Tag: Misc (Page 11 of 11)

Opening Day

Big day. Huge day. Important day. Opening Day in baseball. As should always be the case, the NCAA championship game is tonight as well. You may recall my suggested sports calendar last fall required baseball beginning the day college basketball ended. And just for the cultural reference freaks out there, it’s the 10th anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s death. I’ve got a lot to work through here, without even touching what I’ve compiled over the last two weeks. Here goes.

Opening Day just ain’t what it used to be. Games in Japan, Sunday night ESPN openers. Maybe it’s living in a non-MLB city, but I didn’t wake up thinking, “Wow, it’s opening day!” this morning. Still, even if your favorite sport isn’t baseball, there’s something special about MLB opening day that’s unlike any other sport. It’s the symbolic beginning of spring, the gateway to summer nights sitting in front of a radio listening to the scores coming in from the West Coast. In the sport that is the least generous with postseason opportunities, Opening Day is the single time when fans of every team can hope for October glory. Now that I’m into my 30s, Opening Day is the slightest bit bittersweet. Instead of appreciating the amazing level of play, unequaled quality of ballparks, or unrivaled access to games for the casual fan, I look back longingly on the glory days of my youth in the late 70s and early 80s when I knew almost every player on every roster. My summers were spent carefully allotting time to reading the box scores, sorting my baseball cards, playing Coleco Head-to-Head baseball, playing any number of backyard versions of baseball, then watching/listening to games that night. The game seemed simpler, more pure, more romantic then. It’s always easy to forget that in addition to all the changes in the game, it’s really the massive changes in my life since I was 10 that make the game different.

Two suggestions to baseball: A) With the exception of teams that play in completely closed domes or the states of Florida, Georgia, Texas, Arizona, and Southern California, all games the first two weeks of April should be played during the day. No one goes to the games after opening day anyway, why not give the players and the 2,000 people who come out a break and play in the daylight hours to avoid wind chills in the teens? Just a thought. B) The alternate jersey thing is completely out of control. I demand a rule that only one team should wear their alternate jersey in a given game. Last week, the Orioles and Mets played a preseason game and each squad wore orange jerseys. Isn’t the whole point of jerseys so you can quickly tell which team is in the field and which team is batting? I had no idea who was doing what when I saw highlights of the game. Home team should have first call on jerseys, and if they wear something dark, the visiting team should have to wear their light tops.

I’m really concerned that so many of the Royals’ hopes rely on Juan Gonzalez’s health and happiness. In the last year of the Carlos Beltran era, this could be the last opportunity for the Royals to play in October for a few years. I hope Juan doesn’t start pouting in July or strain some muscle none of us have ever heard of in August and derail the Royals’ pennant run.

I like UConn tonight, not because I harbor any ill will towards Georgia Tech for beating KU, but because I don’t think Tech will be able to control Emeka Okufor. And yes, I puked when I read the article last week saying Okufor’s father had called the KU coaching staff two times to request they scout young Emeka when he was in high school and Roy Williams never responded. I know you can’t just plug Emeka in and keep everything else that happened the last three years exactly the same, but imagine for a minute him in the same rotation as Drew Gooden, Nick Collison, and Wayne Simien over those seasons. All that desire to win the national championship that Roy has in his little finger might have been quenched.

Cobain killed himself ten years ago today, but it wasn’t until April 8 that his body was found. I remember getting home from work on April 8, 1994, laying on my bed reading a book about the ills of college basketball recruiting, and noticing my radio, which I could barely hear, seemed to have an endless stream of talk and very little music. I leaned over, turned it up, and heard the news. I can’t say I was devastated or even shocked. In fact, initially, I’m embarrassed that I was excited because now our generation had our musical martyr. I wasn’t a huge fan of Nirvana at the time, leaning more towards the more accessible songs of Pearl Jam from the beginning. I wasn’t some angst ridden kid who never felt comfortable outside my insulated group of friends who experienced similar pains. I had a pretty good life. Cobain’s pain always seemed first person, which was uncomfortable to someone who hadn’t endured anything worse than a couple bad breakups in 23 years of living. Eddie Vedder’s pain always seemed third person and fictional, something I could listen to and understand from afar. It wasn’t until much later that I appreciated what Cobain was singing about, not because of any personal experiences, but more from the maturity that allowed me to take in the perspectives of others. As I grew to appreciate Cobain’s influences, his music made more and more sense to me. Now, I think he was a genius, at least with a guitar and a notebook. The 90s alternative rock revolution was a truly great time for music, and no one reached the heights that Cobain and Nirvana reached. I don’t think things would have been different if he had lived. Perhaps Nirvana would have released another great album or two, but nothing that would have altered the musical landscape. They did it once, the movement had been unleashed, and regardless of their future success, it was destined to die out right around the time it did fade away in 1996-7.

