Tag: Indianapolis (Page 2 of 4)

Covid Chronicles, 4/2

April 2, 2020 / DB

The latest in America’s favorite new blog series!

Last night I had my first Zoom meeting with friends. Most of those buddies check in here on the blog occasionally – Nez, E$, Sir Dave, The Piddler – and we’ve been texting often. But it was still great to see their faces, have a conversation, and make a human connection.

Yesterday the Indianapolis mayor extended our city’s shelter in place order through May 1. Not a surprise, and I continue to be fine with moving these dates back slowly rather than going ahead and saying “OK, everything is shut down until June 1/July1/2023 or whatever.”

What was upsetting was that as a part of his order he decided to shut down golf courses. I had not gone out to play golf, mostly because I don’t feel comfortable leaving the girls home alone right now if S has to go to the hospital, and I don’t want to drive 20–30 minutes to get to a course when you’re not supposed to be out of the house. However, I had hoped if the weather dried up a bit I could run up to the pitch and putt course that is five minutes away next week. As many folks have pointed out, on a golf course you’re in a wide open space and even if you have playing partners you can create plenty of distance between others. Meanwhile on the walking trails you are constantly getting within six feet of others.

I get how this is purely about optics and it is pretty low on the list of things to worry about. I guess I’ll have to continue to be content to hit balls in the basement and practice balls in the front yard once it stops raining.

Speaking of indoor golf, I did order myself a practice putting mat a few weeks back. I got a model recommended by a brother-in-law and have been spending about 30 minutes each day on it. Hopefully it makes a difference if I can ever play “real” golf again.

This morning S got a call from the St P’s gym teacher. He is a great guy and we had heard he was checking in on other families. He spoke with her for several minutes just to make sure we were all doing ok and that the girls were getting outside. He doesn’t know us very well – thus the call to S rather than me – and when he asked how we were doing she mentioned that I was the at-home parent and she was a physician and has been in the hospital a few days. That elicited a whole series of questions on her opinion of where we are at and how long this will last. I’m sure that info will get passed along the line.

In global news, it is hard not to get bogged down in numbers. There are the numbers of infected/dead across countries and states. Models for what may happen and when they think it will happen. Numbers of unemployed, dollars for recovery efforts, etc. Just so many numbers, and numbers that change depending on what source you look at.

A detail about numbers I learned Tuesday that amazed me was how the daily reports we get are skewered. The Indiana state health commissioner noted that when they say X deaths were reported on day Y, that doesn’t mean X people actually died that day. Some may have died days ago but their positive test results just came back. I never thought of that, and it suggests that as testing gets better/faster that could shoot the numbers up even higher as the accounting of bodies catches up.

Then this morning I read an article that dove into the number of dead in Italy and Spain. It looked at the historic numbers of people who died in a specific area over a specific time frame, compared that to how many dead were reported over that span this year, then looked at how many of those deaths were officially related to Covid–19.

In one region in Spain the historic number was 500, the 2020 number was 835, but the Covid number was only 121. That means there were an “extra” 214 deaths. Some of those, the study said, were marked down as having general causes of death like pneumonia that could be Civid-related but did not have a positive test. Others simply weren’t tested.

If you figure this will be the case across the globe, the final, true death toll will be much higher than the numbers we are getting now. Yeesh, more good news.

I think I’ve said this before but each day is a constant blend of fascination and terror. There’s the fascination of this totally unique world event. As a history buff of holder of a political science degree, both the daily developments and their long-term ramifications are completely engrossing.

But there’s always that terror to balance. Most studies continue to show that a huge majority of people who get seriously ill from the coronavirus have underlying health issues. One study I saw showed over 80% of Civid-positive people who required hospitalization had a chronic issue like diabetes, heart disease, etc. And for the sickest people, those who require admission to the ICU, the number was even higher.

Yet everyday you hear stories of people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s who were otherwise healthy and suddenly got sick and deteriorated rapidly. My first thought is wondering how many of these people had some undiagnosed illness that had already chipped away at their immune systems and prevented their bodies from fighting off the virus. But even then, that leaves a section of people who were indeed relatively healthy and succumbed quickly.

That’s the stuff that scares the crap out of me. I’m being careful in my travels outside of the house. When we take a walk or see the neighbors at the mailbox I am careful to keep a distance from others. I wash my hands often. What if there is already some bomb ticking inside of me, though, that I wouldn’t otherwise have discovered for years that has knocked my immune system down just enough that, should I get infected, makes fighting it troublesome?

This is a minor worry compared to that for S, though. She’s having to go into hospitals and medical offices several days a week. She’s seeing patients occasionally. While in most cases she is isolated from people who have tested positive, by being out of the home and in an environment where sick people pass through, her risk factor is much higher.

The odds are very low that either of us will get sick, and then that either of us will get seriously ill. But those odds are still greater than zero, and the more stories you hear about people here in the US dying, the more you think about the worst cases and all the implications that come with that.

Hey, happy Thursday!

Covid Chronicles, 3/30

March 30, 2020 / DB

Happy spring break, everyone! So excited to leave dreary, cold Indiana behind for a week in sunny, warm…

Well shit. We weren’t even supposed to go someplace warm, but it is still crappy to remain stuck at home rather than on day two of skiing in Colorado. Who knows, maybe staying home means one of us didn’t break a leg or blow out an ACL on the slopes. Regardless of what is going on here, we are glad the resorts shut down as the Keystone-Vail corridor is apparently a hotspot thanks to at least one person who traveled from Italy to that area in early March.

The past week has been very boring. The stress and excitement of the first week of being stuck at home wore off. The girls got into a routine, but that routine was not ideal. If she didn’t have an early class meeting, M was sleeping until 10 or so before she woke to get started on her assignments for the day. She was generally busy all day, each day. C and L again got most of their work done early in the week and spent the rest of the week on screens large and small. L got outside quite a bit, as the weather was decent most of the week. We played a lot of HORSE and took a few bike rides.

I did have to re-teach myself some fifth grade math – dividing fractions – as L got a little stuck and her online resources weren’t clear in what she was supposed to be doing. I had to break down and call a friend who used to be a math teacher to make sure I was on the right track. Math is my biggest worry for the two younger girls. I hate for them to get behind or I teach them something wrong and it affects how they perform in the future. I imagine teachers all over the country are trying to figure out how to avoid this, and lesson plans next fall will be adjusted to make sure kids aren’t too far behind.

