Tag: parenting (Page 12 of 72)

A Week Away

Well, we spent a week in Florida. Whether that was a good idea or not, I suppose we’ll figure out in the next 10-14 days. But it was definitely fun to get away from home for a bit.

There were enough mixed feelings hanging over this trip thanks to Covid-19. Then some other shit happened.

We were scheduled to leave early Saturday, July 25. Our flight was at 7:30 so my alarm was set for 4:45. We were pretty much packed and ready, just needed to throw those final few things into the bags, eat, do some final pool prep, and go.

And then our power went out at 3:30. I woke as soon as it went out, which caused a moment of panic that was enough to keep me from going back to sleep. Instead I thought of how I would do all those last minute tasks in darkness, making mental lists to ensure nothing was overlooked or left behind.

I got out of bed at 4:30, found candles and flashlights, and started working. All that mental activity was worth it as we made it out of the house without forgetting anything important.

Naturally the power came back on moments before we left. The girls were in the car and everything. S and I made a quick lap back through the house to make sure lights were off, nothing was lying on the floor we needed, the pool pump had restarted, etc., and then took off for the airport.

The airports were strange. IND had a few shops open but most were totally shut down. We flew through O’Hare on the way to Florida and everything there seemed to be shut down other than the newsstands. We saw a family with a McDonald’s bag but had walked by three McDonald’s that were closed between our gates.

The flights were fine. We flew American, which is now selling every seat, and all four of our flights were almost completely full. I had a lady next to me from Indy to Chicago who tried to not wear her mask. When the staff began circulating to check that folks had their masks on, she put it back on and left it on for the remainder of the flight. Thirty minute flights are kind of cool, by the way. We took off at 7:30, landed at 7:08. Marvin Barnes would not have approved.

With the exception of our flight from Chicago to Ft. Myers, American offered no snacks or beverages to passengers. On that one flight they handed you a small bag as you boarded that contained a tiny water bottle, package of cookies, and a hand wipe. We were prepared, though, and had plenty of snacks in our bags.

We flew home through Charlotte and the food court there was totally open. I’m a little worried if we managed to avoid the coronavirus during a week on Captiva, we may all have been infected while eating our Chick-Fil-A, because the food court was crazy busy.

This trip replaced our cancelled trip to Hawaii, which was to have taken place the same week. So we breathed sighs of relief when we saw Hurricane Douglas was likely to be the first hurricane to make a direct hit on the islands since the early 1990s. For some time it looked like not only Kauai but the exact location we were staying would be where the storm made landfall. Fortunately for Hawaii, the storm veered just offshore. Still, it would have sucked to sit out a hurricane warning in our hotel.

As if to punish us for thinking we were lucky to miss Douglas, Mother Nature whipped up Hurricane Isaias last weekend. The early forecast was for it to head straight for Captiva and show up right about the time we left this past Saturday. Our travel companions were supposed to stay until Monday, but to be safe they changed plans and left first thing Saturday. Naturally Isaias slowed down and changed track, and as I type this Sunday night it will meander up the eastern coast of Florida, sparing Captiva.

This was our third trip to Captiva. It was definitely less busy than our other trips, but we don’t know if the amount of people on the island was normal for the last week of July.

Our house was exactly two minutes from the beach, which was great. We spent most of our mornings and early afternoons on the beach until it got too hot, and then retired to our pool for the afternoon. The house listing claimed we had the largest private pool on the island. Not sure if that was true, but all nine of us could get in. It was a saltwater pool, too, which was a little different.

The only bummer about the house was that we lost both cable and internet access for nearly three days. Add in our Verizon signal being very weak, and it was a little frustrating, especially for the five teens in the house. We had a strong wifi signal and the cable guide loaded, but there was no internet connectivity and no video or audio on the TVs. Two visits from the rental agency repair guys left them unsure of what was going on.

After some troubleshooting, we theorized that the owners of the home, who have it up for sale, may have forgotten to pay their Comcast bill. Don’t know if they didn’t expect to still own the home at the end of July, thought it wouldn’t be rented this week, or something else. But when we suggested an unpaid bill as a possibility to the rental agency, service suddenly came back on a couple hours later.

We were joined at the house by our old neighbors. That gave our girls their two friends to hang out with. M and C shared rooms with their buddies while L got her own room. One day the girls met a group of three boys, who we think were about M’s age. I wasn’t there when the conversation occurred, but apparently the boys first asked C and her bud how old they were. They said 14 and pointed out how they just finished seventh grade. The moms heard this and laughed and laughed.

The other dad and I shot dirty looks at the boys every time we saw them. I was not prepared for my girls to be hanging around boys on the beach in my eyesight. The funny thing was L thought the boys were cool and was as disappointed as the older girls when they didn’t show up one day.

As for the weather on Captiva, it was mostly great. We had a couple very hot days. A couple that were pleasant thanks to the winds. The day we arrived there was a massive downpour just after we got to our house. The next six days we heard loud rumbles of thunder every afternoon, but the storms either stayed over on the mainland, or skirted us out to sea. One day we sat on the beach and watched a massive lightning storm that was 15 miles off shore, safely sipping Corona Lights.