How to handle a time change properly: We drove to St. Louis Saturday for a wedding and gained an hour. We drove home Sunday and made no changes to our watches. Not bad. I will complain, though, about having to revamp my life again. I’m back to starting work at the same time as my compatriots in Kansas City. That extra hour in the morning was kind of nice. The sun is hitting our windows at 6:20 AM or so. All my meetings that are scheduled weekly are suddenly an hour earlier. Sigh.

The little girlfriend has been going nuts. Saturday night, S. described the movements as “flips” and when I put my hand on her stomach, there was some serious activity going on. Last night, we decided to follow the guide books and listen to some classical music to stimulate the math part of her little brain. Immediately, her level of activity increased greatly. So she’s either going to be very good at math, or she really wanted me to switch back to the Old School Rap channel I had been parked on earlier.

 

D’s Notes

That ended up being some exciting ending to the Sugar Bowl. And yes, I stayed up until 2:00 waiting for the final AP poll. Not on purpose, mind you. It just kind of happened that way.

Brent Musberger is an awful, awful announcer. He drives me batty every fall doing games. He’s so judgmental in his analysis of college players. He predicts things that won’t ever happen. He gets excited about things that have no bearing on the game (“Now wait a minute, LSU players say they have the ball!” after the officials already gave possession to OU. Like LSU players have veto power or something.) ABC somehow continues to think he’s best suited to do the marquee game of the season each January. CBS wised up and booted his ass during the 1990 Final Four (not that Jim Nantz is particularly dynamic or knowledgeable). Why can’t ABC do the same?

I forgot to post my NFL playoff predictions before we left. I picked Tennessee to beat Baltimore in a tight game, possibly on a last minute field goal. I thought Carolina would roll over my Cowboys. I thought Green Bay would win a nail biter against Seattle, possibly on special teams or a turnover. And I expected the Colts to just destroy Denver. Honest, that’s exactly what I typed Wednesday.

OK, seriously, I like the Colts to beat the Chiefs in an extremely tight game. Both teams have balanced offenses, with the Chiefs running better and the Colts passing better. But the Chiefs problems on defense will be too much to overcome, where the Colts defense is really humming right now. I like New England to win a surprisingly easy game over Tennessee. Rams win big over Carolina. And the Packers pull a shocker in Philly. Two upsets!

There are a lot of cool things in the NFL. The anticipation when Dante Hall gathers in a punt. Peyton Manning throwing a laser beam to Marvin Harrison. Ray Lewis chasing someone down. Knowing Tom Brady will find a way to win. Steve McNair. But nothing is cooler than Bret Favre running around in celebration after a win.

My picture with the rules for our cabin in French Lick turned out nicely. Here’s how we were instructed to operate our furnace. All grammatical errors are the responsibility of our hostess.

Your Furnace
If you want your furnace to keep you warm follow these suggestion’s!
1. Cabin will be comfortable when you arrive. Please keep door’s closed as soon as possible.
2. DO’NOT open window’s!
3. Keep register’s free from clothing, baggage, blanket’s, chairs, tables, etc. This is your furnace vent’s!
4. Keep inside door’s open for complete circulation as much as possible!
5. Adjust thermostat only few degrees at a time or unit will SHUT DOWN!!!

Isn’t it amazing I got any sleep with all that material? Sentence #3 is especially inspiring, using both correct and incorrect plural forms. I’m amazed the words circulation and thermostat were spelled correctly. And was she a weather girl in a past life? What’s the deal with all the exclamation points? This could be a long, lost relative of Gary Lezak we were dealing with.

Have you seen this low-carb Angus burger at Hardee’s? Have you seen this? A burger with onions, tomato, cheese wrapped in lettuce. I understand the Atkins Diet works for some and thus is quite popular. But I love the fact someone was sitting in a Hardee’s and thought, “We could pull the bun off and market our crappy burger as low carb!” Brilliant!

Speaking of low carb, I enjoyed a Queso Burrito at Qdoba Saturday. Rice, beans, chicken, and a three-cheese sauce all wrapped in a big, fat tortilla. I could probably have run a couple marathons on all the carbs that sucker had. It’s nice to not have to worry about that.

Dec. 1

I’m trying to get some work done today. Really. But it seems like I lose my network connection every five minutes. Outlook hasn’t worked for about 30 minutes. That’s all I need, when I’m in the proverbial donut week at work. Holiday last week. This weekend, visitors from Kansas City. Next work week, a trip to California and Arizona. Next weekend, a trip to Kansas City for a KU game and the Sinatra Party. I don’t need these motivational land mines.

December 1. To me, that’s the official start of the holiday season. I like a buffer between Thanksgiving and Christmas. No shopping the first weekend of the season for me. Hopefully you and yours had safe and happy weekends. Thanksgiving in Carmel, IN was uneventful, save a plumbing incident. We fed 12 people until they were happy. We played bad games. I took several long naps, read a lot, watched three movies (including the first of many viewings of Christmas Vacation). Funny thing, when you’re cooking for 12, you don’t have time to sit down and watch any football. I saw a total of five minutes of football Thursday, which was a little disappointing.

