Tag: news (Page 1 of 5)

Everything is Bullshit

I’m having a hard time with what is happening around this country right now. What frustrates me most is that I no longer have the patience to sit down and hammer out a couple thousand words about what is going on. I’ve tried, but the longer I type, the madder I get.

So in place of a post I would have offered in the past, when I could work through that anger to try to get something coherent to share, I will offer this video from Trevor Noah. Trevor does not get enough credit. I almost never watch *The Daily Show* anymore (or did in the pre-pandemic age). But every time I see him speak about any issue, serious or humorous, I am deeply impressed. And here he offers the summation I agree with most: this is bullshit.

How Shit Got So Bad

Feel free to skip this article if you think the “China virus” is overblown, that it is going to disappear any day, that Democratic lawmakers are using it as an excuse to institute socialism and take away your freedoms, etc.

But if you’re sane, this is a completely devastating reminder of just how royally the president has fucked everything in 2020.

Coronavirus: How Trump killed tens of thousands of Americans.:

Trump has always been malignant and incompetent. As president, he has coasted on economic growth, narrowly averted crises of his own making, and corrupted the government in ways that many Americans could ignore. But in the pandemic, his vices—venality, dishonesty, self-absorption, dereliction, heedlessness—turned deadly.They produced lies, misjudgments, and destructive interventions that multiplied the carnage. The coronavirus debacle isn’t, as Trump protests, an “artificial problem” that spoiled his presidency. It’s the fulfillment of everything he is.

Heartbreaking Times

It is hard to know what to write today. We are in day four of an absolutely glorious run of weather. We got to see a few friends this weekend. The SpaceX launch was very cool. There’s a new wave of openings here in Indianapolis today which is making life feel a little more normal.

But all that is offset by what is going on in our country right now.

Last night Indianapolis was under a 10-hour curfew. We live far from where the violence and destruction was on Friday and Saturday nights, but it was still eerie to have all the restaurants and stores around the corner from our house close early to allow everyone to get home before 8:00. There was some traffic after 8:00, but it was certainly much lighter even compared to the reduced traffic of the past two months.

Indy got off light. There were a couple downtown banks and shops busted open, a few small fires. Minor compared to many other cities around the country.

It was very difficult not to follow the demonstrations around the country and not get emotional about it. Violence, destruction, looting is never the correct path. And I realize it is often two very distinct groups who are doing the peaceful protesting and the more violent acts. But I understand the motivation.

The George Floyd murder was just the latest and most egregious example of law enforcement using unreasonable and deadly force when dealing with Black men in this country. We’ve been seeing the videos for years, and before everyone had a phone in their hand we heard the stories for decades. But far too many white people wrote those stories off as exaggerations or outright lies. Others assumed that there had to be an act before the cameras started recording that justified the police’s acts. I think it’s this third group that bothers me the most. That view supports the idea that police can take any actions they want against a perceived criminal, even if those actions aren’t in proportion to the alleged crime. “Well, he had a criminal past and he was running, what do you expect?”

Plenty of white people sympathized, but none of us did enough to counter the racists, overt or covert, who twisted these incidents into opportunities to give the police more weapons rather than the public more protections. Or the politicians who look at the violence that came after the act and view it as the real problem, not the actions that caused the violence. Or the Thin Blue Line fanatics who forget that in a free society the police do not serve as judge, jury, and executioner out on the streets.

I don’t know what the answer is. It really feels like this country is broken, has been for some time, and we just keep getting worse. Plus we have a president who will use this as a gigantic wedge to anger the people he thinks will get him reelected, who will punish those who need help, who will reward those who took lives, who will somehow place blame on people who have zero responsibility but have the nerve to speak against him. Hell, it’s already starting. We can only hope that it backfires and is yet another epic failure in his presidency that will bring it to a resounding end next January.

As much as I want to believe a new president will change things, I don’t think it will make a huge difference. New elected officials may take over and implement new policies, but you can’t force people to be empathetic, and, as I’ve said before, I think empathy is on its last legs in this country.

It seems impossible for people to look at someone different than them and understand what their lives are like. White people and people of color. Men and women. Citizens and immigrants. Republicans and Democrats. Mask wearers and non-mask wearers. Someone with a different perspective is meant to be marginalized until they have no voice or power. We see it in everything from our legislatures to social media to youth league sports to the line at your grocery store. Everyone seems pissed off at everyone else, and if we can quickly identify a difference between us, we immediately turn it into a racial/political/gender fight.

We’ve told our girls over-and-over that it’s fine not to like people, it’s fine to be upset with someone else’s behavior, it’s ok to think someone is a jerk. But that’s all they are, a jerk. They aren’t a Black jerk or a gay jerk or a Mexican jerk.

