Any writer worth his or her salt (and most who are worthless too) knows the power of the random musings column. It’s a way to crank out some work without having to fully develop each idea. The thoughts may grow into a lengthier piece down the road, but the tidbits format allows us to cross things out of our notebook, clear our heads, and move on to bigger, better things (like hog semen, for example). So here’s my first D’s Notes column (the music fans in the audience will catch the reference there).

 Bennifer. I feel dirty devoting any more words to J-Lo and Ben than they’ve already received, but am I the only one who thinks they’re just staying together until their second movie comes out, and then tearfully move on?
 I’m normally a Big Government type to begin with, but I think immediate government intervention in the tuxedo industry is needed. Is there a reason why the three tuxes I wore this summer, all ordered off the same measurements, each fit dramatically different? (Sean M. will say, “It’s because you had similar but slightly different tuxes.”)
 Hope you never get any spy ware stuck on your computer. I spent three weeks suffering from endless pop-up ads, programs that installed themselves, and network interruptions. Spy ware is this nasty stuff that installs without your knowledge, hides on your hard drive, and then bombards you with advertisements. Thank goodness for Spybot, a nifty little program that finds the offending programs and wipes them away.
 Forget about him being a Royal, I hope Angel Berroa keeps playing as well as he has so I don’t have to listen to all the people whining about Hideki Matsui not being qualified to win the AL Rookie of the Year award. Remember when US players used to go to Japan and throw up huge numbers? We always heard, “Well, the Japanese league is like AA or AAA ball here in the States.” Now that Japanese players are coming over and playing well, the tune has changed. “It’s not fair, they’ve been playing at the major league level for 8-9-10 years.” Bullshit, you can’t have it both ways. I heard Rick Suttcliffe say last week that the award was “meant for 21, 22 year olds.” Since when? I guess that means the next time some guy who has toiled in the minors for a decade who finally makes it to the majors and blows up, he can’t win the award? “Sorry, you’re too old.” Until it clearly states that only players under 25 can win it, I don’t care where you played last year, if it’s your first year playing Major League Baseball, you’re a rookie.
 When did Dennis Miller become a Republican? Dude is out there raising money for George Bush now. In the late 80’s, when he was pounding on Reagan and GHW Bush, I never would have expected to see this day come. Sure, he supported Perot, and rode Clinton just as hard as Republicans, but did you ever really think he would become the Al Franken of the right? Makes Al Michaels taking every political comment by Miller during his Monday Night Football stint as a speech for the Democratic National Committee look even more ridiculous.
 A street cleaner came through our cul-de-sac last week. Tax dollars at work!
 There’s a guy posting on one of the KU bulletin boards who’s ID is 4moreFTs. If you don’t understand that, think back to April 7 and it will make sense.
 Since Dave Barry wrote about it, I can’t go into depth, but there’s a thing out there now called the biniki. It’s basically a bra for women’s asses. That’s right, a strap that is supported from above that slides under each butt cheek and lifts, giving a more youthful appearance. It’s frightening what society produces when it’s members have too much free time. Link below, not really nudity, but probably not something you want to read from 8-5 at work.

 Arnold. I love how this is going to play out. Republicans who love him are going to quickly discover he’s not nearly the dream candidate they thought he was. Far to the left on many social issues, in favor of lots of government spending, and defender of Bill Clinton. Guess they either have to forget the bad things they said about treasonous liberals, or realize maybe they were wrong. Then, on the other side, Democrats who have blasted him will be surprised that in addition to actually having a pulse (unlike Gray Davis), Arnold is probably a lot closer to their views on most issues that they think. His anti-communist roots and dislike of the top tax bracket are what made him a Republican, not some great disdain for big government. If he can actually get elected without making any substantive statements on real issues, he’s a better actor than I ever gave him credit for.
 Speaking of the recall, without going into great length, I think it’s stupid. There’s already a movement by Democrats in California to recall Arnold (or any other Republican) that’s elected. That proves how absurd the whole thing is. California is going to turn into Italy, where the government gets tossed on it’s ass each time a large group of people get annoyed by it’s actions. Gray Davis has proven he’s not a very good governor. But I thought we had an agreement: if we elect an idiot, we’re stuck with him/her until the next election. I just hope A) the recall movement doesn’t sweep the nation like term limits have and B) those states that already have recall measures don’t make it as easy to institute a recall as California did. Voting really isn’t that hard, nor is taking the time to educate yourself on the issues/candidates and then forming an opinion on your own. The ballot box is the great protector. Sometimes we’re stuck with people we don’t like, but we always have the opportunity to change leaders at the next election. Supposedly we all hate political ads and endless fund raising by politicians, but apparently not enough to mandate even more elections.