On the food tip, it was a very traditional Thanksgiving week here. Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, corn, rolls. All book ended with sushi on Tuesday (My first eel experience, which I was pleased with) and Indian food Saturday (I chose the Tandoori mixed grill. Outstanding!). Pretty traditional.

Speaking of plumbing, I enjoy dropping $250 to have a guy come run 35 feet of steel cable between our house and the main sewer line. Plumbing sure is some racket.

Whatever Frenchie came up with the term “a la mode” deserves a Nobel Prize.

I began this discussion with a couple of your this morning, but what’s the deal with Dan Dierdorf? Is there a worse announcer at a high level than him? The bombast and In Love With His Own Voice qualities of Dick Vitale without any of the charm and passion Vitale brings. The apparent obligation to comment on everything. And I mean everything. Worse, most of his observations aren’t good and he laughs as though he’s made some great joke every ten seconds. I think my favorite broadcast experiment was when ABC let Dierdorf do college games by himself for a year or two. He had no problem filling the airspace normally reserved for 2-3 people on his own. But, of course, he went to Michigan and he’s smarter than everyone else. I got to listen to him last week doing the Colts game, then yesterday for the Chiefs. His flaws are exacerbated by Dick Enberg, who’s about 20 years past his prime. Is it really that hard to put old announcers out to pasture?

Mailbag

As a reminder to my faithful readers (and those who may bounce in here by accident) you can either comment on any topic by hitting the comment link under each entry. Or, for a more private comment, you can send me an e-mail by using the link to the right. With that in mind, I wanted to share some thoughts based on recent comments and e-mails I have received.

I hope everyone either watched or taped Oprah and saw today’s episode with the Queer Eye guys. Lisa L. did New Hampton, Iowa proud and Thom Filicia gave Ms. L’s boyfriend a fabulously redesigned apartment. I think we’re all owed the story on how they were selected. Erick & Ann, do tell.

Speaking of Erick, he wrote me a tremendous e-mail last weekend. The following shall serve as my public response:

Dear Erick,
Thanks for the message. It’s always great to get feedback from loyal readers such as yourself. I’m glad you both enjoy the website, and use it as a starting point for an evening of surfing. I, too, love the Internet and the endless possibilities. Sometimes, I get online only wanting to research how many free throws teams coached by Roy Williams missed in their final game each season, and three hours later I’ve watched penguins at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, read the lyrics to every Public Enemy song, and read 15 different perspectives on the day’s biggest news story. I still need to send that thank you note to Al Gore for inventing this when he was reinventing government. I wish I had that kind of free time!
I have not tried the mayonnaise recipe you got at Beastieboys.com, but rest assured, as soon as we empty our current container of Hellmann’s, I’ll give it a shot.
I had no idea there was still a burgeoning BMX subculture. I remember breaking my friend Kent’s Mongoose bike in seventh grade (I snapped the gooseneck while trying to make a wicked jump). Giving Kent two month’s worth of my allowance to pay for it ended my BMX career early.
I’m pleased that Willie Nelson is such a big supporter of education. While it’s clear Willie got his masters in the school of life, not every kid has to follow his path to be successful.
Your HGTV reference confused me. Everything we’ve tried to plant here has died. Clearly there is nary a green thumb in this household.
Finally, I think the results returned from your search for Sean Murray have to be shared. From seanmurray.hit.bg:
Sean enjoys playing the guitar, snowboarding, snow skiing, horseback riding, and building computers. He is an avid David Lynch fanatic and has an impressive collection of Lynch memorabilia.
I’m surprised there’s no mention of his fondness for being naked.

Thanks again for the message, Erick. Please continue to wear your Bill Whittemore jersey out and about each weekend. It’s clearly paying dividends. If you find yourself anywhere near Indy this weekend, please stop by and we can watch the KU-MU game together.

Your pal,
D

Sebastian Assman would have been a fine name for a child. In fact, I may add it to the list of names I keep ready for those moments when S. asks me, “When we have kids, what names do you like?” My pat answers are DeShawn, LaDanian, and LaFester. If the kid’s going to ball, he needs a name to get respect before he steps on the court. I think Sebastian Assman has the same effect. Fellow newlyweds, answering like this ends the little question game pretty quickly, so you can get back to watching the game and drinking your High Life.

I’ve put a lot of thought into the “what causes gun violence” question that Bowling for Columbine brought up. Two thoughts: 1) Personal property is the organizing principle for the US. If you even think about taking something that’s mine, I’m supposed to defend it. I remember uncles who were farmers always reaching for the shotgun when a strange car pulled into the farm after dark. You show the gun first, ask questions later. Even a perceived threat can elicit the worst response sometimes. 2) The huge amount of wealth in this country combined with the ease of movement among social classes. If I have a gun, I can steal some money, a car, clothing, whatever it is I want. Instant social mobility. Problem is, sometimes flashing a gun and not meaning to use it escalates quickly.
Those aren’t meant to be exhaustive explanations, just two ideas. Whether you have an agenda or not, I think you can spend years studying this subject and still have no idea what the cause is (if there’s even one) or how to even begin finding a solution.