I’m a cynic by nature, but I also often believe in a hopeful future. The arc of history bending toward social justice and such. That belief has fueled me through other tense moments in our nation’s history.

I’m not sure we are capable of overcoming all this hate, especially when so many elements of our society seem focused on glorifying our divisions to generate clicks, likes, favs, views, and votes.

I would love to be proven wrong. I would love it if I never see another video of police, or random strangers, killing Black men for no reason. I would love it if politicians realize it is better for our country to find areas of common ground rather than using scorched earth techniques that are focused more on destroying their opponents than governing. I would love it if social media companies didn’t hide behind the false flag of neutrality and took some responsibility for what is posted on their platforms. I would be fucking thrilled if white people in power didn’t think it was bad for business or would cost them votes to protect the most vulnerable people in our society.

Maybe the summer of 2020, which is off to a horrible start, will shake something loose and we’ll find a way to start getting along again.

Sadly, I think things are going to keep getting worse.

Covid Chronicles, 5/5

It feels typical for this stage in life here on earth that anytime there is good news, it is heavily balanced by awful news.

The worst, early hot spots are all calming down. Italy and Spain are taking steps to return to normal. The New York City/State area are trending in a positive direction. Across the US, many restrictions are being relaxed.

All that is countered by the brutal reality that we are likely moving back toward normal too early and too quickly. There is also heavy evidence that Covid–19 is just beginning to attack the more rural parts of the US, where healthcare is much more difficult to come by and, theoretically, its impact could be much worse without a medical support system to aid those who fall ill.

And then there are the numbers. You can choose to follow the model you want to, but they are all changing. And even for those of us who understood that this wasn’t a six-week event, who listened when physicians and epidemiologists and other experts warned of second and third waves, getting a whiff of normalcy only to be battered by the reality that the worst is likely still to come was a tough way to begin the week.

The thing that continues to hearten me is that a majority of Americans seem focused on doing all they can to protect themselves and their families. Most people think localities that are opening are moving too quickly, most Americans are reluctant to jump back into eating in restaurants, shopping in malls, attending sporting events, and doing other things that require us to squeeze many people into confined spaces.

Of course, there is a vocal minority of people who feel the opposite. I’m honestly not sure what to think about the groups who have protested in various capitals over the past week or so. I think some of these people are motivated solely by partisan politics, seeking to make noise in order to support the president and to disparage those who oppose him. I think you could throw out any Trump-approved issue, or subject that they viewed his opponents as using to weaken him, and they would show up with their signs and flags and assault weapons, claiming their freedoms are being threatened. The fact they are arguing against preventing the spread of a deadly virus just makes them look dumber than they normally look.

These people are easy to dismiss as nut jobs.

At the same time, I think there are genuine concerns within these groups that go beyond who holds what office. Moments of heavy government action are also moments that require a vocal opposition. This was true in the Vietnam era. It’s true today.

However, that message is undermined when they, or members of their flock, call Covid a hoax, start resorting to blame rather than seeking solutions, and seem more interested in grinding government to a halt than adjusting the government’s efforts to assist more toward their desired path.

People can be afraid of government overreach. They can be concerned about their businesses being destroyed because of shut down orders. They can feel that their voices are not being heard. They can present all of these grievances peacefully.

Showing up in large groups without masks, calling people childish names, while toting guns around and acting like those aren’t a threat of direct violence on elected officials needlessly complicates their arguments, turning them into emotional shouting matches instead of moments for true political discourse.


Restrictions began relaxing a bit here over the weekend. Indianapolis remains locked down for at least another week, as Marion County in the hardest hit in the state. We did allow M to visit a friend for a few hours Saturday. Then we went to our old neighbors’ for a fire pit that evening. Afterward I realized while the parents were being pretty good about social distancing, the kids were acting like kids: sitting near each other, throwing balls around, sharing phones, etc. After six weeks I think all the parents thought that the kids needed a release. I don’t think any of us were interested in being hyper vigilant about their distancing efforts. Sunday, though, I was re-thinking the entire thing.

I guess I’m likely not alone in that, and many of us will be going through those same mental battles for months ahead. We need to get out of the house, to see people, to do things in order to remain sane. But it is tough to know where the lines are and how rigidly we need to be aware of them. If two families haven’t left the house is six weeks, are we all safe? What about when another kid shows up and we have no idea how strictly her family has been locked down?


Along those lines I was part of a text thread last week that included several parents in C’s class, wondering what everyone’s thoughts were about getting kids together once shelter in place was lifted. The thread began on S’s first day back in the office, and since we had not had this discussion yet, I didn’t chime in until the evening. Throughout the day there were no other responses, either. Once I did share our opinion, mentioning that I had waited to talk it over with S, the rest of the group suddenly came alive. I had to laugh at how everyone was waiting to hear what the doctor said before they said anything. Or at least it appeared that way.


