Tag: parenting (Page 13 of 73)

Covid Chronicles, 5/13

May 13, 2020 / DB

I’ve felt a lack of enthusiasm and motivation the past few days. School is winding down. M is done Friday. C and L are done next week. Assignments have already dried up and they’re just running out the clock. A few teachers seem to have checked out, too, which makes it tough to motivate the girls.

The news has devolved further, making me less and less interested in paying attention to what’s going on, and making my blood pressure rise when I do check in. I’ve starting to clear out my Twitter feed of some accounts that I very much enjoy and inform me simply because the stories they share are so infuriating.

The weather doesn’t help. This has been a wacky spring, full of swings back-and-forth. Which is what Midwest springs are supposed to be. But they’ve seemed especially wild this year simply because the nice days feel like moments of bliss and relief while the nasty days you can feel the walls creeping in on you.

Fortunately some of that may be changing. After today, we appear set for a long stretch of days near 80. It will likely rain several of those days, but at least it will be warm.

The crew was just here to open the pool. I’m guessing the girls will be jumping in the moment the heater has run long enough to make the water tolerable. It was 57 degrees last time I checked, so it may take awhile to get there.

L had a quick get together with her class Monday at a park. The motivation was so they could present their teacher with her year-end gifts and get a chance to see each other. Despite the cold, damp, raw day, we spent nearly 90 minutes there, mostly because all the parents were talking. The parents did pretty well with the social distancing. I’m not sure the kids did.

I think I mentioned this last week but every moment like that comes with very strong, mixed feelings. And then after the fact you wonder if it was worth it. It seems like being outside is the best way to safely interact with others, so I’m not super worried about it. This does seem to be how things are going to be for the foreseeable future, though: trying to balance safe and sane, hoping for the best in the process.

Normally S does not watch a lot of TV. Her evenings, in the past, were generally filled with hours of charting. She would come home, eat dinner, crack open the laptop, do one to four hours’ worth of charting, then go to bed. She has one show she watches, Outlander, and she’ll run through those seasons pretty quickly after they drop then re-watch them. There’s the occasional movie but otherwise she is not in front of a screen for fun very often.

Until the past two months. She has been extraordinarily busy at times, some days filled with 12 hours of conference calls and associated work. But she also has almost no charting and, after those first 2–3 weeks, the calls slowed down and actually left her with free time. (Worth mentioning that the calls are picking back up as her system tries to figure out the reopening process. This may be more stressful than the shutting down process as management is pushing for changes that no one seems happy about.)

That’s a long lead in to sharing how I think she’s watched more TV than any of us during this break. She’s plowed through a bunch of shows and movies. Most nights, and some afternoons, you can find her with her laptop and my headphones, laughing at whatever is currently amusing her. Often she’ll try to go to bed but can’t shut her brain off. I’ll come up an hour or so later to find her in bed, watching a show on her phone in the dark.

This break has sucked for all of us, but she’s had the most stress and responsibility throughout. I’m glad she’s found an outlet that allows her to check-out for a bit and actually have some fun.

Amazon delivery seems to be approaching normal again. There are still regular items that seem to be taking more like a week to show up, but more and more things show a delivery window within a couple days.

I’ve started gaming the system a little. Whenever I have a chance, I’ve been taking the second tier of free delivery that pushes arrival back a bit, but offers a credit for digital services in exchange. If I’m going to be buying more Kindle books than normal, I might as well collect some coupons to reduce that cost!

Indianapolis/Marion County just announced phase one of their reopening process. Restrictions begin lifting Friday. Restaurants can reopen to outside seating only next Friday. Man, I have no interest in being inside a restaurant any time soon. Not sure I even want to sit outside of one. I feel a little bad about that. The restaurant business is a tough one in good times. I’d like support locally owned places and their staffs by getting food and drink from them, tipping the wait staff, etc. I am not keen to be in any enclosed space with a bunch of strangers, though. I think we will be sticking to carryout for quite some time.

Covid Chronicles, 5/5

May 5, 2020 / DB

It feels typical for this stage in life here on earth that anytime there is good news, it is heavily balanced by awful news.

The worst, early hot spots are all calming down. Italy and Spain are taking steps to return to normal. The New York City/State area are trending in a positive direction. Across the US, many restrictions are being relaxed.

All that is countered by the brutal reality that we are likely moving back toward normal too early and too quickly. There is also heavy evidence that Covid–19 is just beginning to attack the more rural parts of the US, where healthcare is much more difficult to come by and, theoretically, its impact could be much worse without a medical support system to aid those who fall ill.

And then there are the numbers. You can choose to follow the model you want to, but they are all changing. And even for those of us who understood that this wasn’t a six-week event, who listened when physicians and epidemiologists and other experts warned of second and third waves, getting a whiff of normalcy only to be battered by the reality that the worst is likely still to come was a tough way to begin the week.

The thing that continues to hearten me is that a majority of Americans seem focused on doing all they can to protect themselves and their families. Most people think localities that are opening are moving too quickly, most Americans are reluctant to jump back into eating in restaurants, shopping in malls, attending sporting events, and doing other things that require us to squeeze many people into confined spaces.