Some of you may have noticed the little counter on the right side of the page, which shows how many people have visited. I can get extended stats, like the IP address of everyone that visits, how they find me (personal bookmark, Google search, referring site, etc). The most interesting search so far is someone who searched for Drew Henson Girlfriend Pictures on MSN. Not sure how this popped up on the search, but I’m glad to have random people, if only for a moment, take a look. Dale Smith says he was able to find me briefly on Google under I love Nazis, but that has gone away, sadly.

Well, that’s all for now. The more comments and e-mails I get, the more often I’ll open up the mailbag. Coming events this week include:
– A discussion of the separation of church and state
– An ode to college rivalries
– And I’m way behind on my Listening Post entries. I hope to have one that Mike from BYU will enjoy.

D’s Notes From LA

Some notes from the coast (well, Ontario at least) while watching the NFL opener and letting my In ‘N Out Double-Double settle happily in my belly.

My favorite thing about In ‘N Out Burger isn’t the food or the name or the Fletch reference. It’s the fact I ALWAYS get some sauce on my shirt when I eat there. I love that little reminder the next time I wear the shirt (In ‘n Out sauce is a bitch to get out of cotton. Probably explains why it’s so hard to digest.).

For the record, I’m officially comfortable with football being on tonight, although let’s all admit the NFL on Thursday isn’t completely correct. While Mother Nature may have conspired to give most of the country football weather of some sort last weekend, it still didn’t feel like football season. If I’m ever elected president, in addition to banning large trucks from the roads during rush hour, I would mandate strict limits to sport seasons:

Football: Starts the weekend after Labor Day. All regular season college games must be completed by the weekend of Thanksgiving. No bowl games before December 20. None after January 2. Super Bowl must be played the last weekend of January (keeping the NFL from expanding the season).
Baseball: Opening Day must be the first Monday of April, with all games that day being day games. No regular season games should be played in October (shorten the season to 154 games to guarantee that.) No playoff games after October 30.
Basketball: No NBA games before November 1. No college games before the week of Thanksgiving. The one exception is for the preseason NIT, which would receive a one-week waiver so the campus rounds could be played in time to get the four finalists to New York the night before Thanksgiving. The NCAA championship must always be played the first Monday of April. We really need to do something about getting the NBA Finals over by June 10 too.
Hockey: Eliminate the entire regular season and just have “playoff hockey” between April 1 and June 1.

Peyton Manning has a shit-load of endorsements, doesn’t he? Jerry Rice is the greatest player ever, and probably has fewer endorsements in 20 years than Peyton has racked up in seven.

Is there anything dumber than free agents who switch teams and then talk about proving to their old team that they let someone good get away? You were a free agent! You had the freedom to negotiate with every team in the league, you got to weight the offers, and you chose the one that was best for you. Shut up and count your money.

You would think I might be a bigger fan of Lisa Guerrero than Melissa Stark. In most competitions I would be (although Ms. Guerrero is showing her age a little, but it’s kind of cool that ABC didn’t go with some 21 year old hottie), but when you’re talking fully clothed, chest-up shots all night, I think I go with the Phi Beta Kappa rather than the D Material candidate.

East Coast fans are the best. There’s really nothing like them. East Coast fans just sound different, they have a roar that the rest of the country can’t reproduce. West Coasters are bandwagoners, and can always find something better to do. Midwesterners are too forgiving and mild mannered. East Coasters, however, love their teams with a passion but will rip them when they do wrong. Their teams are an extension of their city, their neighborhood, even themselves. West Coast fans look at athletes as celebrities. In the Midwest, we view them as regular, good guys. In the East, however, players are all your hopes and dreams wrapped up in a living, breathing package.

I should have gone to Jack in the Box. I could have gotten a Raiders antenna ball. Whoo wooooooo!!!!!

I saw a story on the local sports tonight about a basketball player named Demetrius Walker. Kid is a 12 year old in the LA area that is already 6’3’’. Some people are calling him the next LeBron. How much would it suck to be 6’3’’ when you’re in the sixth grade, live in the LA area, and have people comparing you to the Next Great Thing? Something tells me he already gets laid more than I ever did in college.

While we’re on the subject, why would any athlete not go to UCLA? If you’re going to be a jock, cruise through classes, live off $100 handshakes, and drink for free, wouldn’t you rather do it where you’re sharing the free pitchers with models than with Tammy from Oak Grove?

It took me 150 minutes to travel 75 miles today. I love LA!

I had about two hours to kill in St. Louis Wednesday. St. Louis is probably my least favorite big airport. It always feels like a big, cold cave that is stuck in the 1970’s. Probably my favorite thing is the artificial sky view between terminals B and C. There are fake windows with a view of clouds, as if you’re 29,000 feet up in a Boeing jet. Other than nine-year-old boys, who is interested in this view? Put up a gaudy, fake arch. Paint a mural of famous St. Lunatics. Something to let me know I’m in St. Louis and not Peoria.

It was very odd to be flying near Kansas City and not be landing.