C’s class had an assignment a couple weeks back to send a letter to a classmate. She sent one off and received a couple. M quickly jumped on the idea and sent a whole stack of letters out. She sent so many I had to brave the post office to buy more stamps. She’s received a few back in the mail, had a couple dropped off at the front door.

I thought it was a pretty sweet little moment, as kids these days – kids these days! – don’t really use the postal service for communicating with friends very much.


Two weeks ago I went to exchange our backup propane tank for a full one. I went three places and each was out of new tanks. I did some quick searching online and found that there appears to be sporadic propane shortages. As soon as I got home I ordered a Weber charcoal grill.

It arrived last Monday and I’ve used it twice. I don’t think I’ve used a charcoal grill since college. I have some work to do to get my technique locked in. Despite using a chimney starter I don’t feel like I’m getting my coals hot enough. But I’m enjoying the experimentation. And the added flavor that comes with cooking on charcoal rather than gas.


Finally, after I took my shower this morning and came downstairs, L told me someone had been knocking at the door and standing there for several minutes while I was upstairs. I checked our security camera’s history and saw a young guy did come to the door, knock twice and wait before leaving. He had a logo-ed hat on and was holding an iPad, so I assume he was selling something. Exterminator services love to hit our neighborhood for some reason, so that would be my guess.

My first thought was that it was kind of strange to be knocking on stranger’s doors trying to push a product or service in the age of Covid. But what was really strange was that homeboy was not wearing a mask. I get how it would be creepy to walk up to someone’s door unsolicited with your face covered. But how on earth can you expect a stranger to open the door for you with your face uncovered? He didn’t have a mask pulled up over his hat or slung beneath his chin that could have easily been pulled over his face when the door was answered. Nor did he have one in his hand.

If I had been downstairs I most likely would have ignored him anyway. The lack of mask reduced that chance to zero.

Covid Chronicles, 4/28

A big step back toward normalcy today: S went back to work. She’s on a limited schedule, just two days a week and only seeing two patients per hour, all of whom are age two and under. She’s also not back in her office as it remains closed for the time being. This will be the plan for six weeks or so and then there is a phase 2 and 3 in the works before her practice is completely open again. I think she was pleased to be out of the house again. I woke up before 7:00 and she was already gone. It’s only one step, but it is the first on what should be a long and slow trek back toward the world restarting.


The whole concept of reopening has, like everything else these days, been so completely politicized that it is nearly impossible to have a reasonable discussion about it.

We absolutely need to reopen. What we do NOT need to do, though, is just open up the gates and tell everyone to pretend it is March 13 and pick up where we left off then. The reopening needs to be cautious, planned, and controlled. People need to keep social distancing, keep staying at home unless they absolutely need to be outside the house. Wearing masks and gloves when they shop. Avoiding large groups. And so on.

I get the feeling from the public statements of many politicians that they far prefer the idea of rushing back to normal. Many of them express little interest in setting up a system of testing that is required if we hope to get society anywhere near where it was before the coronavirus hit. Those people are idiots.

There will be a second wave of coronavirus. If we remain vigilant and continue to make individual sacrifices for the greater good, we can put off that second wave and make it more manageable, flattening the second curve as we did the first. If we cast aside all the restrictions we’ve adopted over the past six weeks too quickly, the second wave will arrive quickly and with ferocity. Parents are already sweating the idea of school beginning on time in August. If we start having birthday parties and other gatherings, we can go ahead and write off the fall quarter (if not semester) because wave number two will be burning the country up just when schools are set to open.

There have been many maddening statements and actions by our political leaders over the past four months. Fortunately there have been some who have proven themselves to be true leaders by taking decisive, definitive actions based on science and the desire to protect their citizens, regardless of whether they voted for them or not. The cowards, the fakes, the bullies have been more interested in casting blame, attempting to claim credit for things they had nothing to do with, pandering to their base, trying to distract, and otherwise doing all they can to NOT make rational, reasoned, intelligent decisions.

I’m thankful our governor, who I did not vote for, is firmly in the first camp. He’s held daily press conferences that have been honest and sober. He’s relied on the experts around him and not attempted to present himself on an expert. His tone has been one of caring and concern. He seems guided by a desire to keep as many Hoosiers safe as he can. Most of all, he has behaved like an adult.

He’s been a leader. I’m pleased that he has been in charge, as opposed to his predecessor. His actions this year have likely earned my vote in November, even though I disagree with many of his other policies.


With the politics of this in mind, I have again stepped way back from the news. A month ago I was deep into news, checking a series of websites constantly, listening to the BBC, adding news sources to my Twitter feed. I’ve scaled all that back. I only check a couple news sites a few times each day, usually when I hear that something noteworthy has happened somewhere else. I haven’t listened to the BBC in weeks. I’ve culled many of those Twitter accounts.