We’ve been pretty hands off with their eLearning, though. We let them know we are available to help, remind them to check in with their teachers if they run into issues, and make sure assignments are being completed. They all seem to be getting everything turned in and getting full credit, so we will continue to let them operate independently when they jump back in next week.

Last Wednesday was an absolutely glorious day. It was in the upper 60s, the skies were clear, the winds were calm. Our street was a constant stream of dog walkers, runners, and bikers. We adjusted our meal plan for the week to throw some burgers on the grill, as it was the perfect grilling day. While we were outside we could smell other people’s grills and hear folks playing music outside. In the evening there were fireworks scattered about. It was an impromptu celebration of the beautiful weather and an opportunity it get outside after just over a week of most of the world staying inside.[1]

In these strange times people are doing strange things. For example, over the weekend the Indy radio station that plays Christmas music between Thanksgiving and Christmas pulled out all those tunes from Friday evening through last night. Even I, the “Christmas Music Must Only Be Played During the Holidays” zealot tuned in for a bit. I felt weird doing it, not because it was out of season, but because I didn’t know how it made me feel. Was this a momentary adjustment to bring some joy to a grim time? Or was it a sign that the end of the world was nigh and we might as well enjoy things we may never get a chance to enjoy again?

It felt especially weird to listen to the station Saturday. We had the windows open to enjoy the near–80 degree weather, there were thunderstorm watches and warnings, and late in the evening we had a torrential downpour that flooded our yard. It didn’t exactly look a lot like Christmas.

I made a grocery run early Sunday. It was designed to be a small, quick trip so I went to the grocery store around the corner. I had been there two weeks earlier and found it was very much picked over. Things seem to have stabilized, though, as I was able to get just about everything on my list plus a number of additions I made on the fly.

It is a sign of the times that you leave a grocery store with an immense feeling of relief if you get 90% of what you needed.

Normally we run our pantry and fridge/freezer pretty tight. I will shop early each week and plan on 3–4 dinner ideas, knowing we’ll squeeze in a leftover night, likely a dinner out, maybe a “cereal for dinner” night, and then figure out a plan for the weekend when Friday rolls around.

Now I keep a very detailed list of how many dinner options we have. Where we are normally good for a few nights, and I often have to run out to grab a few things multiple times during the week, I currently have us set up to get through at least a week, likely closer to two. Our freezer is jam-packed and I’m making plans to have some electrical work done to add a freezer to the basement once this is over. I’m constantly checking the list to assure myself that I don’t need to venture out to a store again for a few days.

It is these little obsessions that give you an anchor in these uncertain times.

Test note ↩

Covid Chronicles, 3/25

March 25, 2020 / DB

I find myself bouncing between hope and despair quite often these days. The numbers from Italy and Spain are so staggering, and our country’s reaction so inept, that it is difficult not to live in great fear of what comes next. But I also know that despite all the issues we have had in preparing for this, America tends to do pretty well at crisis once we can get moving in the right direction. We have tons of amazing scientists working on the problem. The best pharmaceutical, bio-tech, and straight tech companies in the history of man are focused on finding solutions. Whole swaths of our manufacturing base will eventually pivot to fight this. I’m not much for prayer, but I do pray that we get our big, American machine cranked up in time to make a difference.

Indiana officially entered lockdown today. I chuckled to hear that beauty salons were absolutely packed up until midnight last night. I say that because S had her monthly hair check-in a week ago and was thrilled that she got in before things shut down. Especially since she had to film a video for her health network.

We are letting M and C color their hair. I’m not sure what they picked but I know orders have been placed and packages are en route. I’m kind of excited to see what they picked. L wasn’t interested but did ask if she could do a mohawk or something. We think she was kidding but we said absolutely not.

I’ve noticed significantly less traffic on the main road outside our house today, so perhaps people are taking the shut down seriously.

I went out for groceries first thing Tuesday and although it was just before 7:00, it was still strange for there to be so little traffic. It felt more like a Sunday morning.

No issues at the grocery store. I got 90% of what I needed, but that was also because I went to a bigger grocery store a few miles away instead of the ones closer to our house. I did my shopping in 30 minutes or so then got in line. There was a single line for all registers, even the self-check out ones, that stretched about halfway through the store. It took me a little over half an hour to finally reach the register, which wasn’t terrible. People were being polite, although there was very little interaction. I tried to smile and say excuse me to everyone, but most people would mutter something back and not make eye contact.

The entire time I was in the store I kept thinking, “I hope I don’t pick up any germs while I’m here.” I’m not normally a germaphobe but I think we all are now.

I had a little tickle in my throat last week that seemed to go away quickly. Except for there was always a little hint of pain still there, like that warning you get a few days before a cold. I wondered if I was really fighting something off or if it was just nerves. Yesterday I was a little sneezy and my throat began hurting again. Today, fine. Never any Covid-specific symptoms. As bad as spring colds can be, it’s kind of funny that you are relieved if you begin exhibiting signs that are more cold-related. “Sneezing, itchy eyes, sinus headache? Thank goodness!”

A couple times I’ve tried to write about the economic impact of all this. It always ends up being too daunting, though. Because the fact is our economy is fucked, and fucked real good. I like to think that whenever this ends, society will pick right back up and get moving again. I realize that’s pretty naive, though. It is going to be very difficult to get all the gears of the economy turning again, and large swaths of the world will be affected by this for a long time. I also think about these billions and trillions we will be spending in the coming months and wonder where those dollars come from. Eventually we have to pay the bills which is a whole other level of crap to dump on an economy that is attempting to restart.

So from that perspective I have an understanding of what people who are arguing that we shouldn’t kill the economy to kill the virus are getting at. There are likely some ways to split the difference, as South Korea has done, but our country does not seem prepared or willing to take the steps required to pull off that balancing act.

And I, too, have been disheartened by those graphs that show how controlling the coronavirus now likely means another spike or two later this year. Our sacrifices now seem futile if we may have to scurry inside again in six months.