On Friday night we were just paying for our meal at an outside table when a big old downpour rolled in. The ladies and girls all scurried inside while the dads leaned under our table’s umbrella and attempted to scratch our signatures onto our credit card slips. The bummer to that was L left the shark tooth ring she was very excited about at the table as we fled. She didn’t realize it until bedtime that night, which was too late to go reclaim it. She was a little sad about it.

We had some wildlife fun. There were lots of beautiful, bright green lizards in our backyards. Some were tiny, some mid-sized, and we had a couple big boys that were over four feet long. I don’t remember them being this bright from our previous trips. Maybe it’s the season.

We saw lots of beautiful birds at the beach.

One night, as I grilled burgers, I noticed some movement over by the pool. Then a head popped out of the mulch and a four-plus foot yellow rat snake began working its way across the pool deck, looking for some dinner of its own. C used the pool net to rescue a tiny black racer snake from the pool one day.

There were lots of big, fat rabbits scampering about.

And on Thursday we were treated to a dolphin show, as dozens of them hunted for their lunch within site of the beach. A few came in close, one nearly touching my buddy while he floated in an inner tube.

On Friday we rented wave runners to take all the kids out. I had S and L with me. We managed not to tip it over. C was riding with her friend and the other dad, and they tipped theirs over while making a tight turn. Between never having driven a wave runner before, and L being nervous, I wasn’t nearly as aggressive as the other drivers were. It was a lot of fun, though.

It wasn’t Hawaii, but it wasn’t bad.

Did we feel safe? That’s a great question. We ate out four times. Twice we sat outside. Twice we were inside. One restaurant did it’s best to spread people out, limit how many folks were inside, and forced people to wear masks unless they were seated. The other, I’ll be honest, I was not super comfortable at. It is a tiny spot, and every table was filled even though we arrived early. I decided to drink extra to try to ease my mind.

Folks mostly kept to themselves at the beach. People would carve out their space and the next group to come along would set up 10-15-20 feet away.

Like so many things right now, I don’t know what the right set of actions should have been. Was it irresponsible to travel in the midst of a pandemic, especially going to a state that has not handled the coronavirus very well? Was it dangerous to eat inside? Was spending eight hours on planes and 5-6 hours in airports setting our family up to be infected?

Or as healthy people who have been mostly responsible for the past five months, who kept our masks on, who wash our hands often, did all that earn us the leeway to travel?

I don’t know what the right answer is. I tried hard this past week not to overthink things, to not feel bad about doing something fun when so many people are facing economic hardships. To not feel like a horrible person for leaving our home when the smart thing to do would have been to keep our asses at home until next summer.

I turned off all of my news alerts while we were gone. I wanted to check out, relax, and take a break from all the things that have been wearing me down mentally for five months. I would check Twitter a few times a day, and the news headlines in the morning and evening. We paid close attention to news from back in Indy about sports and schools.

In a 24-hour period, the state high school athletics association declared that fall sports were on, pending approval from local authorities. Moments later the Marion County health department put all fall high school contact sports in Indy on hold until October 1. There was an outcry from school officials, a meeting was set up between superintendents/principals and the health department, after which fall sports got a reprieve for two-to-three weeks until the health department can make a better assessment of what is happening with Covid cases in Indy.

On Friday the health department also said all high schools in the county would need to start the year at 50% capacity. I’m assuming this meant a hybrid system like many suburban districts have gone to where kids are in school one day, learn from home the next. Cathedral quickly sent out a message saying that, based on the number of buildings and classrooms on campus, they could have twice as many kids on campus as are currently enrolled. Thus they felt they hit the 50% mark and would apply for a waiver.

We shall see.

As with our trip, I don’t know what the right answer is. I don’t envy those who have to make the decisions. I totally understand families who have decided to keep their kids at home for the time being. I don’t think schools will be terribly safe environments from a Covid standpoint.

But I also know virtual learning, even if improved after months of planning, is a poor substitute for being in the classroom. I know our kids can’t handle being cooped up at home for another six-plus months. While I will be here to monitor our kids, a lot of other children will be left at home without adult supervision, which can only lead to bad things.

But are those concerns worse than spreading Covid?

I don’t fucking know.

As we dropped our rental car off Saturday morning, M asked everyone in the car what we thought our next big vacation would be. All three girls threw out ideas while S and I remained quiet. When M pressed us, we both said we had no idea if and when it would be safe to travel again. Regardless of whether we should have been traveling in July 2020, we know it is going to be quite some time before we can think about taking a big trip again.

Weekend Notes

Some notes from the past few days.


Nephews

We watched two of our nephews overnight Saturday. Number one just turned four, is very strong willed and stubborn, but generally a good kid. He loves to swim at our house, and spent a lot of time in the pool Saturday evening and Sunday morning. I tell you what, there’s nothing better for wiping a kid out than letting them swim for a couple hours. Bedtime is awfully easy when they can barely keep their eyes open!

When his strong will kicks in it always makes our girls laugh. He just does not like when things don’t go according to his preferences, and lets you know about it. He straight up tells you that you can’t do things if he doesn’t want you to. For example, he was getting fussy about leaving on Sunday and when S tried to help him get his belongings together, he started whining, “No Aunt S, I don’t want you to do that!” The beauty of it is that S and I have been through this and take no shit. So we either tell him how it’s going to be, or ignore him, both of which make him even less happy.

It’s kind of fun.