All this is an attempt to maintain a sense of sanity. There’s no avoiding so many of the worst parts of the news: the daily death and new case numbers, the afternoon meltdowns in the White House. But I’ve found I can’t do it all day the way I could a month ago.

Covid Chronicles, 4/16

First, some great news. I have not shared here that a good high school friend of S has been in the hospital with Covid–19 for over three weeks. He was in the ICU on a ventilator for over two of those weeks. Based on the updates we were getting, we think he was very close to death on at least two occasions. We know the hospital chaplain paid him a visit three Saturdays ago and believed that would be his final visit.

After this long battle, that included several moments of false hope, he has finally been doing better for the past week, getting steadily better each day. He came off the vent over the weekend. He ate real food Sunday. He sat upright in a chair for six hours Monday.

S has been getting updates from other classmates and his wife. This morning she got a text from the man himself, saying he was about to be discharged and sent home. Absolutely fantastic news! This is a great guy with a big family that has been through a lot already. His kids needed their dad to stick around, and we are so pleased that is the case.

He is the only person we are close to who has gotten this sick. We know of a few other folks who have been hospitalized, but none were in as dire a situation as him. We are hopeful he can fully recover and he is our last friend to go through this.


Now some quick not-so-good news. This week felt like we were beginning to turn a corner. Positive cases seemed to be plateauing in most areas. Although deaths lag behind those numbers and we still have several more weeks of horrific news on that front, the curve did seem to be flattening. Intelligent people realize this doesn’t mean the end is close, but at least we may be seeing the early stages of a positive trend.

What bummed me out, though, was reading several articles that focused on the summer and beyond. None of them were optimistic. There are real concerns about our medical supply chain. Beyond PPE and ventilators, we are seeing a significant dip in the availability of important medicines. There are issues getting medical equipment, supplies, and medicines out of China, India, and Italy. There are also worries about people with other chronic issues being forced to go several months without getting needed, regular, in-person interactions with their physicians.

There are some food supply chain concerns. Several processing plants have shut down because they are overrun with the virus. Delivery services are struggling in some areas to get food from processing to storage to location of sale. In some areas perishables are being trashed because they are spoiling before they can be distributed.

And then there’s the whole “What happens to the virus?” question. We are still in the very early days of this, and while there are dozens if not hundreds of studies in process, the experts can’t yet determine if people who are Covid–19 positive develop an immunity to it. They don’t know what the true infection rate. Combine those two details and you get to an idea of how soon we can get back to normal. If former positive patients develop immunity and the US infection rate is around 20%, we are on a path to recovery. If either we don’t develop immunity or the infection rate is much lower – many physicians think it is more in the 2–5% range – there is no way to get back to a normal economy and society until there’s an effective vaccine.

Although I knew the “good news” was fairly light, it still gave me a glimmer of hope after a month of shitty news. But these long term views, which stretch this crisis out much further than most people expected, was a real kick in the nads. There was always the late spike in the models that allowed for the curve being flattened. But these articles suggested the worst is still ahead of us, and I really wasn’t prepared to hear that right now.

The saving grace to all of this is that we are still so early in this, and know so little about the virus. When dealing with the unknown, in the midst of a crisis, I think scientists tend to default to scenarios that are closer to worst case than optimistic ones. I’m hopeful that the many incredibly smart people working on this will find unexpected ways to keep us safe and allow us to begin transitioning back to normalcy sooner than the darkest scenarios lay out.


I’ve said before in one of these messages that I’m working hard not to judge people who are handling the Covid–19 crisis differently than I am. There is enough pressure in the world without being a dick because you disagree with whether or not to wear masks, whether it was appropriate to shut down schools and businesses, and how long we need to remain in lockdown. We can certainly have those arguments later, when the stress level has come down significantly.

Still, I have a hard time when I scroll past posts of Facebook friends who are pushing back hard against the restrictions we are living under. There are just a few, but they are definitely in my feed, as I’m sure they are in yours. I realize many of them are doing so not because they are bored and restless, but rather because they face serious financial pressures because of the lockdown.

I’ve seen a couple throw out the “It’s no worse than the flu” or “It’s just a bad flu” argument. I want to rip my hair out when I see these posts. Especially since they are often couched as insightful statements based on hard facts despite all the data telling us the opposite.

I have not engaged any of these people. It’s not my place and, again, I don’t want to be a dick. The whole “Well my wife is a doctor and here’s what she says…” isn’t a great look right now. Plus S would probably kick my ass for drawing her into these conversations. She has enough stress of her own right now.

Being a passive aggressive person by nature, I did kind of want to post the chart and article I link to below with some snarky comment about it clearly NOT just being a bad flu. I decided I should not engage people, even passive aggressively.