But these people who continue to argue that we should be back to normal in two weeks are utterly insane. Their comparisons to how the seasonal flu, car accidents, etc do not interrupt the economy are so insulting and infuriating. Yes, tens of thousands of people die from the flu every year. BUT NOT ALL AT ONCE. Hospitals aren’t so overrun with flu victims that they can’t see the “normal” sick and injured people.

I am fed up with being stuck in the house. And it’s not been two weeks yet. I get queasy when I look at our retirement accounts. I’m sad that we’ve already cancelled one trip and may end up having to cancel another one later this year. I fear the long-term effects this disruption is going to have on the economy, my kids’ education, my wife’s career, and society as a whole.

But, fuck, look at what is happening in Europe, what is beginning to happen in the US, and realize this is just the beginning, and tell me saving tens of millions of people isn’t worth whatever it costs.

Our political leaders have an impossible task. I trust the ones who are speaking to us honestly, who are focused on keeping as many people healthy as possible, and who understand that while it will be an immense challenge to come back from this, we can’t be measured in response to our immediate threats for fear of what comes after.

Covid Chronicles, 3/21

March 21, 2020 / DB

Our first week of home schooling/working is in the books. The girls all did about as well as we could have hoped. They’re bored, bummed they are not seeing their friends, and it can be a struggle to get them out of their rooms. But so far, so good, for the most part.

M was scheduled to have her first in-car driving lesson today. We were a little surprised the company didn’t cancel appointments, so we went ahead and cancelled it on our own. They sent a message saying they were taking extra care to sanitize cars between appointments. But that doesn’t guarantee her instructor would not be carrying the coronavirus or that he got everything cleaned from the previous student. I was also worried about the chance that once S begins taking the occasional shift in her office, she could encounter someone who is a carrier and transfer that to us, which M could in turn pass along to her instructor. Like most things, it was just better to keep M at home. We’ll get driver’s ed knocked out at some point.

Yesterday L and I went outside before the weather changed. We threw a football and baseball for a bit in the glorious, warm spring morning. Then, seeing the low part of our yard was flooded from the mid-week rains, she decided she wanted to build a boat and see if it floated. After a couple of attempts she fashioned a pretty sturdy craft out of foil, paper, packing tape, and twigs. She christened it the SS Corona and we spent 20 minutes experimenting with the current and winds to see how well it did.

While we were outside our neighbor came out to say hello. He is pushing 70 and had just moved his 92-year-old mother home to get her away from her assisted living center. With that in mind, we chatted across the narrow side street that separates our homes, never getting within six feet of each other.

Our homes face a main street that is normally very busy. As we spoke a car drove down the main street and just laid on its horn the entire time it passed. We didn’t see anyone in front of them, pulling into their path, etc. Neither of us recognized the car. We looked at each other and shrugged. We weren’t sure if they were just being jerks or if they were honking at us because we were conversing across 8 feet of asphalt.

I made a grocery run Thursday morning. I got most of what I needed, although it took stops at two stores. I was unable to get any ground beef or fresh chicken breasts. Fortunately I had some beef in the freezer and grabbed one of the last packages of frozen chicken. I guess it’s just a matter of when you hit the store in relation to their re-stock times. My first trip down the bread aisle found the racks totally empty. Ten minutes later restocking was in progress and I was able to grab a loaf. I’m debating whether to give Costco a try next week. I’ve heard they are limiting how many customers can be in the building at once and want to go on a dry day so I’m not in line in the rain if I can’t get inside right away.

Two more local pieces of news. Thursday afternoon they announced that all Indiana schools would remain closed through at least May 1. In his announcement the governor admitted it would take a minor miracle for schools to open again this academic year. I think we all know that but I approve of the incremental closings. Better to leave some glimmer of hope. Hey, who would have thought kids would be begging to go back to school?!

Earlier today CYO officially cancelled all spring sports. That bummed C and L out, as they held out hope that kickball and track would still happen, even if under compressed time tables. That also means I am officially done as kickball coordinator. I have promised my successor that I will guide her through the fall season since she did not get a chance to shadow me through the spring season.

Finally, I have chilled on the news a little bit, and feel better for it. I’ve taken more to checking the Washington Post and Guardian’s daily live blogs than read through every story. I’ve found this gives me a good overview of what is happening, direct links to the stories that require closer reading, and are easier to disengage from once I’m caught up. I recommend them both.

Super Sunday and Monday

February 4, 2020 / DB

What a couple of days! We had back-to-back record high temperatures here in Indy. Sunday was the overtly nicer of the two: the sun was out and it felt like spring. Monday was actually four or five degrees warmer, but other than a quick peak of sun mid-morning, it was a very cloudy day and didn’t seem as warm as it actually was. Alas, in the hour since I dropped the girls at school we’ve dropped from 60 to 45 with another 10 or so degrees expected to bleed away by late afternoon.

Sunday we did some work around and outside the house.

But Monday was wide open so I got out and played golf for the first time since mid-November. I figured the course would fill up quickly so I got over as soon as I could after M’s late start. I teed off right around 9:20 with only a couple people in front of me. It was still cool, in the low 40s, but I didn’t need a hat or a glove on my bare hand. Getting there early was a wise choice. By the time I stepped to the fourth tee, which runs back toward the clubhouse, there were already several foursomes stacked up.

So, how’d I play? Not bad considering I didn’t warm up and played the first three holes way too fast to get some space between the guys who teed off shortly after me. I hit two off the first tee that were absolute garbage. But by the third tee I had loosened up and spent most of the day hitting the driver fairly straight. Same on the greens: after a slow start I had five one-putt holes, including three in a row on the back nine.

The issue yesterday was my irons. I hit a handful of decent shots but spent most of the day either spraying them or making horrible contact. Granted, the turf was in rough shape, as you would expect this time of year. Still, I was disappointed with my consistency there. My approach game was actually pretty solid, so it was all the second/third shots that were killing me.

I shot 44 on the front, 43 on the back, for my second 87. As seems to always happen on this course, I killed myself on one of the last two holes. On 17 I hit my second shot into the little creek that is about 40 yards short of the green. After the drop and penalty shot, I put myself in a really tough spot on the most difficult green on the course and four-putted to card an 8. Blech. I guess under the new handicapping rules I could have stopped counting at 6, but I figured I wasn’t in a match, no one was pushing me from the tee, and I legitimately made a mess of the hole: I deserved an 8 so I was recording an 8.