Our other favorite thing he does is how he’s recently learned that boys can pee outside. This may seem obvious to most of you, but to a kid who is being raised by a single mom, it didn’t come as naturally as it did for most boys. But now that he’s done it, he is kind of obsessed. Especially at our pool. On the Fourth of July he was getting out of the pool every 15 minutes and running to our trees to take another leak. Maybe he was drinking too much water, maybe he had a urinary infection, but I think he just liked to pee outside.

Along with this new skill has come the ability to pee standing up inside. That is more a function of him being tall enough to get over the rim and into the bowl. Sunday morning when we were getting ready to swim I asked him if he would go to the bathroom before we put on his swim trunks.

“Oh yeah, Uncle D, I’ll do that!” and he raced to the bathroom. As he ran he said, “I can stand up and hold my penis!”

Shit like that just makes me laugh.

Number 2 is almost seven month old, and just starting to smile and interact with people. He’s a little cutie and generally very pleasant, although a couple weeks ago when I was watching him he dropped a 45-minute meltdown on me. That was whatever the opposite of fun is.

For as cute as he is, he challenges his momma and anyone who watches him by not sleeping for more than 2-3 hours at a time. During the day naps usually last around an hour. At night he still wakes every couple of hours for a bottle. Thankfully S took the boys to the basement Saturday and while #1 slept straight through, #2 was up every few hours. He’s starting to eat some solid foods so maybe that will help him start to sleep longer.


My Golf

I had a very good round last week. I played a tougher course and shot a solid 89. Not my lowest score but, given the course difficulty, likely my strongest round so far. I hit the ball fairly well, although I still managed to put four balls into the trees. But I putted my ass off once I got warmed up.

I started the back nine by just missing a 50+ foot putt from off the green. It kissed the edge and left me with a foot coming back. On the next hole I had a 40-some foot putt from off the green. I barely lined it up, I just stepped up and whacked it, figuring because it was severely uphill I just needed to get it close for my second putt. I took one look, hit it, and watched it roll right in. And on the next hole I had a 60+ foot putt for birdie. Everything about the putt was perfect: the speed, the line, the break I played. The only thing that was not perfect was the Covid pool noodle in the cup. My putt dropped in, hit the noodle, and popped back out, stopping six inches beyond. I had to look up whether I could count it as a birdie or par. Sadly the rules say since it came out, it doesn’t count. But in my mind I know I hit a 60-foot birdie putt and really shot 88. Finally, after butchering my way up the 18th fairway, I dropped a curling, 30-footer to close my round.

A week earlier I had shot 99 on the same course. Ten shots is obviously a significant swing, and given how I putted last week my true score for that course is probably somewhere in the middle. But I sure felt good about my game after this round.


PGA Golf

OK, the Memorial tournament this weekend was fantastic. I always love how the US Open beats players up and makes them look like us weekend duffers. Since we have not (yet) had this year’s US Open, Jack Nicklaus clearly tried to give us the next best thing at his tournament. The course was baked out and very firm. Approach shots that would have stuck or only taken a couple hops and stopped on other tournament courses where bouncing through the greens into thick, gnarly rough.

The beauty of the rare PGA tournaments that take place on courses like this is how it gets in the pros’ heads. Suddenly they seem helpless because their games are so built around being able to bomb and gouge and putt. Few of them have much imagination and/or ability to adjust their game plans for different conditions. And as their confidence waivers, their mistakes get bigger.

Jon Rahm won the tournament thanks to some beautiful golf Saturday that put him well ahead of the pack. But I freaking loved seeing him put one in the deep rough on Sunday, then pitch out only to see that shot shoot through the green and land in the rough on the opposite side. That’s the shit us high handicappers can relate to!

The Fourth

I never served up a summary of the holiday weekend.

Our family from Denver were in town and stayed with us: S’s sister, her husband, and their two kids. It was weird picking them up and dropping them off at the airport, which seemed mostly deserted, at least from the curb-view. Not that IND is often a super-busy airport, but a holiday weekend usually means you have to double- or triple-park when doing curbside drop-off/pickup. This week I had any number of choices of spots right at the curb.

Have to admit it was a little odd having guests from out-of-town right now. It wasn’t something I dwelled on, but there was always that little voice in the back of my head wondering where they had been back in Denver, if they had been safe, who they had been around, etc. I’m sure they were thinking the same thing about us. Now we just hope everyone stays healthy for the next couple weeks and all that worry was for naught. We’ll go through the same thing in a couple weeks when we go to Captiva Island.

There were three family gatherings of different types. We hosted the Fourth of July gathering, which was fine. I think we had 25-ish people here at one point, a decent chunk of which were under the age of five. It was hot and humid, so most non-eating activity was confined to the pool. That’s why we built it.

My brother-in-law and I got out for two rounds of golf. I got beaten up a little, and playing on nicer courses was a big reminder of both how easy my home course is and that my overall game needs a lot of work. I shot 99 and 104, although I felt like I played much better in the 99 round. The big right miss off the tee was in play most of the time, although I was able to tame some of those down to more of a fade than a slice. I’ve been watching videos and reading articles about swing path, exercises to square the club face up, etc. in an effort to get that under control. If I can get more consistent off the tee that will go a long way to being able to both get my scores down and not get chewed up on the better courses. I did enjoy both the company and playing on nicer tracks.