Do any of you remember Sniglets? Comedian Rich Hall made entirely too much money in the 1980s (and earned a gig on SNL) by coming up with funny words that described everyday events or items that caused bemusement and consternation in people. Does anyone know if there was a Sniglet for the first automatic faucet you choose in an airport restroom never working? I’m seriously on a 28-29 faucet streak where I had to wave my hands in front of at least two faucets to get some tepid water to come out.

Speaking of nine-year-old boys and airport restrooms (whoa!), on our way to St. Lucia, we admired the automatic seat covers in O’Hare. Awesome invention! Along with automatically flushing, a new plastic sanitary cover slides itself over the toilet seat. I wonder how many they waste each year because idiots like me and every nine-year-old boy who’s ever walked into a stall there makes it flush five times so we can marvel.

Ode To The End Of Summer

Labor Day weekend, the traditional end of summer. I don’t need a weatherman or astronomer to tell me when summer is over. I know it always came the week the pools close and we had to go back to school (How about these poor kids that have to go back in mid-August now? Add in a general lack of air-conditioning in public schools, and I think you’ve got two grounds for cruel and unusual punishment.). A few weeks back, an uncle who works for a newspaper in New Jersey sent me an article he wrote. His editor asked his staff to all write something about a summer memory. My uncle wrote about the massive garden my grandfather kept for many years, and having to eat all the fresh vegetables my grandmother put on the table each night. Sounded like a good exercise to me, so I thought of what reminds me of summer most. Two words: swimming pools.

I recall a time when summers weren’t full of weddings, moves, honeymoons, and bridal showers. No, not the summer of 2000, but farther back. In the early 1980s, while I was busy absorbing the pop culture of the age, I would retreat for a month or so to my ancestral lands in glorious south central Kansas. For most of the time, I actually enjoyed being away from the city. It was a completely different world, but since I was staying with grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins, it wasn’t entirely foreign.

Summers in rural Kansas were idyllic, storybook times. That may sound strange, but they were simple, which is the required element for a good summer when you’re a kid. I knew I would watch The Today Show and The Price is Right every morning. After lunch, my cousins and I would be dropped off at the pool in town. If we had been especially good that morning, we would be allowed to sit in the back of the pickup as my grandmother drove slowly down the dirt roads. It was a 15-minute ride, and we would quiver with anticipation the entire way in. We’d literally jump out of the pickup as soon as grandma brought it to a halt, ignoring our grandmother’s pleas to behave ourselves and vaguely registering the time she promised to return later that afternoon. The hint of chlorine and Coppertone in the air. The fuzzy sound of the piped in radio station. The heat of the concrete on my bare feet. These are the things I remember immediately.

For the next three or four hours, we splashed almost endlessly, chasing each other around the edge of the pool (but not so fast we got yelled at by the lifeguards), dared each other to go off the high dive, and held impromptu races of varying distances. I also remember trying to use my city kid status to impress the high school aged lifeguards. I was the picture of manhood as I parked my skinny, tanned body next to the lifeguard stand to talk to my favorite, Lauren, for hours at a time. Back then, I thought she saw something in me that could cut through the six year age difference. Now I realize she probably thought I was mentally challenged or otherwise impaired and just felt sorry for me. That’s not far from the truth, since I was generally stumbling around half-blind without my glasses on. There was no lower point that talking to some girl for 50 minutes, only to see her frown when I put my glasses on during Adult Swim so I could count out change to get some Laffy Taffy or a chewy Sweet Tart.

Being the city kid did have some advantages. I was never called away from the pool to help with cattle or to work the fields. I was always conflicted when someone I had been throwing the Nerf ball to on the high dive got called away. I was glad I was staying, but also thought it unfair that 12 year olds were asked to give up their summer fun to help adults. Wasn’t that what all the college guys who moved to town for the summer were for? The fact I had actually been to Royals Stadium and seen George Brett in the flesh made me especially popular among the other baseball fans. Despite all our talking about the Royals, we never dared bring our baseball cards to the pool, lest they be ruined in a run-away wave or tossed into the pool by older bullies.

Between 4:30 and 5:00, we would reluctantly wrap ourselves in towels and wait for our rides back to the farms. On the really good nights, when our grandparents, or some other adults had to go into town, we would eat a quick dinner of sandwiches and root beer floats, then pile back into the pickup for the evening hours at the pool. It’s funny to look back and realize that after spending hours in the afternoon sun, we would get a burst of new energy and think it was the greatest thing ever if we had a chance to go back for two more hours at night. Today, if I’m at the pool more than 30 minutes, I quickly doze off and even then have to sleep extra late the next morning.

Sure, there were negatives to being five hours from civilization. There were only three TV channels, all of which were received with inconsistent degrees of clarity. There was the annual “get the city kid on a horse and see what happens” game, in which I inevitably ended up flat on my ass as the horse galloped away. Some summers there would be a decent radio station within range, others I would be stuck listening to nothing but the Royals in the evening. (The story of when I broke down all kinds of musical barriers in my family, ironically with the Footloose soundtrack, is one for another time.) But all things considered, I don’t regret spending five straight summers in America’s outback, where my only excitement came from spending afternoons in overly chlorinated water.