Still, not bad for a cool day in February when I hadn’t played in over three months. The round also allowed me to start thinking of concrete goals for this year. I think the biggest one is clear: get consistent with irons. If I can learn how to both stay closer to my target and get a better idea of how far I will hit them, I can see myself getting close to 80 on a regular basis.

OK, enough of that. On to the Super Bowl.

That was a damn fine game. I’m very happy for all my Kansas City friends. Several people asked me, “So I know you’re not a Chiefs fan, but are you pulling for them anyway?” My answer was always, “No.” I’m not that dude.

But neither was I pulling hard for the 49ers. I was leaning their way ever-so-slightly, but mostly I was looking for an entertaining game.[1] Which we certainly got.

I thought going in that the Chiefs were just too difficult to contain and no matter how good the Niners defense was, eventually they would crack. Plus I couldn’t see the SF offense putting enough points up to give their defense enough of a cushion to work with.

Hey, that’s pretty much exactly what happened! Not bad for a guy who doesn’t watch much of the NFL anymore!

Since someone always has to be the goat, there’s been plenty of hate aimed toward Kyle Shanahan and Jimmy Garappolo. I don’t see anything egregious either did to cause the loss, though. I tend to fall into the camp of thinking it kind of remarkable that the Niners came so close to winning a Super Bowl with a QB as limited as Garappolo. He can get the ball downfield, but still he’s just a slightly upgraded Alex Smith. A good enough NFL quarterback, but not one who is going to be a game changer.

And the big problem for San Fransisco, of course, was that on the other sideline was the biggest game changer in the game. Unless you get to the point where the Chiefs needed to recover multiple onside kicks to have a chance, the game was never really over. I figured the Chiefs would still win until that math came into effect, no matter how far down they were.

So, again, pleased for all my friends and family back in KC who are still celebrating. But not happy for the team itself not finding any personal joy in their win.

I have had conversations with several Big 12 basketball fans about how college basketball referees are calling the game this year. To sum it up: I really don’t know what a foul is anymore. I see defenders reach out and grab offensive players as they drive, or body them up and knock them off their path, yet no foul is called. I thought there was that big move a couple years back to reestablish the offense’s right to freedom of movement but in game-after-game I see the defense doing things that would be a foul in just about every other level of basketball go uncalled.

I mention that because it sure seems like NFL refs have eased up in their protection of the quarterbacks. I saw Patrick Mahomes get hit in the helmet or face mask at least three times, never with a call. On their final possession when they still had the lead, Garappolo suffered an obvious helmet-to-helmet hit that left him noticeably dazed, again no call.

The whole protecting the quarterback thing is tough. It’s hard to find the right point between giving the most expensive player on the field some aid and still keeping it tackle football. The ebb-and-flow between those concerns changes every season.

I thought it was strange that we seemed to revert to rules from several years ago just in time for the Super Bowl.

Commercials? The Bill Murray Jeep one was clearly the best. I was a fan of the Hyundai Smart Park ad, but apparently not everyone agreed. I guess not everyone loves a good, over-the-top Boston accent. The Google ad that made people cry annoyed me. Disappointed Chris Rock is shilling for Facebook. Not surprised that Sylvester Stallone is doing the same. The whole Mr. Peanut thing is dumb and was painfully predictable.

I didn’t watch the halftime show. I hear some folks were offended that there was some ass shaking. Shocking.

Feels like there needs to be a big push to get Pearl Jam or Foo Fighters on stage soon. But with dancers and stripper poles so people can still fan themselves and claim to be horrified they were forced to watch.

I could have really confused people by saying, “I’m a big Niners fan. I lived out there for 11 months when I was in high school.” In fact, I’m disappointed I didn’t say that even though I’m not a Niners fan at all. ↩

Weekend Visitor Notes

July 29, 2019 / DB

Sometimes it takes visitors to shake you out of your routine.

Our good friends the Nesbitts – who many of you know – were in town over the weekend and we hit a few spots we either don’t hit enough or had never checked out before.

They drove in Friday, so we met them at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, thinking their kids would enjoy touring the museum and then taking the bus ride around the track.¹ One problem with that: there was a race going on so the bus tours were closed. That was kind of a bummer. Two of our girls had done the museum before but none of us had done the track lap, so we were all looking forward to that. Still it was cool to see those Ferraris racing on the road course. We could walk right down to the barricades and were maybe 100 feet away from them as they raced by. And even if you’re not a race fan – which I don’t think any of us are – it is really cool to see all the old race-winning cars that are in the museum. The kids all got to take a picture in a car and a couple of them drive a simulator that looked fun.

With friends from Kansas City in town it seemed necessary to share some of our inferior but still tasty local barbecue with them. Our go-to spot is less than a mile away and does a decent job. But we decided to shake it up and go to a place we had heard good things about down in the Broad Ripple area. It is a dual-concept space, with a German restaurant in front, a large, open beerhall-style space outside, and then they serve barbecue in the middle. The food was all ok, not great. They did have burnt ends on the menu, although under the appetizer section, and I felt obligated to try them. They were the best thing I had as my brisket sandwich was a little too fatty for my tastes and the sides were kind of meh.

We parents were laughing at how it took awhile for the kids to begin interacting. It’s been two years since they’ve seen each other, and although they remember each other and hear stories about each other from us, they didn’t immediately settle into a comfortable space until well after dinner. There was a lot of awkward silence at their end of the table at dinner. As the adults were finishing dinner a few of them went outside and played corn hole, which apparently began to break the ice. They all got in the pool when we got home and it took a good 15-20 minutes before they got truly comfortable together. Something did the trick, though, and they were finally talking, laughing, and running inside to watch Minecraft videos together. The rest of the weekend they did fine, and seemed disappointed when it was time to separate Sunday.