We had planned on taking L and his son to the pitch and putt course Sunday. But L spent a little too much time diving onto a slip-n-slide Friday and her stomach muscles were so sore she could not swing a club. Throw in Sunday being the hottest day of the week and we decided to stay home and make a big breakfast instead. Not a bad decision.

These big family weekends take a lot out of you. I have no desire to cook, shop for groceries, or do much of anything else right now. The heat index pushing 100 doesn’t help. We’ve stretched the leftovers out as far as we can. This morning I made a quick grocery trip and got as little as I had to that gave us a couple dinner options for the next few nights.

And that, my friends, was how we spent our Fourth of July weekend.

Dads and Dishwashers

The dishwasher is a constant source of battle in our house. As I considered it this week, while once again rearranging dishes my kids put in the wrong spots, I realized I am never more of a Dad than when I’m correcting how they put dishes into the dishwasher.

“These can’t go on the bottom rack, they stick through and hit the spray arm!”

“The good knives have to be hand-washed; the heat of the dishwasher will ruin their handles!”

“OK, I know I’ve told you this before, the small plates have to go on this end, the large plates on the opposite. Otherwise you can’t get the bowls in.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that you have to double-up the bowls like this? Otherwise I have to run the dishwasher twice a day.”

“Sure, you’ve been on the high honor roll all year but you can’t put your cups in the right way?”

Before you call CPS to save my children from an abusive home, I will admit most of these comments are in my head. I’ll open the dishwasher in the morning, sigh loudly at how everything is in the wrong place, and spend the next two minutes rearranging while I have these little conversations in my head. By the time my girls roll through the room I’ve either forgotten about their misdeeds or realized there will be bigger things to yell at them about over the course of the day than how the dishwasher was loaded.

Still, you’d think they would figure it out, right?

Weekend Notes

First off, obviously some changes to the site’s look. Big changes, for now. I know it’s a little jarring and I’m not sure if I’ll stick with it, but as I was doing some other administrative work, I figured why not throw up a theme that looks like nothing else I’ve used in my 17-year blogging career? I’m happy to read feedback, good or bad, if you want to share in the comments.

I won’t waste your time with too many details but I changed hosts for the second time in a year. I moved last year to get around some security issues my previous host could not manage. When I made the move, I screwed a few things up royally with the new host and while I was able to fix most of them, a few things I never got right. With the contract coming up, I figured it was easier to make another fresh start than try to deal with tech support.

So onto my third host in about a year. The transition seems to have gone smoothly, so far. The security features I wanted to add a year ago are now in place. I have access to everything I need to have access to. Hopefully there’s not something I messed up Sunday that will show up in a month or two and make this a hassle again.


Onto the weekend, which was all about me.

Saturday was my birthday, Sunday was Father’s Day. Obviously I tore it up.

Saturday morning L took me to over to the pitch and putt course. Well, I drove and paid but it was her idea.

She tried to play with me but got frustrated and gave up after the front nine and just putted on the back nine. It didn’t help that even at 8:00 AM it was already very warm and muggy. She was more interested in running through the sprinklers that were on near a couple holes than actually working on her swing. As always there was one bad hole on each nine that kept me from challenging my lowest ever score. I shot a 67, well off my best of 63. Just couldn’t buy a putt over three feet.
– – – –
After cooling down and eating lunch, L and I got into our big project for the weekend. A couple months back she started asking for a gaming PC. She’s really into Fortnite and has a YouTube channel with one of her buddies where they post videos of their games. She also streams their games. They’re up to 30-ish subscribers, which I think is pretty impressive for a couple of 11-year-olds. She’s learned how to edit video, add graphics, do voice-overs, etc. She’s gained some skills. Plus she’s good at killing virtual people, which is a little concerning.

I thought that she was fine sticking to the Xbox but she made a very persuasive PowerPoint presentation arguing her cause and a month ago we agreed that she could go forward with the PC. She’s taken on a bunch of chores around the house and agreed that when her birthday rolls around and she is eligible for a phone, she will get a cheaper one that her sisters have.

I did some research, found a recommended build list, and have been ordering parts for about three weeks. The final one arrived Saturday morning so we were off to the basement to start assembly. I had a bunch of YouTube videos queued up to guide us and had a general idea of what I was doing. But it is still pretty harrowing knowing that if I screw it up, I’ll have several hundred dollars of useless electronic gear staring back at me.

We hit a couple snags along the way that cost us about an hour. There are two cables that we never figured out how or where to connect. I spent a good 30–40 minutes trying to figure them out and eventually gave up. Turns out they aren’t needed because eventually everything worked fine.

The first time we flipped the power switch nothing happened, which next to sparks and an electrical fire is about the worst outcome. Fortunately after a quick review of some wiring, I realized I had connected the main power switch to the wrong pins on the motherboard. I clipped them to the right spot, flipped the switch, and the fans kicked on and the RGB lights lit up. But we had no video, our monitor a black rectangle.

I troubleshot on Google. I checked connections. I was getting seriously concerned that the most expensive piece of hardware in the case, the graphics card, was defective. But it was L who realized that I had connected the monitor to the main I/O HDMI port rather than to the HDMI port on the graphics card. I swapped them and – voila! – we had video.