Today when I go to a pool (a very rare occasion) I worry about if I’m burning, if my gut is too big, whether I can get a lounge chair or not, how loud the a-holes on the other side of the pool are being, and so on. When you’re a kid, though, the pool is your social club, work out facility, and sanctuary all in one. I miss being able to go to the pool with that same lack of care and sense of abandon, not realizing or caring how annoyed people were by me flying off the edge of the pool to catch a poorly thrown football over-and-over. Memories of summer always include Little League, vacations, chasing girls, and the amazing sense of freedom we had. More than anything, though, the swimming pool is what I think of most when I recall the summers of my childhood.

D’s Notes

A few D’s notes to wrap the week up.

Poor Reggie Miller. He signed his two year contract with the Pacers yesterday, and boldly proclaimed that even when he was injured last year, he was better than 2/3 of the shooting guards in the league. There are 29 teams in the NBA. I’m feeling charitable today (And Reggie is old) so I’ll round up and say that means he needs to be in the top ten of shooting guards to back that up. Reggie averaged 12.6 points per game last year. Four of the top five scorers in the league last year were shooting guards (Tracy McGrady, Kobe Bryant, Allen Iverson, and Paul Pierce). In fact, Reggie’s scoring numbers don’t even get him into the top 50 in overall scoring.

Sure, positions aren’t set in stone in the NBA. You also ask, ‘Isn’t there more to basketball than scoring?’ Not at the shooting guard spot. If you rebound or rack up assist numbers at the 2 guard spot, that’s all gravy to the team. Your job is to score, and often. Reggie couldn’t ever play defense, so it’s not like he’s out there still shutting guys down when his shot isn’t dropping.
I think Ed Lilya summed it up best this morning when he said, ‘Ego is a powerful thing when you’re an up-and-coming player’.but after a while, ego is just a bitch.’ Well said.

Even better, the Pacers dicked around so long hammering out Reggie’s contract, and tied up so much money, that Jon Barry chose to sign with Denver rather than keep waiting for an offer from Indy. Let’s reset the Pacers lineup: All NBA caliber power forward (Jermaine O’Neal), role playing center (Scot Pollard), completely insane small forward (Ron Artest), Old Mother Miller at the two guard, and a wildly inconsistent point guard who can’t shoot (Jamaal Tinsley). No proven depth in the backcourt. Lots of ‘potential’ sitting behind the three frontcourt players. Donnie Walsh and Larry Bird better be damn confident about Al Harrington’s health and Jonathan Bender’s development otherwise this team has nothing.

Jason Whitlock beat me to a column about the off-season state of Big 8+4 basketball. Who knew that Larry Eustachy’s mess would completely be forgotten and the Ricky Clemmons situation at Mizzou largely ignored because of what’s happened at Baylor. Is it too late to get SMU to take Baylor’s place? Gives the conference a team in Dallas, plus all the kids from Johnson County who end up at SMU would still get a chance to see KU play every year (although, like Baylor, we couldn’t beat them in football either). Sounds like a deal to me!

Who decided Stuart Scott was worthy of endorsements? The guy is horrible on Sportscenter, NFL Countdown, etc. His exchanges with John Madden last year on Monday Night Countdown were some of the lowest points in TV sports history. There must be some threshold for working at ESPN at which advertisers say, ‘Well, he’s awful, but people have seen him for ten years. Maybe he’ll make them want to buy pain killers.’ The chest bump he does in the Tylenol commercial is classic Scott. Lays the ball up, then makes a big production of it. Dude is like 47 and he’s still trying to convince us he’s 21 and ‘in-touch’. Every time I see him on I Love the 70s or 80s, I immediately switch, because I know nothing of value is coming up.

Now some good TV, to balance that. I was a huge fan of the Daily Show in its first couple years, when ESPN alum Craig Kilborne was the host. For whatever reason, I quit watching several years ago (and have never really watched his show on CBS either). I’ve been watching a lot more lately, and Jon Stewart is a freaking genius. He had two great Arnold lines this week. First, when speaking to young kids in New York (they can vote in CA? That state is screwed up!), Arnold got the kids to say, ‘We say no to violence.’ Cut back to Stewart who stares blankly at the camera. ‘So The Terminator’..Conan the Barbarian says we should say no to violence?!?!’ Later in the week, when Arnold released his first campaign ad and talked about leading California into the future, Stewart said, ‘But what if, in that future, someone is sent back from further in the future to interrupt our prosperity. I don’t know, a robot or a hot chick, or a molten piece of metal that can morph into any shape. How will Governor Arnold handle that?’ The first ten minutes of each night’s episode are always worth watching.