Saturday we went down to the Mass Ave area to show them one of the coolest parts of Indy. There have been a lot of changes in this district in the past couple years so this was just as fun for us. We went into several of the quirky shops and were laughing at all the funny magnets, cards, shirts, etc. Our girls especially loved picking up something that had an F-bomb or other naughty word on it, showing it to us, and then laughing when we laughed. We stopped at a really good taco place for lunch that we hadn’t heard of until that morning. As we were paying our bill we asked our server how long they had been open. He said they just passed one year. We really need to get out more.

In the afternoon and evening our friends the Heberts joined us for a pool party and cookout.

My fellow lovers of music, or just anyone who knows me and Mr. Nesbitt, would enjoy how we delighted at hearing old American Top 40s or Sirius Big 80’s countdowns throughout the weekend. There was much eye-rolling from the wives and kids, which I do not understand.

It was a busy and fast weekend, filled with good conversations and times. It was great to have long-time friends visit, even if I had just visited them two weeks earlier!

Going back to last week, Thursday all three girls had a friend over to swim and then we went to the festival at our old preschool’s church. We really enjoyed the festival this year because A) we went on wristband night when $20 bought the kids unlimited rides and we didn’t have to worry about tickets and B) we turned them loose and sat under a tent drinking a beer until some adult friends arrived. No more hand-holding while either L rides the kiddie rides, or the one girl who doesn’t have a friend there requires assistance. It was pretty nice!

Now shit starts getting real. Every girl will be in practice this week. M begins her orientation cycle on Wednesday. I know the shorter summers are better for retention of knowledge, test scores, and how are kids are prepared for their next academic steps. But these earlier starts still don’t feel right to me.

Side note: my kickball supplier is out that way so I was able to stop in before and stock up on kickballs for the new season! ↩

A Change Is Gonna Come

June 24, 2019 / DB

It has been an unsettled time for Catholic schools in Indianapolis. Unfortunately rather than watching other schools deal with a church leadership that is hopelessly out of touch with the times, it is now affecting our family directly.

Cathedral High School announced Sunday that after two years of working with the Archdiocese to resolve a personnel matter, they were caving[1] and choosing to “separate” from a teacher who is in a same-sex marriage. In a letter that went out to all Cathedral families Sunday afternoon, the school board said that the Archbishop threatened to remove Cathedral’s Catholic identity, which would prevent them from celebrating the sacraments, including holding masses on campus, and would also prevent Cathedral from calling itself a Catholic school, which would in turn remove the school’s tax-exempt status.

This came on the heels of Brebeuf, Indianapolis’ Jesuit high school, losing its Catholic identity on Friday as a result of their refusal to fire a gay teacher. Brebeuf is in a slightly different position as they are run by the Jesuits rather than the Archdiocese. The Jesuit leadership has offered vocal, public support of the Brebeuf board and questioned the Archdiocese’s decision.

This all began last fall when Roncalli, Indy’s south side Catholic high school, placed two school counselors on administrative leave until they renounced their same-sex marriages. The moves were made on orders of the Indy Archdiocese.

We also heard a rumor this weekend – at this point totally unconfirmed by anyone who would know for sure – that a teacher at St. P’s will not be returning next year because he is in a same-sex marriage. I fear a little for our main priest, who has voiced support for gay causes.

Clearly the Indianapolis Archbishop is on a mission.

I always struggle with how to handle issues like this. I have no problem criticizing many policies of the Catholic Church, or any church for that matter. But I do have a hard time understanding where the lines for my criticism fall. We pay tuition at two Catholic schools and send a monthly payment to a church in the archdiocese, I volunteer in the school and am a member of the athletic committee, so I am part of the community. But since I am not Catholic, I wonder what right I have to criticize the stances of an organization I’m not officially a part of.

But in a time when it is increasingly difficult to find people who have the gift for connecting with kids, who are willing to deal with all the shit that comes with being a teacher, who can live on the frankly embarrassing wages teaching offers,[2] it strikes me as counter to the mission of every school, Catholic or otherwise, to run people out of their jobs for the crime of wanting legal acknowledgement of and protection for their love for another human being.

It is more infuriating to see this come in an era when society as a whole is racing toward full equal rights for people of all sexual orientations. In an age where the leader of the Catholic church has stated that the church should accept and love gay people no differently than anyone else. When the American Catholic church has often been ahead of the Vatican in opening up to gay parishioners.

However, it seems that the Indianapolis Archbishop wants to carve out a niche as the man who took a stand against the Church accepting gay marriage. This seems like a decision that will only please conservatives in the church hierarchy who are trying to counter Pope Francis’ liberalization efforts, and people who will be dead in 10–15 years. At the same time it will continue to drive away the younger generation that the Church has been desperate to find ways of bringing back. This feels like a decision that may have seemed like a good idea to a small number of people when it was made, but down the road will look like a monumentally dumb and shortsighted choice that did more harm than good to the organization the Archbishop was trying to “protect.”

I do see some good in this, though. There has been an overwhelming response to the decision. My Facebook feed is filled almost exclusively with outrage at what Cathedral and the Archdiocese have done. Different people are laying blame in different ways, but the common message is that this was a horrible decision that will hurt Cathedral and its students. A few families who have written a lot of exceptionally large checks to Cathedral and churches within the Archdiocese over the years have come out strongly against the decision. Ultimately that is what could move the needle, if some of those funds that have only been promised but not yet delivered get placed in hold until there is a reconsideration.

One current teacher at Cathedral posted that she is divorced and remarried without getting an annulment from the church, which puts her in violation of the same morals clause in her contract the gay employees are charged with violating. She closed her post with “#FIREMETOO.” I can’t imagine how much courage it took to post something like that. There have to be dozens and dozens of teachers in her same situation across Archdiocese schools that will not be targeted by the Archbishop simply because they are married to someone of the opposite sex.

I was most pleased by how our girls responded. We got the email after dropping C off at camp, so it was just M and L with us. They both immediately expressed their confusion and anger. “That’s so stupid! It doesn’t make any sense! The only reason they should ever fire a teacher is if they are a bad teacher or hurt someone!” We’ve spent their entire lives teaching them not to judge people because of how they look, what language they speak, their culture, or who they love. When forced to confront the issue directly, it’s heartening to know that they can put those lessons into practice immediately.

I also think the vast majority of the Cathedral faculty support their colleague and believe this decision is wrong. I am confident that they will teach our daughters values that are more consistent with our world view than the Archbishop’s retrograde philosophy. It is that knowledge that allows me to remain comfortable with sending our girls there.