But I will do it here on my personal blog that gets a handful of views every day, mostly from people who agree with me! Feel free to be more direct than me and post it to your social media feeds.

People who look at this and still say Covid–19 is overhyped are either purposefully being dicks or aren’t interested in getting into the truth of the numbers.


Not Like the Flu, Not Like Car Crashes, Not Like…

Covid Chronicles, 4/13

Well, it is April 13, Easter is behind us, and after a week-plus of fine-to-perfect weather, suddenly it feels like winter again. Currently the winds are roaring, the sky is filled with thick, angry clouds, and the windchill is a nippy 26 degrees. Ah, life in the Midwest!

These last gasps of winter this time of year always suck. Over the past week the trees have all budded out; flowers and ornamental grasses are emerging; and the yard is that almost painful shade of green that comes after some rain, some warm weather, and its first cutting of the year. Everything visual screams spring. And then you step outside. Oh well, soon enough we’ll be bitching about the heat and humidity.


We had a successful, modified Easter Sunday. While we had no direct plans with extended family, we did get almost all of S’ siblings and parents together on a Zoom call. Later we had our own Easter dinner. We had ham – grocery store rather than Honey Baked but it was fine – shrimp, company potatoes. M made deviled eggs. We had a salad. C and L did most of the work on a fancy cake. It didn’t quite turn out like the Pintrest pics but most of the errors were in the parts that I did, so they get an A for their work.


We also had two birthday drive-bys over the weekend. On Saturday we cruised over to the old neighborhood as M’s buddy was turning 16. We ended up hanging out in the street for 30 minutes or so, chatting with many of our old neighbors while casting eyes at our old house to see how much work the new owners had done. Sunday L had a friend turning 12 and we were part of a large parade outside her house.

I love these. It sucks for kids to not be able to have parties, go out to dinner, etc on their birthdays. But these drive-bys will ensure they are special and memorable.


With so much time to waste, I find myself doing a lot of Ebay browsing. I don’t normally spend a ton of time on Ebay. Every now and then I’ll buy something on it, usually for things adjacent to whatever my hobby of the moment is. It’s been years since I’ve sold anything on the platform. These days I find myself looking at golf clubs a lot. My instructor told me to wait to buy clubs until we have my swing more locked in. Who knows when I’ll get to see him again, let alone get out and play. Yet I keep scrolling through clubs I’m interested in, putting ones I like in my Watch List. I’m also spending a lot of time on 2nd Swing and other used club sites. I haven’t bid on anything on Ebay so far. But I have put several clubs into my basket on 2nd Swing and others to reveal their discounted price. I feel like I don’t have much willpower right now and a purchase is bound to happen.


In the real world, the numbers and news seem to be shifting in a more positive direction, even if slowly. In general this is a good thing. Fewer sick people, fewer people dying, less crowded hospitals, etc.

I worry greatly about this news, though. I worry about all the people, encouraged by a large swath of the media and political world, who are using this as an excuse to ignore the scientists and doctors who have warned us about the scale of this pandemic. I worry that the President is going to ignore how the worst numbers were always a long-term projection, not just about April/May, and use it as an excuse to drop social distancing recommendations. I worry that even people who have taken this seriously, who have followed the guidelines for hunkering down, will combine these numbers with their restlessness, with their financial concerns, with their desire to get back to normal, and also will rush to get back to normal too soon.

Outside New York, Seattle, and a few other hot spots, we Americans have been extraordinarily fortunate so far. As bad as our numbers are, they seem to be focused on those distinct areas. Emergency departments in many areas are not seeing the flood of patients they expected. Numbers are trending the right way. But that doesn’t mean this is over. Flattening the curve was never about ending this quickly. It was about giving our health care system a chance to manage the crisis. Part of flattening the curve meant stretching the pandemic out over the course of this year and into next year, when a natural second wave was likely to hit anyway. If we jump back into normalcy too soon, all those worst-case scenarios will come flooding back into the realm of the possible, just in June or July or August rather than April.

This is a deeply sucky time. Until our government(s) demonstrate the ability to manage it properly, we all need to resist the urge to completely jump back into our pre-Covid routines. We may be able to slowly lift restrictions, a few at a time. But the lives we led in February aren’t completely coming back for a long time.

Covid Chronicles, 4/8

One of my memories of April 4, 1988, was what a glorious day it was. Sunny, in the 80s, and perfect. At least in Kansas City. I remember going to Dairy Queen with friends after school and then mowing the lawn in the lead up to the national championship game. It was one of those early spring days in the Midwest that fools you into thinking summer is closer than it actually is.