I forget what the line was, but Mike A. put odds on when I would first mention English Premier League soccer, I mean football. Well, Mike, today’s the day. I was watching the Portsmouth-Aston Villa game last Saturday. Newly promoted Portsmouth was hanging onto a narrow 2-1 lead late over traditional giants Villa. The camera focused on a fan in the stands who had both hands behind his head, face twisted with stress, squinting at the clock to see how much time was left. The commentator, in a classic, dry, English manner, said, ‘That’s the face of life in the Premier League there: 90 minutes of pure agony.’ I loved that comment. Erick R. and I have often talked about how sometimes we just like to get KU games over with, so we can relax. Isn’t that stupid? You look forward to a game for a week, then get so tense during the action that you can’t really enjoy it. The English angle was nice as well. Teams move among divisions based on their success from year-to-year in European football (If the Royals were a soccer team in England, they would have been relegated for a decade now). Fans of first division clubs hope their side finishes in the promotion zone so they can jump to the Premier League and play with the big boys. Their reward? 90 minutes every Saturday of not being able to breath nor see straight. Sounds like a good trade-off to me.

Happy weekend.

D’s Notes

Any writer worth his or her salt (and most who are worthless too) knows the power of the random musings column. It’s a way to crank out some work without having to fully develop each idea. The thoughts may grow into a lengthier piece down the road, but the tidbits format allows us to cross things out of our notebook, clear our heads, and move on to bigger, better things (like hog semen, for example). So here’s my first D’s Notes column (the music fans in the audience will catch the reference there).

 Bennifer. I feel dirty devoting any more words to J-Lo and Ben than they’ve already received, but am I the only one who thinks they’re just staying together until their second movie comes out, and then tearfully move on?
 I’m normally a Big Government type to begin with, but I think immediate government intervention in the tuxedo industry is needed. Is there a reason why the three tuxes I wore this summer, all ordered off the same measurements, each fit dramatically different? (Sean M. will say, “It’s because you had similar but slightly different tuxes.”)
 Hope you never get any spy ware stuck on your computer. I spent three weeks suffering from endless pop-up ads, programs that installed themselves, and network interruptions. Spy ware is this nasty stuff that installs without your knowledge, hides on your hard drive, and then bombards you with advertisements. Thank goodness for Spybot, a nifty little program that finds the offending programs and wipes them away.
 Forget about him being a Royal, I hope Angel Berroa keeps playing as well as he has so I don’t have to listen to all the people whining about Hideki Matsui not being qualified to win the AL Rookie of the Year award. Remember when US players used to go to Japan and throw up huge numbers? We always heard, “Well, the Japanese league is like AA or AAA ball here in the States.” Now that Japanese players are coming over and playing well, the tune has changed. “It’s not fair, they’ve been playing at the major league level for 8-9-10 years.” Bullshit, you can’t have it both ways. I heard Rick Suttcliffe say last week that the award was “meant for 21, 22 year olds.” Since when? I guess that means the next time some guy who has toiled in the minors for a decade who finally makes it to the majors and blows up, he can’t win the award? “Sorry, you’re too old.” Until it clearly states that only players under 25 can win it, I don’t care where you played last year, if it’s your first year playing Major League Baseball, you’re a rookie.
 When did Dennis Miller become a Republican? Dude is out there raising money for George Bush now. In the late 80’s, when he was pounding on Reagan and GHW Bush, I never would have expected to see this day come. Sure, he supported Perot, and rode Clinton just as hard as Republicans, but did you ever really think he would become the Al Franken of the right? Makes Al Michaels taking every political comment by Miller during his Monday Night Football stint as a speech for the Democratic National Committee look even more ridiculous.
 A street cleaner came through our cul-de-sac last week. Tax dollars at work!
 There’s a guy posting on one of the KU bulletin boards who’s ID is 4moreFTs. If you don’t understand that, think back to April 7 and it will make sense.
 Since Dave Barry wrote about it, I can’t go into depth, but there’s a thing out there now called the biniki. It’s basically a bra for women’s asses. That’s right, a strap that is supported from above that slides under each butt cheek and lifts, giving a more youthful appearance. It’s frightening what society produces when it’s members have too much free time. Link below, not really nudity, but probably not something you want to read from 8-5 at work.
http://www.biniki-fashions.com/

 Arnold. I love how this is going to play out. Republicans who love him are going to quickly discover he’s not nearly the dream candidate they thought he was. Far to the left on many social issues, in favor of lots of government spending, and defender of Bill Clinton. Guess they either have to forget the bad things they said about treasonous liberals, or realize maybe they were wrong. Then, on the other side, Democrats who have blasted him will be surprised that in addition to actually having a pulse (unlike Gray Davis), Arnold is probably a lot closer to their views on most issues that they think. His anti-communist roots and dislike of the top tax bracket are what made him a Republican, not some great disdain for big government. If he can actually get elected without making any substantive statements on real issues, he’s a better actor than I ever gave him credit for.
 Speaking of the recall, without going into great length, I think it’s stupid. There’s already a movement by Democrats in California to recall Arnold (or any other Republican) that’s elected. That proves how absurd the whole thing is. California is going to turn into Italy, where the government gets tossed on it’s ass each time a large group of people get annoyed by it’s actions. Gray Davis has proven he’s not a very good governor. But I thought we had an agreement: if we elect an idiot, we’re stuck with him/her until the next election. I just hope A) the recall movement doesn’t sweep the nation like term limits have and B) those states that already have recall measures don’t make it as easy to institute a recall as California did. Voting really isn’t that hard, nor is taking the time to educate yourself on the issues/candidates and then forming an opinion on your own. The ballot box is the great protector. Sometimes we’re stuck with people we don’t like, but we always have the opportunity to change leaders at the next election. Supposedly we all hate political ads and endless fund raising by politicians, but apparently not enough to mandate even more elections.