Despite those glimmers, it is a sad and frustrating moment. In general I think society is headed in the right direction, toward the time when everyone who pays taxes receives the same rights and protections under the law. There are still far too many extremely powerful organizations, though, that are dragging their feet and refusing to join the majority view that isolating and hating people is wrong. That this is occurring in the sphere of secondary education, where Catholic high schools pride themselves on having an advantage over public institutions in how they challenge young adults to broaden their perspectives, learn and practice empathy, and live moral lives where all God’s children are treated with love and respect is particularly disheartening.

My term, not theirs. ↩
I had a conversation with a teacher at a Catholic school this past winter in which I learned how much this teacher made. It almost made me want to cry at how little this person, who has tons of education and experience, clears each year. Especially when you factor in all the bullshit that comes with dealing with kids all day. ↩

Fun With Utilities

February 18, 2019 / DB

Have I mentioned my issues with our gas, water, and sewer utility before? Well, I’m about to!

These people suck. Seriously.

Here’s a list of the issues we’ve gone through with them over the past eight months.

First, our builder did not drop any grass seed until the week that the water line was supposed to be connected. They had a firm date from the utility – this was the week we reached a deal to buy the house – and leveled the torn up ground and then covered it with seed. They also planted some small bushes and ornamentals. And then the water line did not get put in. For 10 days. When it was crazy hot and dry.

Thus, our yard looked like shit all summer, more weeds than grass because all that seed had died. Which, you know, whatever: unless you’re laying sod you figure it’s going to take a couple seasons to get the yard in good shape. But, still, would have been nice for the first summer not to be a total waste. The bushes held on, only because our builder came over every night and watered them until we closed.

Next, when we opened our account with them we signed up for all the easiest stuff: budget pay so our bill only changes once per year, auto pay so we don’t have to think about the payment going through, and paperless billing so we don’t get a bill we won’t really look at. Each month I got an email with the amount due and confirmation that that amount would be paid on date X.

Well, we never went online to look at our bill until deep into August. When we did, we found that A) they hadn’t been checking our water meter and B) they hadn’t switched the sewer service to our name with the gas and water. We actually discovered B because we got a message from the accounting department at our builder that said, “Hey, dumbass, get this fixed.”

So I call and talk to a few people, several of whom seem befuddled that our gas meter would get read but not our water meter. Finally I reached someone in the meter reading department and he knew what was up. “I bet,” he said with a hint of ‘Ah-ha!’ to his voice, “that your meter got covered up when the landscaping was done. I’ll send someone out to locate it, uncover it, and you should be good.”

Magic!

In October we got a bill that, sure enough, appeared to be for about three months of water. All fixed, right?

Well, no. See, the thing is, our water line comes in from under the main street our house sits off of. And they put the water meter way out by that street, roughly 200 feet from our house. I don’t think it was ever buried; the meter reader just looked around our house, couldn’t find it, and gave up. In fact, when I first called they said he had marked it as “Behind fence.” We have no fence. Anyway, I found it by following a straight line from where the line comes into our house to where they tore up the street last June. There it was, painted blue by whoever had come out to locate it.

In November our gas meter was read, but not our water meter. Now, sometimes a meter won’t get read because of the weather. So, dumbly, I gave them the benefit of the doubt and another month. Oh, and our November bill was estimated based on our previous month’s bill. Which, you may recall, covered three months of service. So we were billed for three months of water/sewer in November.

December was going to be correct, right?

WRONG!

Once again, no water meter read, we were billed for another three months of service.

So I hop on the phone and work my way to the right people again. The guy I spoke with in the meter reading department couldn’t have been nicer. When I told him how high our bill was because we had been billed for, basically, six months of water in two months, he promised to send someone out that week to take a new reading and said to call back in a week to get an updated bill. He also, allegedly, put notes into “the system” that would let the readers know exactly where our meter was located.

You will no doubt be shocked to learn that when I called the next week to get an updated bill, no new reading had taken place! In fact, the lady I spoke with said the man who informed me there would be a new reading and a new bill “never should have said that.” Oh, goodie. She reviewed our account and said we should have gotten some kind of notice from them that the meter was not readable, but since that letter was never sent, she gave us a credit of $150. She was very nice, and I hoped this would be my final call.

Just to be safe, when meter read day rolled around in January, I took no chances. I cleared the snow off of our meter. I put a big, bright orange, yard stake next to it. And I put a poster board sign next to our gas meter that said the water meter was located behind the big tree, marked by a stake. And then I hoped for the best.

Miracle of miracles, they actually read our damn water meter in January! All that estimated use got backed out and we went from a $550 balance to a credit balance of nearly $200. I sent thoughts of thanks out to the folks that had helped us.

Last week was meter read day. I put the sign out again. I made sure the yard stake was still by the meter. Saturday I got the email saying our bill was ready. You probably never would have guessed this, but they didn’t read the water meter! And in order to do the estimated read, they had to go back to our last read. Which, if you’ve been following closely, you will remember covered three months of use. So we’re back to up a $500-some balance.

I was not getting back on the phone and sitting through hold music, then bouncing around until I was connected with the “right” person again. I went to the website and looked for some other way to send in feedback. I found a page that you can add comments and submit them. I carefully typed out the whole history of this disaster and pasted it into the text box. When I tried to hit Submit, I got an error message that said “Comments may only contain letters and numbers.”

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

My message didn’t have any weird symbols or ancient ruins in it. I took out the dollar signs where I noted what we had been charged and tried again. Nothing. I Find/Replaced every punctuation mark with empty spaces. Goodbye periods, question marks, and commas. And good grammar, for crying out loud. But, again, no luck.

Over in the corner of the screen there was one of those annoying “Need Help? Let’s Chat!” buttons. I clicked on it. “Sheryl” said she’d be glad to help me. Since I knew she was just the front door, there was no way I was going to lay out the whole story. So I just told her about the issue I was having with the website. After a pause her response was, “I’ll let IT know. Try again in 30 minutes.”

OHHHHHHH, FUCK YOU “SHERYL”!