We are currently in a nice run of similar days. Yesterday it was pushing 80. Today it will again be in the mid–70s. We’ve been able to wear shorts outside for several days. I’ve likely spent too much time in the sun already. There has been a lot of shooting baskets, hitting practice golf balls, taking bike rides, and decorating the driveway with chalk. We even talked about opening the pool, although I’ve put off calling our pool service.

Alas, as I said, these days are big teases. After today there isn’t a single day in the extended forecast where the high will be above 60. Several days it will only be in the 40s. We have several hard freezes ahead of us at night.[1]

These warm days almost make our lockdown tolerable. It’s like being asked to shelter at home in San Diego. With the weather about to turn, and the national news getting worse each day, the next 7–10 days are going to be a mental struggle.


One horrible story I have not shared yet is that a CHS student was shot and killed two weeks ago. He was a junior, so M did not know him. He was also a very good football player, one of the team’s best defensive backs last year who often returned punts and kicks as well.

The story reveal has been rather strange in the local media. The day of the shooting there was a story about it, saying two men were shot and killed while a juvenile had been taken to the hospital in critical condition. No names were given. M quickly heard through the CHS grapevine that the student had died. We assumed he was the juvenile and there were three fatalities.

A day later there was a story in the paper about his death, with reaction from the football coaches, fellow players, and school administrators. There was no mention in the story of his cause of death or that he had even been involved in the shooting incident.

M later heard a rumor that, whatever caused the event, the football player had jumped in front of his younger brother to protect him during the shooting. So the football player must have been 18 and one of the dead adults while his brother was the juvenile who went to the hospital. We have not heard how he is doing.

The school had a drive-through memorial service, where families could drive up the school hill to pay their respects. There was an online service.

Just an awful story in a terrible time.


S and I took a walk the other night around the high school across the street. There were a few kids on the football field doing workouts. As we approached the soccer fields we saw some guys out playing. Just then another car pulled up and 6–7 more guys hopped out. S and I looked at each other, shook our heads, and she said, “Well, maybe they’re all brothers.” Then they started jumping over and crawling under the fence, or squeezing between the gates to get into the fields. She cringed further, worried one of them would get carved up.

As always, teenage boys aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer.


I’ve been out twice this week, Monday morning for a quick grocery store run and today to Costco for the first time since early February. Both times I wore a mask, as that is now the thing to do. When I first walked into the grocery story Monday, the first 5–8 people I saw were all mask-less and I started to feel self conscious. Fortunately as I got deeper into the store I saw more and more people who were wearing masks. At Costco it was probably 60–40 masks to no masks. I was surprised how many employees were working without masks on.

I get that masks can be hard to find. They are uncomfortable. I was at the grocery store right when they opened at 7:00, so perhaps some people thought they could get in and out without needing one. And some people, honestly, may not have heard that the guidance on whether to wear a mask or not has changed. I refuse to judge people for what they do or do not do. It’s an emotional enough time without people giving you the stink eye. I just hope they are washing their hands thoroughly when they get home.

I’m going out more than I should, mostly because I wanted to get that Costco trip in and with it being Easter week we are slowly putting together a menu for Sunday that will likely require another trip out. I’m justifying all these tripes since I seem healthy, I’m wearing a mask, I’m going as soon as stores open and they are not crowded, and I’m getting in-and-out quick. I’ll likely cut way back next week, though. I get nervous about being out so much.


Speaking of masks, I keep seeing people driving with them on. I understand if they are delivery people who are constantly encountering people. But I’ve seen people who live down the street leave or come back with their masks on. Which I think is really weird. If you’re by yourself in your car, you don’t need to wear the mask. Maybe they just worry they will forget to put it on when they get to their destination if they don’t do it as soon as they get into the car?


One thing I keep thinking of is the long-term effects all of this will have on people. Not in terms of the economy, jobs, finances, etc. More in terms of how my grandparents were scarred for life by the Depression. My mom’s mom, who was a farmer’s wife, could not throw out food to save her life. Even if there was a tiny bite of something left, she would pack it into Tupperware and stash it in the fridge. Those little bites served as lunch additions or snacks between meals. Often on Saturday nights she would pull everything out and lay it out across the table, and you made a plate from the accumulated leftovers from the week. She also let me have root beer floats with my dinner on those nights, so as much as I hated having to eat week-old casserole, I kind of enjoyed those summer, Saturday nights I spent at their house.

But those were the scars that trying to survive in rural Kansas during the Depression left.

How will this period, however long it lasts, affect us? Will Americans begin wearing masks more often? Will we, in general, practice better hand hygiene? Will more people keep their pantries and freezers stocked for potential moments of food supply disruption? Will social distancing become deeply ingrained in our society? Will people who are young kids today always be fearful of strangers, as their parents tell them to stay away from people at the park, while taking walks through the neighborhood, etc.?

