is very cringey. 2

4 – WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT –•– Tina Turner The song that kicked off the greatest comeback in music history, and the most iconic song of an iconic career. 5

5 – SAD SONGS (Say So Much) –•– Elton John Maybe his best song of the 80s? Top three for sure. 3

6 – STUCK ON YOU –•– Lionel Richie The weakest of his big hits from 1983–84. 2

7 – DANCING IN THE DARK –•– Bruce Springsteen The song that made Bruce BRUCE to the masses. 5

8 – I CAN DREAM ABOUT YOU –•– Dan Hartman I love this song. But I doubt that’s the case for most people. I’m sadly calling it a 3 since I might be the only person in the world who still gets excited when I hear it.

9 – INFATUATION –•– Rod Stewart I bet the video had whatever supermodel he was dating at the time in it. It sure sounds slight and of its time now. Pretty low on his career best list, too. 2

10 – SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT –•– Corey Hart One of these days I’ll write about Corey Hart, who had a better and longer career than most people realize. This is THE song from his career, though. It is a must on any 80s compilation. 5

11 – BREAKIN’… THERE’S NO STOPPING US –•– Ollie & Jerry As with Dan Hartman above, a song I love but was never sticky in the culture. Another sad 3.

12 – MISSING YOU –•– John Waite This is a great song and the biggest of Waite’s solo career. Not quite iconic, but pretty freaking good. 4

13 – IF EVER YOU’RE IN MY ARMS AGAIN –•– Peabo Bryson Mid–80s, lite R&B schmaltz. 1

14 – LEGS –•– ZZ Top When a good video on MTV could make even bearded good ol’ boys from Texas into pop stars. 4

15 – PANAMA –•– Van Halen “Jump” was the bigger hit, but this was the better song. Arguably the band’s peak. 4

16 – EYES WITHOUT A FACE –•– Billy Idol Great track, but “Rebel Yell” or “White Wedding” are what you think of first when you think of Billy. 4

17 – ROUND AND ROUND –•– Ratt Arguably the song that ushered in the glam metal sound that was huge in the back half of the ‘80s. The video that was very popular with dickheads like me. 4

18 – JUMP (For My Love) –•– The Pointer Sisters Nice song, but I bet you think of “Neutron Dance” or “I’m So Excited” way before this. 3

19 – IF THIS IS IT –•– Huey Lewis & The News Did you know they had three-straight singles that peaked at #6 in 1984? Did they make a deal with the devil?!?! Fortunately they had a much bigger hit a year later that keeps us from having to decide which of those ’84 tracks was their finest overall. 4

20 – SHE BOP –•– Cyndi Lauper Good enough song, but her third-best track of 1984. 3

21 – SHE’S MINE –•– Steve Perry I was really into Perry’s first solo album back then. Can’t say the songs beyond “Oh Sherrie” hold up. 2

22 – ROCK ME TONITE –•– Billy Squier As it gave us one of the worst, most cringey videos of all time, it has a special place in history and gets an extra bump. 4

23 – LIGHTS OUT –•– Peter Wolf The first solo hit by the J Geil’s Band’s lead singer. Not super memorable. 2

24 – SEXY GIRL –•– Glenn Frey Yuck. 1

25 – THE WARRIOR –•– Scandal Featuring One of the great one-hit-wonders of the decade. Great song, great video. 5

26 – I’M FREE (Heaven Helps The Man) –•– Kenny Loggins I shared not too long ago that this was the best track on the Footloose soundtrack. Our third 3 that makes me sad.

27 – THE GLAMOROUS LIFE –•– Sheila E. Checks every box you need to check to earn a 5, including being written by Prince.

28 – SELF CONTROL –•– Laura Branigan Sorry, if it ain’t “Gloria” no one is going to remember it. 2

29 – ALIBIS –•– Sergio Mendes White dude yowling pop (Joe Pizzulo sang the lead). 2

30 – ALL OF YOU –•– Julio Iglesias & Diana Ross Oof. 1

31 – LEAVE A TENDER MOMENT ALONE –•– Billy Joel Billy cranked out a lot of hits from his An Innocent Man album. The fact this was the only one not to reach the Top 20 is telling. 2

32 TURN TO YOU –•– The Go-Go’s Pales in comparison to their classic hits. 3

33 DYNAMITE –•– Jermaine Jackson I have a big, soft spot in my heart for this song, mostly because of its goofy ass video. 3

34 DRIVE –•– The Cars What Cars song you think of first is very dependent on your age. Not one of my personal favorites so 3 to me, 4 to the world.

35 LET’S GO CRAZY –•– Prince & The Revolution Prince was so not fucking around in 1984. 5

36 WHEN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES –•– Night Ranger My personal favorite Night Ranger song. But, come on, mention their name and there’s another song from 1984 that EVERYONE thinks of first. 4 to me, 3 to the world.

37 CRUEL SUMMER –•– Bananarama I really struggled with this one. I can’t decide whether it is a classic of the decade, or just another fun song tied to a very popular movie. I’ll split the difference and call it a 4 but open to arguments that it is either a 3 or 5.

38 ALMOST PARADISE –•– Mike Reno & Ann Wilson I have some good friends that love this song. I think it’s trash. But it was from Footloose and a lot of people probably slow-danced to it with people that were very important to them, so I’ll give it a 2.

39 MY, OH MY –•– Slade Zero memory. Zero cultural relevance. 1

40 RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE –•– Eurythmics The Eurythmics were a great band and I don’t think they ever made a bad song. But even Mr. Big Music Brain me forgot about this one. 2 because I bet no one else remembers it either.