I was literally banging my desk as hard as I could with the palm of my hand. All we want to do is pay the appropriate amount for the water we use. Should it really be this hard?

I guess I’ll try again in 30 minutes. And next month, on meter read day, I might set up a chair next to our gas meter and wait for that motherfucker to come and force his lazy ass to walk out and check the water meter too. I have a baseball bat. I’m tall. I can be intimidating.

BTW, the house next to us remains for sale. There was an open house yesterday and we strolled over to take a peek, since we knew they had staged it for this one. As we walked up the driveway, I saw their water meter, also 200 feet from their house. If anyone ever buys that house my head will literally explode if they have a perfect water bill their first month there, and each one after.

Hoops!

November 7, 2018 / DB

College hoops is here! And it kicked off in a big way for those of is who are in Indianapolis.

I did not plan on going to the Champions Classic. I have a couple acquaintances who I know could have easily gotten me decent seats. But L’s city basketball tournament was starting last night, at the exact same time as the KU-Michigan State game, so I decided to be a good dad and stick with her.

Until I got an email late Tuesday morning with the offer of a free ticket. I scrambled to make sure L could get a lift to her game and then jumped all over that ticket. That was a wise course of action, as I had a solid night downtown.

One of my acquaintances is a very well connected booster. I met him and some other friends at the team hotel for a drink before the game. While I was enjoying a Woodford Reserve I got to meet several people who work in the basketball office, a few coaches wives, a member of the coaching staff, and a member of the broadcast crew. I acted like I was supposed to be there and listened quietly as folks discussed the search for a new football coach, past coaching searches, and how each of the last two KU athletic directors made colossal fuck ups that brought KU football to its current lowly state.[1]

That was fun!

On to the game. I was sitting with a guy I know very casually, who lucked into some great seats when his brother-in-law got called away on business. We were 15 rows off the floor, behind the basket on the KU bench end of the court. Other than the basket being in the way on some plays, they were great seats.

Even better was how KU play for the first 30–35 minutes of the game. A steady, controlled effort that built a big lead and answered every Michigan State run. Those last five-plus minutes did get a little ragged, and I think KU’s relative inexperience really showed in that stretch. But MSU never had the ball with a chance to tie, so I’ll chalk this up as both a nice W and a learning experience.

Oh, and I got off my Indy losing streak! KU had played here two other times in the 15 years I’ve lived here. I saw both games, and both were losses: to Michigan State in the 2010 Sweet 16 and to Kentucky four years ago. Throw in driving to Louisville to watch the Elite 8 loss to Villanova three years ago and it had been a long time since I had seen KU win a game in person.

Quintin Grimes looked really good in his first real collegiate game. He seems like one of those kids who can do anything he wants, but at the same time never tries to do too much. And he still has clear room for improvement in his game. Despite kind of a ragged stat line, I thought Devon Dotson was really good, too, at least on offense. MSU really didn’t have an answer for his speed. He just needs to learn how to be smarter in using that speed.

Dedric Lawson seemed to have an off-game, yet he still went for 20–14–6, which is a hell of a night. That came without hitting any jump shots, missing several relatively easy shots at the rim, and struggling against MSU’s size. You always wonder about these high-tier transfers, who come in with impressive stats at another school, and how they will fit into a different system where they’re surrounded by other great players. But, man, he is legit.

So plenty to feel good about in a game that shouldn’t have been as close as the final score. I was worried about this one, figuring although KU is more talented, they are new to each other where MSU was loaded with experience. KU needs to find consistent shooting, teach the freshmen how to play defense, and build a solid bench. But there’s a lot of promise with this squad.

It was fun looking around before and during the game and seeing how many former KU players were in attendance. I had confirmed sightings of: Scot Pollard, Raef LaFrentz, Mario Chalmers, Sherron Collins, Brandon Rush, and even Joel Embiid who is in town to play the Pacers tonight. I saw another guy who played way back in the day but couldn’t place his face. I couldn’t decide it if was Roger Morningstar or other dude from the 1970s.

Fortunately we were in a mostly KU section. The building was probably 75% crazy Kentucky fans. I still have PTSD from the experience against UK in that building four years ago, so I was really glad we weren’t playing them. We were pretty much opposite the one big MSU section, although there were a few Spartans scattered around us. It is always hard to tell how the fans are split when you’re in the middle of one of those groups. I would say KU and Duke probably had about the same number of fans, each spilling into two sections, slightly more than Michigan State.

My favorite UK fan was sitting two seats from me. He was a good ol’ boy who would constantly take videos while narrating them. I really should have asked for his YouTube name so I could check them out. He was also hitting the beer pretty hard. He ordered two Bud Lites and two “Coolers” Lites, acting like he was buying for his friends and then proceeded to pound all four. “Coolers” Lite might be my favorite name for a shitty beer I’ve ever heard. He was all fired up for the 30 minutes between games and the first five minutes or so of the UK-Duke game. Then he got sullen and quiet and just complained about all the “pussy ass calls” the refs were hitting his Cats with. Pussy ass is an interesting phrase, too.

OH MAH GAWD DUKE. Holy shit, man. Seriously, they put on the most impressive layup line I’ve ever seen. They had skinny white dudes throwing down 360s. Zion Williamson was casually throwing lobs to people. He’d occasionally toss down a dunk of his own, but would often stop at the 3-point line and drain a 3. The UK fans were all over him. “Fall in love with it!” is what the drunkard to my left said every time he took a 3 in warmups.

And then the damn game started. Kentucky just ripped KU apart in this game four years ago. It honestly looked like KU was a D2 team bussed in for an exhibition game that night. I think what Duke did to UK last night was even more impressive. It was downright scary. Every single piece Duke has looked amazing. And the scary thing is, they weren’t really playing good team basketball. They just overwhelmed Kentucky with their raw talent. RJ Barrett and Cam Reddish were just putting their heads down and beating people one-on-one, or pulling up and drilling threes. It’s not like Kentucky doesn’t have talented, athletic kids on their team. The scary thing for the rest of the college basketball world is that if Coach K can get his team listening to him and playing together, this Duke team could be untouchable. Us Duke haters can hope they either never click and are always trying to just play hero, AAU ball, and that good coaches will find tendencies to exploit and ways of slowing them down. But good Lord they looked amazing. And I only watched the first half!