There are likely long-term effects that we aren’t aware of yet that our grandkids will laugh at us for in 20–30 years.


  1. Maybe that will kill all the wasps and yellow jackets that have been buzzing around.  ↩

Covid Chronicles, 4/2

The latest in America’s favorite new blog series!


Last night I had my first Zoom meeting with friends. Most of those buddies check in here on the blog occasionally – Nez, E$, Sir Dave, The Piddler – and we’ve been texting often. But it was still great to see their faces, have a conversation, and make a human connection.


Yesterday the Indianapolis mayor extended our city’s shelter in place order through May 1. Not a surprise, and I continue to be fine with moving these dates back slowly rather than going ahead and saying “OK, everything is shut down until June 1/July1/2023 or whatever.”

What was upsetting was that as a part of his order he decided to shut down golf courses. I had not gone out to play golf, mostly because I don’t feel comfortable leaving the girls home alone right now if S has to go to the hospital, and I don’t want to drive 20–30 minutes to get to a course when you’re not supposed to be out of the house. However, I had hoped if the weather dried up a bit I could run up to the pitch and putt course that is five minutes away next week. As many folks have pointed out, on a golf course you’re in a wide open space and even if you have playing partners you can create plenty of distance between others. Meanwhile on the walking trails you are constantly getting within six feet of others.

I get how this is purely about optics and it is pretty low on the list of things to worry about. I guess I’ll have to continue to be content to hit balls in the basement and practice balls in the front yard once it stops raining.


Speaking of indoor golf, I did order myself a practice putting mat a few weeks back. I got a model recommended by a brother-in-law and have been spending about 30 minutes each day on it. Hopefully it makes a difference if I can ever play “real” golf again.


This morning S got a call from the St P’s gym teacher. He is a great guy and we had heard he was checking in on other families. He spoke with her for several minutes just to make sure we were all doing ok and that the girls were getting outside. He doesn’t know us very well – thus the call to S rather than me – and when he asked how we were doing she mentioned that I was the at-home parent and she was a physician and has been in the hospital a few days. That elicited a whole series of questions on her opinion of where we are at and how long this will last. I’m sure that info will get passed along the line.


In global news, it is hard not to get bogged down in numbers. There are the numbers of infected/dead across countries and states. Models for what may happen and when they think it will happen. Numbers of unemployed, dollars for recovery efforts, etc. Just so many numbers, and numbers that change depending on what source you look at.

A detail about numbers I learned Tuesday that amazed me was how the daily reports we get are skewered. The Indiana state health commissioner noted that when they say X deaths were reported on day Y, that doesn’t mean X people actually died that day. Some may have died days ago but their positive test results just came back. I never thought of that, and it suggests that as testing gets better/faster that could shoot the numbers up even higher as the accounting of bodies catches up.

Then this morning I read an article that dove into the number of dead in Italy and Spain. It looked at the historic numbers of people who died in a specific area over a specific time frame, compared that to how many dead were reported over that span this year, then looked at how many of those deaths were officially related to Covid–19.

In one region in Spain the historic number was 500, the 2020 number was 835, but the Covid number was only 121. That means there were an “extra” 214 deaths. Some of those, the study said, were marked down as having general causes of death like pneumonia that could be Civid-related but did not have a positive test. Others simply weren’t tested.

If you figure this will be the case across the globe, the final, true death toll will be much higher than the numbers we are getting now. Yeesh, more good news.


I think I’ve said this before but each day is a constant blend of fascination and terror. There’s the fascination of this totally unique world event. As a history buff of holder of a political science degree, both the daily developments and their long-term ramifications are completely engrossing.

But there’s always that terror to balance. Most studies continue to show that a huge majority of people who get seriously ill from the coronavirus have underlying health issues. One study I saw showed over 80% of Civid-positive people who required hospitalization had a chronic issue like diabetes, heart disease, etc. And for the sickest people, those who require admission to the ICU, the number was even higher.

Yet everyday you hear stories of people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s who were otherwise healthy and suddenly got sick and deteriorated rapidly. My first thought is wondering how many of these people had some undiagnosed illness that had already chipped away at their immune systems and prevented their bodies from fighting off the virus. But even then, that leaves a section of people who were indeed relatively healthy and succumbed quickly.

That’s the stuff that scares the crap out of me. I’m being careful in my travels outside of the house. When we take a walk or see the neighbors at the mailbox I am careful to keep a distance from others. I wash my hands often. What if there is already some bomb ticking inside of me, though, that I wouldn’t otherwise have discovered for years that has knocked my immune system down just enough that, should I get infected, makes fighting it troublesome?

This is a minor worry compared to that for S, though. She’s having to go into hospitals and medical offices several days a week. She’s seeing patients occasionally. While in most cases she is isolated from people who have tested positive, by being out of the home and in an environment where sick people pass through, her risk factor is much higher.