It took another hour or so to download new drivers, make a Windows installation disk, and get the operating system installed. But before dinner L was downloading all the software she needs for her gaming. Between dinner and my annual birthday cheesecake, she was playing Fortnite on her new rig.

I’m pretty pleased that we pulled it off. It’s not super difficult, but as my issues with the power switch showed, simply putting the wrong cable in the wrong spot can throw the whole build off.

Not sure if there are any gamers out there, but her rig contains the following components:
MSI B450 Gaming Plus Max AM4 motherboard
16 GB of RAM
AMD Ryzen 5 3600 CPU
Deepcool GAMMAXX 400-CPU Cooler
Sapphire Radeon Pulse RX 5600 XT Graphics Card
All in a Phanteks Eclipse P360X case

She also cashed out some money and bought a fancy gaming keyboard and mouse.

She seems pretty happy. Now we just need her to start collecting some of that sweet YouTube ad revenue to make this worth it!

Why build vs buy, you may ask? Well, when it comes to gaming computers, who can be a lot more cost effective if you pick and choose components and put it together yourself. This was probably 60–70% the cost of an equivalent assembled gaming rig, and comes without any bloatware to slow it down. The big downside is there’s no warranty on the final, assembled product and any errors in construction are all on you.


Oh, and the girls enjoyed asking me, “Sooooo, how does it feel to be in the last year of your 40s?” over and over while giggling. Did not love that part of the weekend.


Sunday was pretty chill. It was rainy here so we didn’t ever open the pool. We needed the rain so that was fine. I read some. Worked on updating the site. Took the cardboard we’ve accumulated over the past three months to the recycling. After dinner – grilled steak and chicken, although sadly on the gas grill rather than charcoal because of the rain – the girls took me out for ice cream. It was a big moment: the first time M drove the entire family somewhere. C and L tried very hard to remain quiet but about two blocks from home they got the giggles and couldn’t stop. M did just fine. Then S and I watched “Knives Out” and enjoyed it.

Pretty, prettyyyy, prettyyyyyyy solid weekend. Hope the other fathers out there had good weekends, too.

Roughin’ It

It’s been a few days. A couple of you checked in – which I appreciate – and all is well. The girls and I spent a few days out in the wilderness. OK, that might be overstating it a bit, but here’s a breakdown.

We went with our old neighbors to Turkey Run state park, about two hours east of Indy, Wednesday afternoon through Friday morning for camping, hiking, and tubing. It was the two dads and five girls; moms stayed home and worked. Their family are all experienced campers. Ours? I last camped in the summer of 1984 and my girls had only camped in backyards.

We had absolutely tremendous weather. When we arrived at the campsite and began setting up, we were still on the backside of TS Cristobal, with a few occasional sprinkles, lots of heat and humidity, and very strong winds. Our campsite was protected but the wind did make it tough to sit by the fire, as the smoke whipped around.

L and I shared a tent, the other four girls shared a large tent, and Mr. P had a solo tent. We had an air mattress in ours because my old-man back can’t take sleeping on the ground. Sometime around 1:00 AM Thursday morning I heard strange noises. Near my head. We had seen a raccoon before we went to bed and apparently it brought some friends and they were scampering about our campsite. A couple were being very chatty just outside our tent. It freaked me out a little and I started hitting the side of the tent with my pillow. That scared the raccoons, who shrieked and ran away. And that pretty much ruined sleep for me as I thought every noise signaled their return and I checked that we were zippered inside for the 100th time.

Thursday morning the heat and humidity and wind broke. It was a cool, clear, calm day, and just gorgeous for hiking. We hiked for about three hours, knocking out the toughest trails in the park. We got out before the crowds so we were able to stop and enjoy the views, which were beautiful. Everyone I’ve talked to about Turkey Run says the same thing: you can’t believe you’re in Indiana. Most of the trails are in canyons carved out by glacial melt and ancient rivers. They are filled with waterfalls and gorgeous rock collections. Even the toughest trails weren’t super technical, although we were all feeling them in our legs when we made the last couple climbs.

Back to the campground for lunch then we took a three-hour tube float down Sugar Creek. There wasn’t much current, and the wind was often against us, so it was a rather lazy float, which was a fine way to recover.

We figured everyone would conk out early that night between the lack of sleep the previous night and the day’s exertions. Most of us were still awake at 11:00 when we began to drift to our tents. I slept like a baby for about two hours until some fools a campsite or two down decided to get loud. Several of them were talking and laughing loudly. They were also chopping wood. Not cool. Most of us drifted in and out of sleep all night thanks to the noise.

We had planned on doing another hike Friday morning but the girls lacked energy so we made breakfast and returned home.

My girls did well and really enjoyed it. It helped a lot to have almost perfect weather. It also helped that we had electricity, there were bathrooms, and even showers. The showers were kind of nasty so after the first two girls made a trip over the rest of us avoided them. They enjoyed hanging out with their friends and trying something new. My friend has every piece of camping gear you would ever need, so cooking was easy and we had some terrific meals. He also knew to lock down all our coolers at night so the raccoons couldn’t get in.

Thursday C and her buddy slept in hammocks, and made it all night in them. They did forget to take the trash bag to the dumpster, though. It was hanging on the same tree that held one side of their hammocks. At some point my friend heard a noise, peaked out from his tent, and saw a raccoon on the tree digging through the trash, just a couple feet from his daughter’s head. He chucked a water bottle at it and took the trash away. Neither his daughter nor C had any clue until he told them about it in the morning.