My favorite Coach K moment of the night came when Kentucky was shooting free throws in the first half. It was a two-shot foul. I noticed after the first shot K jumped off his bench and started screaming at the ref nearest to him, pointing at the three-point line. A couple subs were checking in, so he had a 10–15 second break when he could just lay into this ref. My best guess was that he was complaining that one of the Kentucky guards who was standing behind the shooter had stepped over the arc before the first free throw. Again, on a two shot foul. This is like the most meaningless thing you could complain about, but K was red in the face and screaming. I guess this is part of his method – Dean Smith used to do the same thing – arguing about tiny little things to just wear down the refs over the course of the game. It seems silly and petty to me, but I haven’t won 1100 D1 games, so what do I know.

Anyway, college hoops is back! Way too early; what can’t we play these games the first week of December when the teams have shaken the rust off? But, still, the Road to the Final Four has begun.

(Oh, and L’s team won their tournament game. I was getting text updates from other parents, one of whom described the first half as a “shit show.” They were playing a team they beat by 20 in the regular season but were only up 5–4 at halftime. Fortunately they pulled away to win by 10, L scoring six, all in the second half.)

Ask me offline, I have stories! ↩

The New Local

July 16, 2018 / DB

Now that we’ve been in the new house for three weeks, I think I owe my readers a tour. Not of the house; that would be weird and difficult to do via text. If you want to see it, you just need to schedule a visit!

Rather a tour of our area, Nora, because it is quite different than the old digs.

We have a YMCA that is literally within walking distance. So close that if the girls went together we’d be comfortable letting them go there alone. They just have to cut across the edge of our neighbors’ yard, duck through a break in the tree line, and they’re in the Y’s parking lot. We finally joined last Friday and spent an hour at the pool before it got too hot to stay in the sun. Once our summer membership expires that is where I’ll be doing my daily workouts.

Running just behind our neighborhood, and accessible from the Y’s parking lot, is the Monon trail, the urban path that extends from downtown Indy 20 miles to the far northern ‘burbs. Last week L and I hopped on our bikes and rode down to Broad Ripple and back. It was only about a 5 mile round trip and she said she’s ready to go further next time.

Our old neighborhood was very suburban. We were surrounded by other neighborhoods, parks, gravel mines, and corn fields. The nearest shops and restaurants were all a healthy walk away. In the new ‘hood, we are less than half a mile from a grocery store, a Target, and their surrounding shopping areas, a Walgreen’s and CVS, and[1] a liquor store. We’ve already walked to a restaurant for dinner one night and a yogurt place for dessert another night. There are plenty of fast food options, a pizza place, a great bagel place, and a few other nice restaurants all within a 15 minute walk. As we were strolling home from dinner last week I told S it was almost like living on the Plaza in Kansas City again. Except we live in a house with a big yard instead of sharing walls with our neighbors.

North Central High School is also right up the street from our house. Friday night there was a high school football all star game at their stadium and we could clearly hear the PA announcer from our front steps. NC usually has a really good basketball team – famous alums include Jason Gardner, Eric Gordon, and Kris Wilkes – so I think L is excited to go watch them this winter.

L and I took 15–20 minutes to bike down to Broad Ripple Friday. When we hop in the car, as we did for dinner Sunday, we can be there in about five minutes. Broad Ripple was a 20-minute drive from our old house because of traffic lights, which meant we didn’t take advantage of all its dining opportunities very often. We could usually find something closer and more convenient. Now, thought, we’ve already eaten down there three times in three weeks.

The demographics of our area are quite different than in Carmel, too. Nora leans to the affluent side for sure. We have a pretty fat house and there are plenty that would be well beyond our budget. While new construction like ours isn’t uncommon, Nora tends to be filled with big, beautiful old homes.

That affluence extends to about half a mile north of our house. When you get past the 86th Street shopping corridor you move into an area of older apartments that are home to mostly working class African-American and Hispanic families. That area, and some others within Washington Township, make North Central almost evenly split between white and black students, with a healthy slice of Hispanic students as well. While our girls won’t go to school there, just being in this area will certainly open their eyes to the truth that there are people who look different than us and have very different lives than us.

Allow me to jump back for a minute to talk about our grocery store. I was very excited to have one right around the corner because I go to the store roughly 87 times a week. After three trips to our new one, though, I’m kind of done with it. They never, ever have enough people working the registers and on two trips I spent nearly as much time in line as I did filling my cart. I freaking hate waiting to check out at stores so I’ve given up on that location for all but quick stops. It is also older, with very narrow aisles, and it seems to always be filled with old people who block the aisles and can’t hear you when you say “Excuse me,” and try to squeeze by.

The one thing I will give the local store is that it shows off the area’s demographics. On one recent trip there was a group of African-American women shopping together. Two were in the little moto-carts for folks who can’t get around well. They had a third lady with them and they were cruising around, saying hello to everyone, having a great time. At one point the ladies in the carts got separated and the third lady was walking around yelling for the other, “MONIQUE!!! MONIQUE!!! WHERE ARE YOU????” Then she’d belly laugh. L was with me that day and was rolling.

That same day I got behind an older white man in line and he kept turning around making racial comments about the black lady in front of him. Nice. I will admit she was making an odd transaction. She paid for all her groceries at once, then kept a green pepper separate. I don’t know what she used to pay for the pepper, but she asked for $200 in change from whatever she used. That kicked off a 10 minute process of finding the right person to get into the office to replenish the drawer with cash. While that is certainly odd and out of the ordinary, I’m not sure it was worthy of racial comments from Angry Old White Man in front of me.

One register over, there was a staggeringly attractive white lady[2] in her best workout gear who was screaming at her kids for going over and looking at the gumball machine. They didn’t mess with it in any way. They just looked at it. These girls were like 4 and 3 but something about that set their hottie mom off. Then again, as parents we all have those days when you’re barely hanging on and some tiny thing will provoke all your parental fury.

Quite the gamut in one trip to the grocery store. Shame that the service in there is so bad and I won’t be getting to see shows like this every week.

With a new one coming soon. ↩
I got a little woozy every time I passed her in the aisles. She was well put together. ↩