The odds are very low that either of us will get sick, and then that either of us will get seriously ill. But those odds are still greater than zero, and the more stories you hear about people here in the US dying, the more you think about the worst cases and all the implications that come with that.

Hey, happy Thursday!

Covid Chronicles, 3/25

I find myself bouncing between hope and despair quite often these days. The numbers from Italy and Spain are so staggering, and our country’s reaction so inept, that it is difficult not to live in great fear of what comes next. But I also know that despite all the issues we have had in preparing for this, America tends to do pretty well at crisis once we can get moving in the right direction. We have tons of amazing scientists working on the problem. The best pharmaceutical, bio-tech, and straight tech companies in the history of man are focused on finding solutions. Whole swaths of our manufacturing base will eventually pivot to fight this. I’m not much for prayer, but I do pray that we get our big, American machine cranked up in time to make a difference.


Indiana officially entered lockdown today. I chuckled to hear that beauty salons were absolutely packed up until midnight last night. I say that because S had her monthly hair check-in a week ago and was thrilled that she got in before things shut down. Especially since she had to film a video for her health network.

We are letting M and C color their hair. I’m not sure what they picked but I know orders have been placed and packages are en route. I’m kind of excited to see what they picked. L wasn’t interested but did ask if she could do a mohawk or something. We think she was kidding but we said absolutely not.

I’ve noticed significantly less traffic on the main road outside our house today, so perhaps people are taking the shut down seriously.

I went out for groceries first thing Tuesday and although it was just before 7:00, it was still strange for there to be so little traffic. It felt more like a Sunday morning.

No issues at the grocery store. I got 90% of what I needed, but that was also because I went to a bigger grocery store a few miles away instead of the ones closer to our house. I did my shopping in 30 minutes or so then got in line. There was a single line for all registers, even the self-check out ones, that stretched about halfway through the store. It took me a little over half an hour to finally reach the register, which wasn’t terrible. People were being polite, although there was very little interaction. I tried to smile and say excuse me to everyone, but most people would mutter something back and not make eye contact.

The entire time I was in the store I kept thinking, “I hope I don’t pick up any germs while I’m here.” I’m not normally a germaphobe but I think we all are now.


I had a little tickle in my throat last week that seemed to go away quickly. Except for there was always a little hint of pain still there, like that warning you get a few days before a cold. I wondered if I was really fighting something off or if it was just nerves. Yesterday I was a little sneezy and my throat began hurting again. Today, fine. Never any Covid-specific symptoms. As bad as spring colds can be, it’s kind of funny that you are relieved if you begin exhibiting signs that are more cold-related. “Sneezing, itchy eyes, sinus headache? Thank goodness!”


A couple times I’ve tried to write about the economic impact of all this. It always ends up being too daunting, though. Because the fact is our economy is fucked, and fucked real good. I like to think that whenever this ends, society will pick right back up and get moving again. I realize that’s pretty naive, though. It is going to be very difficult to get all the gears of the economy turning again, and large swaths of the world will be affected by this for a long time. I also think about these billions and trillions we will be spending in the coming months and wonder where those dollars come from. Eventually we have to pay the bills which is a whole other level of crap to dump on an economy that is attempting to restart.

So from that perspective I have an understanding of what people who are arguing that we shouldn’t kill the economy to kill the virus are getting at. There are likely some ways to split the difference, as South Korea has done, but our country does not seem prepared or willing to take the steps required to pull off that balancing act.

And I, too, have been disheartened by those graphs that show how controlling the coronavirus now likely means another spike or two later this year. Our sacrifices now seem futile if we may have to scurry inside again in six months.

But these people who continue to argue that we should be back to normal in two weeks are utterly insane. Their comparisons to how the seasonal flu, car accidents, etc do not interrupt the economy are so insulting and infuriating. Yes, tens of thousands of people die from the flu every year. BUT NOT ALL AT ONCE. Hospitals aren’t so overrun with flu victims that they can’t see the “normal” sick and injured people.

I am fed up with being stuck in the house. And it’s not been two weeks yet. I get queasy when I look at our retirement accounts. I’m sad that we’ve already cancelled one trip and may end up having to cancel another one later this year. I fear the long-term effects this disruption is going to have on the economy, my kids’ education, my wife’s career, and society as a whole.

But, fuck, look at what is happening in Europe, what is beginning to happen in the US, and realize this is just the beginning, and tell me saving tens of millions of people isn’t worth whatever it costs.

Our political leaders have an impossible task. I trust the ones who are speaking to us honestly, who are focused on keeping as many people healthy as possible, and who understand that while it will be an immense challenge to come back from this, we can’t be measured in response to our immediate threats for fear of what comes after.

« Older posts

© 2024 D's Notebook

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