A pretty successful couple of days outside suburbia for us. I think S would enjoy the hiking but she would not like the actual camping part of it. So if we return it will likely be dads and daughters again.

Lazy Days Already

Just a couple weeks in and we’ve already entered the lazy days of summer. Swim most days. Have some family or small group of friends over on the weekends. Hope it doesn’t rain yet complain when it’s too hot.

That happens quick when there’s no place else to go. S popped into the nearest mall one day last week to return a few things and said maybe half the stores were open. Despite everyone being sick of being cooped up, she said there were not many people there. I don’t think our girls are interested in going to the mall anyway, but it would be nice if you could go wander around for an hour or so.


We’ve also reached high anxiety time for our summer vacation. We are supposed to go to Hawaii in late July. As of the moment I’m typing this, the islands remain relatively closed to outside travelers. We could go, but we would be forced to quarantine for two weeks. Which kind of defeats the point of taking a one-week trip.

S called our resort yesterday and they cheerful told her that they anticipate re-opening in the middle of July. However, from all we’ve read, it sounds like the islands will not open up to mainland travelers first, but rather only allow in visitors from Asian and Pacific countries that have Covid under control.

We are still hoping that something changes. But I woke up today to an email from American Airlines saying our flights between the mainland to Kauai have been cancelled. I checked and there are some other flights available the same days but I don’t know if those will soon get wiped out, too.

I’ve been very torn about whether to go. It would be easy just to re-book for next summer and hope the world is in a better place then. But as of now our hotel rooms are not refundable so we’ve stuck to “If they’re open, we’re going.” I imagine we could finagle either a re-booking or cancellation given all that’s going on, but we want to push that out as long as we can.

We’ve been looking at backup plans, mainland travel that would put us on a beach where we can just post up and not have to deal with too many crowds. Those spots are not easy to find, as I’m sure many of you know. I’ve been making the joke that we will end up at the resort down in French Lick, IN. They do have a couple world-class golf courses, but I don’t think that would be viewed as a suitable replacement for Hawaii by the rest of the family.


The girls and I are going camping with our old neighbors (they are going to Hawaii with us, too) for a couple nights this week. I’ll fill you in on that after we get back, but this will be the girls’ first ever official camping outing. They’ve done some backyard camping but never at a campsite where there’s not a house to run into if it rains or they get skittish. I don’t think I’ve properly camped since about 1984, so it’s not like I’m some expert. Once today’s rain passes through it looks like it will be a gorgeous couple of days, with highs in the 70s and the humidity disappearing. We’re all looking forward to it.


The final piece of news for this post is that my tenure as kickball coordinator at St. P’s came to an end last night. Four years was enough and my successor, a friend of mine who coaches L’s class, was officially voted in. It was a pretty good four years. Not too much drama (there was that one game in the spring of 2018…), some pretty successful teams, and I made a lot of good friends in the parents who coached for me. I will help coach C’s team in the fall, assuming there is a fall season, and then officially be done with youth kickball.

Memorial Day Weekend Notes

Holiday number two of the Coronavirus era has come and gone. Memorial Day weekend was especially strange here in Indianapolis since there was no 500 mile race to dominate local events. The race has been pushed back to August, for now. But the month of May is the biggest month of the year in Indy, and the last three weeks have felt extra empty without all the race prep and coverage. Even as someone who is not a race enthusiast, my nearly two decades here has made the rhythms of May feel like an essential part of the beginning of summer.

It would have been a fine race day, too. Warm, humid, pop-up storms on the radar but which never threatened Speedway.


We spent much of the weekend in the pool. It has been warm enough so that the heater stays off and the water remains at the perfect temperature. A few friends of the girls rolled in and out over the past few days.

We also hosted a family gathering Saturday, which also served as a fourth birthday party for one of the nephews. We did get storms that afternoon, and had to rush everyone out of the pool and gather all our toys before the rains hit. Fortunately the boys all got to swim for an hour or so before they had to get out.


C and L are officially done with school for the year. I have to admit I wasn’t sure what day was their final day. There was a virtual field day built into the schedule, assignments for the last week were kind of sparse to begin with, and I think we had all checked out long before whatever the actual last day was. I would mock my parenting but I think most of us are in the same boat: let’s just get this year over with and, hopefully, find some normalcy in the fall.

We did get confirmation that Cathedral plans on beginning classes on time and in person in August. I would imagine days will not be the same as they were in early March, but the school has not shared any details about what protections/restrictions/requirements will be in place. M was excited to hear that she will be back on campus in three months, though.


We’ve had a mostly benign but annoying development over the past month at our house. Right above L’s room, where several sections of the roof come together, there are two small sheltered spaces. With the way that the roof falls, while they are outside our attic space, they are also above the ceiling of L’s room. Each of those spaces have become home to nests. One of them is full of baby birds. These birds wake up at about 5:30 every morning, squawking for their breakfast and rattling around in that space. L is an early riser, but 5:30 is a little early even for her. Worse, with the heat of the past week, we’re getting some odor into her room. A nest full of growing, shitting and pissing birds does not smell good.