Random

One quick note, before I unload some pile-up that’s in my head. If any of you use AOL’s Instant Messenger, I now have a screen name: DDBinIndy. Shoot me a message sometime if you’re online.

Things on my mind:
In addition to being all whacked out about time here, I think there’s some kind of suspension of normal physics laws in Indiana. I’m only exaggerating in the slightest when I say that everyday a large truck flips over on one of the local highways, snarling rush hour traffic for hours. Not that if affects me, since my morning commute involves walking from the bedroom, down the stairs, and opening up the laptop. As an added bonus, yesterday a truck carrying painters and paint supplies burst into flames near the airport, snarling traffic there for several hours. Initial word had it that someone on the truck lit a cigarette. One person died and 12 others who were on the truck are in the hospital, most in critical condition. I just think something very Stephen King is going on here.
The downtown loop in Kansas City used to drive me crazy. All it took was one truck trying to get down to 45 to make those turns, then attempt to reaccelerate up the hills to back traffic up 10 miles. I thought about one day running for mayor on a rush hour platform: no big trucks on the highways between 7:00-8:30 AM and 4:30-6:00 PM. Sure, big business would use all their resources to trounce me like a beetle, but the momentum would start, my friends! You can’t keep the people down!

I’m working up a rant on preseason football, but it will have to wait until a few of those travesties have been broadcast.

Tour de France: I read Lance Armstrong’s first book while on our honeymoon. A fantastic read. I remember when it first came out and everyone who read it started referring to Lance as if he’s a friend (I’m doing it by calling him Lance). It’s a must read whether you’re into cycling, have any experience with cancer, or not. He’s really an amazing person. I watched more of the Tour this year than ever before. Mostly because it was on each morning and the TV is only 22 steps away. It was interesting to watch the doubters (at times even Lance seemed to doubt) hovering as he failed to stretch his lead to the length of previous Tours. The day he basically won the Tour, last Monday, with his amazing climb that included one fall and one slip, was the day that will be written about in the year-end columns. Is there any better sports metaphor than falling off the bike and getting right back on? He literally does it, and still manages to absolutely crush the will of his closest competitor. I think I watched the entire time trial Saturday, which was terrific drama with the rain and win.
I’m flabbergasted by the people who say Lance and his achievements are overrated or unimportant. First, what better message to the public, who face obstacles like cancer everyday than to beat it and win the world’s most grueling sports event. Five times. Second, I think all the doubters remember the carefree days of riding their bike all day, every day, during the summer. Try doing it for 80 hours over three weeks and 2100 miles, with thousand foot climbs and descents. Then tell me it’s no big deal to win the Tour.

Finally, local sports brief. I’m sure many of you were interested in my reaction to the Pacers acquiring Scot Pollard. On a personal level, I’m excited. There’s a special thrill to watching someone from your school play in the pros. Even cooler is someone like Pollard that you actually went to school with and saw around campus (He used to harass everyone outside my Sociology of the Family class). I don’t feel like I know the him, but I have a couple good stories I can share in a loud voice at games so people around me think I’m cool (not that they don’t already, it just reinforces the impression). Hell, for all the grief I give Greg Ostertag, I still claim him.
However, on a purely basketball level, it was not a great move by Larry Bird and Donnie Walsh. Pollard is an effective NBA player, and when he’s been healthy and started, he’s put up respectable numbers (7 points, almost 9 rebounds a game when Chris Webber missed extended time two seasons ago). I think he’ll work nicely with Jermaine O’Neal. However, the whole reason for the trade was the Pacers’ desire to keep old man Reggie Miller around for one more season, rather than resign Brad Miller. Let’s restate: a washed-up, has-been player for one year, or a young, dedicated, 7’ center who was in the All-Star game last year for the next 6-7 years? The math gets even worse when you learn that the Pacers will probably sign Jon Barry as well. One more time: a brittle, geriatric swingman who can’t hit the big shot anymore, plus a bench player to fill Reggie’s role as the defense stretcher for a center who compliments your franchise player perfectly. If the Pacers are so worried about having Reggie around to put asses in the seats, have Larry Bird walk around the court before, during, and after each game. That should do the trick. All that said, I wouldn’t be shocked if Pollard surprises a lot of people here. Anytime you replace a Purdue player with a KU alum, you’ve traded up.

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