The big issue is that the nests are beyond the reach of my extension ladder. There is a secondary roof about 10 feet up that, if I had the right equipment, I could get up to and place another ladder on to get at them. But I’m not about to hoist one ladder up another and then hope it remains in place while I fight off momma bird to stick my hand in and yank out the nest.

So looks like I’ll be having some critter control service out soon to both eliminate the nests and seal off those openings to avoid future issues.

We’ve also had a nest right outside our bedroom for over a year. It is wedged in between the gutter downspout and the siding, and actually bothers M more than us because of how her room and our room are positioned. We’ve had three sets of baby birds in it over the past year. I may go on a nest jihad and remove it once its babies have flown away.

Throw in some rabbits, lots of squirrels, a pair of ducks, bluejays, sparrows, robins, grackles, various finches, and as many as 20 geese at one time, and our property has quite the wildlife presence!

Covid Chronicles, 5/19

I’m not sure if it is time to transition the title of these assorted notes posts back to how I labelled them before March. Not everything in these is about what is going on with Covid anymore. At the same time, our lives are going to continue to be pretty boring for some time and much of what I share here will be affected, at least indirectly, by the state of the world. So for now they will remain Covid-tagged.


Sunday was C’s 14th birthday, which gave us a chance for our first quarantine celebration. We had some friends and family drive by to honk, wave hello, and toss gifts to her. We were dodging rain all day but it worked out pretty well.

After that we had our old neighbors over for a dinner celebration. The girls all got into the pool. Pools are safe! Or at least that’s what the initial studies suggest. I might be cranking up the chlorine level a notch or two higher than normal just to make sure. If we could just keep everyone from getting too close from each other when they aren’t in the pool. Both M and L had a friend over to swim on Saturday, but there was plenty of other hanging out during those visits.

Again, we’re going to have months of stress about what the proper way to socialize is. I tend to think small groups are ok, but should we be masking everyone up while we’re together? When we were running M’s friend home Saturday we passed a backyard party where everyone was seated six feet apart. If only kids understood social distancing with friends as well as they do with strangers.


As I said, the pool is open. It took until Saturday for the water to get up around 90 degrees where we like it. But it was warm enough Friday evening that the girls all jumped in for awhile. Now if we could just get this stupid cut-off low to pass us so the nice weather of last week could return.

We had a bunch of lawn restoration work done last week, right before the rainy weather hit. I’m really hoping the deluge of the past seven days hasn’t rendered all the new grass seed unable to germinate.


I recorded Sunday’s charity golf match that featured Rory McIlroy, Dustin Johnson, Rickie Fowler, and Matthew Wolf. I was glad I recorded it because it allowed me to fast forward through the many slow spots. Even with the FF button in high use, it certainly had stretches where it was veeeeeerrrrry slow.

I was most excited to see Seminole Golf Club on TV. It has never hosted a televised event before, and the golf architecture geeks I follow think it’s an amazing course. One of those experts says it is a near ideal course because if you are a good-to-elite player it will really challenge you, while if you’re just a normal player you will have a good chance to shoot what you do on your home course. Not that I’ll ever have a chance to play it, but that was a comforting thought.

Sadly much of what makes people love the course doesn’t really translate to TV, and the broadcasting crew didn’t go out of their way to explain what is so cool about the course.

The golf was kind of crappy, too. You could tell the guys were rusty. DJ barely looked interested. And using the Skins format just doesn’t generate a lot of excitement. But Skins is easy to understand and made sure both teams earned some money for their charity of choice, so I understand the decision.

The broadcast was mixed. You have to grade on a scale, because this was done with a short lead-up, a limited production crew, on a course not designed to make TV easy. I think they could have used a few more cameras. I heard they had six. I think they could have put in some more that were fixed at tee boxes and greens that would have allowed them to miss fewer shots. Not having shot tracer for every tee shot was a big miss. And there were some issues with the announcers being in three different locations. The Bill Murray interview was flat bizarre and difficult to watch. I muted the entire time a certain politician called in. Jon Rahm was a pretty good interview, and I could have used more of him. That said, with so much dead time to kill as they players moved between shots, I think they could have spaced out these conversations better so they weren’t talking over the action.

Everyone involved gets credit for making the attempt, though. It was good to have some live sports on, even if flawed.


I finished The Last Dance last night. I think I’ll need to break my thoughts on it out from my monthly media list and share them here soon.


M wrapped up her freshman year last week. Unless something changes before final grades are posted, it looks like she carried a 4.21 GPA through all four quarters. Pretty good! I’m glad she’s tapped into her mom’s academic genes. I never got straight A’s in high school because of 1) math and 2) I was lazy. She was the only student in her English class to get an A on her research paper without having to re-write it, so maybe she got some of my skills, too.

She knows her sophomore year will be tougher. She’s adding three honors classes to her load, but they are all liberal arts rather than science courses, so I think she’ll do fine. She’s excited to be taking photography. I may be as excited about that as she is.

Now we just start hoping that her sophomore year is mostly normal. We are hearing rumors from other schools about mixed plans that may involve kids coming into school in rotations/waves, so only a certain percentage of the student population is in the school at the same time. I don’t see how that helps the teachers and staff, though, who will need to be at school daily. Perhaps they will be in masks and other protective measures will be take.

I kind of laughed that M said she was bored last week, when she still had a couple days of class left. I wanted to say, “Wait until next week when you have nothing to do at all!” Saturday she asked us, “What can we do today?” Normally that means where can we go to shop/eat. It was hard not to snap at her, “We literally can’t go anywhere!”


We found out last week that St. P’s will be making some adjustments in the fall. All we know is that instead of a 6th–8th middle school group, the 7th and 8th graders will now be considered middle schoolers while the 5th and 6th graders will be labeled as “intermediate” students and sharing teachers. We’re not sure what the mechanics of that will be, especially since those four grades, along with the fourth graders, all share a hallway. S guessed, based on what she’s heard from other schools, is that they may adjust how the classes change periods, have lunch, etc so fewer kids are in the hallway at one time. But we’ve received no details yet, so we’re not sure.

I know I do not envy school administrators right now. No plan seems like a good plan. I know private schools are facing pressure to have kids back in real class. We’ve heard several parents say “I’m not paying X-thousand dollars for an entire year of eLearning.” Which I totally understand. This pressure comes on top of knowing you’re probably going to lose some students because their families can’t afford private school tuition due to personal financial issues. It’s just a damn tough time.

L is not excited at all about the changes. There were a couple teacher changes that came with this reorganization and she may have to spend time with two teachers she doesn’t like very much while two she was hoping to get have moved away from her grade. She’s lived a charmed life with teachers, always getting the one she wanted and generally getting along well with them. She needs to toughen up and get over it!

Covid Chronicles, 5/13

I’ve felt a lack of enthusiasm and motivation the past few days. School is winding down. M is done Friday. C and L are done next week. Assignments have already dried up and they’re just running out the clock. A few teachers seem to have checked out, too, which makes it tough to motivate the girls.

The news has devolved further, making me less and less interested in paying attention to what’s going on, and making my blood pressure rise when I do check in. I’ve starting to clear out my Twitter feed of some accounts that I very much enjoy and inform me simply because the stories they share are so infuriating.

The weather doesn’t help. This has been a wacky spring, full of swings back-and-forth. Which is what Midwest springs are supposed to be. But they’ve seemed especially wild this year simply because the nice days feel like moments of bliss and relief while the nasty days you can feel the walls creeping in on you.

Fortunately some of that may be changing. After today, we appear set for a long stretch of days near 80. It will likely rain several of those days, but at least it will be warm.

The crew was just here to open the pool. I’m guessing the girls will be jumping in the moment the heater has run long enough to make the water tolerable. It was 57 degrees last time I checked, so it may take awhile to get there.


L had a quick get together with her class Monday at a park. The motivation was so they could present their teacher with her year-end gifts and get a chance to see each other. Despite the cold, damp, raw day, we spent nearly 90 minutes there, mostly because all the parents were talking. The parents did pretty well with the social distancing. I’m not sure the kids did.

I think I mentioned this last week but every moment like that comes with very strong, mixed feelings. And then after the fact you wonder if it was worth it. It seems like being outside is the best way to safely interact with others, so I’m not super worried about it. This does seem to be how things are going to be for the foreseeable future, though: trying to balance safe and sane, hoping for the best in the process.


Normally S does not watch a lot of TV. Her evenings, in the past, were generally filled with hours of charting. She would come home, eat dinner, crack open the laptop, do one to four hours’ worth of charting, then go to bed. She has one show she watches, Outlander, and she’ll run through those seasons pretty quickly after they drop then re-watch them. There’s the occasional movie but otherwise she is not in front of a screen for fun very often.

Until the past two months. She has been extraordinarily busy at times, some days filled with 12 hours of conference calls and associated work. But she also has almost no charting and, after those first 2–3 weeks, the calls slowed down and actually left her with free time. (Worth mentioning that the calls are picking back up as her system tries to figure out the reopening process. This may be more stressful than the shutting down process as management is pushing for changes that no one seems happy about.)

That’s a long lead in to sharing how I think she’s watched more TV than any of us during this break. She’s plowed through a bunch of shows and movies. Most nights, and some afternoons, you can find her with her laptop and my headphones, laughing at whatever is currently amusing her. Often she’ll try to go to bed but can’t shut her brain off. I’ll come up an hour or so later to find her in bed, watching a show on her phone in the dark.

This break has sucked for all of us, but she’s had the most stress and responsibility throughout. I’m glad she’s found an outlet that allows her to check-out for a bit and actually have some fun.


Amazon delivery seems to be approaching normal again. There are still regular items that seem to be taking more like a week to show up, but more and more things show a delivery window within a couple days.

I’ve started gaming the system a little. Whenever I have a chance, I’ve been taking the second tier of free delivery that pushes arrival back a bit, but offers a credit for digital services in exchange. If I’m going to be buying more Kindle books than normal, I might as well collect some coupons to reduce that cost!


Indianapolis/Marion County just announced phase one of their reopening process. Restrictions begin lifting Friday. Restaurants can reopen to outside seating only next Friday. Man, I have no interest in being inside a restaurant any time soon. Not sure I even want to sit outside of one. I feel a little bad about that. The restaurant business is a tough one in good times. I’d like support locally owned places and their staffs by getting food and drink from them, tipping the wait staff, etc. I am not keen to be in any enclosed space with a bunch of strangers, though. I think we will be sticking to carryout for quite some time.

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