Of course, there is a vocal minority of people who feel the opposite. I’m honestly not sure what to think about the groups who have protested in various capitals over the past week or so. I think some of these people are motivated solely by partisan politics, seeking to make noise in order to support the president and to disparage those who oppose him. I think you could throw out any Trump-approved issue, or subject that they viewed his opponents as using to weaken him, and they would show up with their signs and flags and assault weapons, claiming their freedoms are being threatened. The fact they are arguing against preventing the spread of a deadly virus just makes them look dumber than they normally look.

These people are easy to dismiss as nut jobs.

At the same time, I think there are genuine concerns within these groups that go beyond who holds what office. Moments of heavy government action are also moments that require a vocal opposition. This was true in the Vietnam era. It’s true today.

However, that message is undermined when they, or members of their flock, call Covid a hoax, start resorting to blame rather than seeking solutions, and seem more interested in grinding government to a halt than adjusting the government’s efforts to assist more toward their desired path.

People can be afraid of government overreach. They can be concerned about their businesses being destroyed because of shut down orders. They can feel that their voices are not being heard. They can present all of these grievances peacefully.

Showing up in large groups without masks, calling people childish names, while toting guns around and acting like those aren’t a threat of direct violence on elected officials needlessly complicates their arguments, turning them into emotional shouting matches instead of moments for true political discourse.

Restrictions began relaxing a bit here over the weekend. Indianapolis remains locked down for at least another week, as Marion County in the hardest hit in the state. We did allow M to visit a friend for a few hours Saturday. Then we went to our old neighbors’ for a fire pit that evening. Afterward I realized while the parents were being pretty good about social distancing, the kids were acting like kids: sitting near each other, throwing balls around, sharing phones, etc. After six weeks I think all the parents thought that the kids needed a release. I don’t think any of us were interested in being hyper vigilant about their distancing efforts. Sunday, though, I was re-thinking the entire thing.

I guess I’m likely not alone in that, and many of us will be going through those same mental battles for months ahead. We need to get out of the house, to see people, to do things in order to remain sane. But it is tough to know where the lines are and how rigidly we need to be aware of them. If two families haven’t left the house is six weeks, are we all safe? What about when another kid shows up and we have no idea how strictly her family has been locked down?

Along those lines I was part of a text thread last week that included several parents in C’s class, wondering what everyone’s thoughts were about getting kids together once shelter in place was lifted. The thread began on S’s first day back in the office, and since we had not had this discussion yet, I didn’t chime in until the evening. Throughout the day there were no other responses, either. Once I did share our opinion, mentioning that I had waited to talk it over with S, the rest of the group suddenly came alive. I had to laugh at how everyone was waiting to hear what the doctor said before they said anything. Or at least it appeared that way.

C’s class had an assignment a couple weeks back to send a letter to a classmate. She sent one off and received a couple. M quickly jumped on the idea and sent a whole stack of letters out. She sent so many I had to brave the post office to buy more stamps. She’s received a few back in the mail, had a couple dropped off at the front door.

I thought it was a pretty sweet little moment, as kids these days – kids these days! – don’t really use the postal service for communicating with friends very much.

Two weeks ago I went to exchange our backup propane tank for a full one. I went three places and each was out of new tanks. I did some quick searching online and found that there appears to be sporadic propane shortages. As soon as I got home I ordered a Weber charcoal grill.

It arrived last Monday and I’ve used it twice. I don’t think I’ve used a charcoal grill since college. I have some work to do to get my technique locked in. Despite using a chimney starter I don’t feel like I’m getting my coals hot enough. But I’m enjoying the experimentation. And the added flavor that comes with cooking on charcoal rather than gas.

Finally, after I took my shower this morning and came downstairs, L told me someone had been knocking at the door and standing there for several minutes while I was upstairs. I checked our security camera’s history and saw a young guy did come to the door, knock twice and wait before leaving. He had a logo-ed hat on and was holding an iPad, so I assume he was selling something. Exterminator services love to hit our neighborhood for some reason, so that would be my guess.

My first thought was that it was kind of strange to be knocking on stranger’s doors trying to push a product or service in the age of Covid. But what was really strange was that homeboy was not wearing a mask. I get how it would be creepy to walk up to someone’s door unsolicited with your face covered. But how on earth can you expect a stranger to open the door for you with your face uncovered? He didn’t have a mask pulled up over his hat or slung beneath his chin that could have easily been pulled over his face when the door was answered. Nor did he have one in his hand.

If I had been downstairs I most likely would have ignored him anyway. The lack of mask reduced that chance to zero.

Covid Chronicles, 4/22

April 22, 2020 / DB

This is more of a random tidbits post. Nothing real earth-shattering in it. More mundane details of life in April 2020.

I think we’ve reached the point in our house where we are all a little pissy with each other. Last week did not help. Damp, dreary, cool. We were stuck inside all last week due to the chilly, wet weather. My mind kept reaching for something that would get us out of the house: a practice or game, a birthday party, a sleepover, a dinner with friends.

I’ve certainly been a little shorter with the girls the past few days. Their moods seem darker, too.

Fortunately the sun is back out this week. Tuesday was unseasonably cool despite the sun, but Monday was warm and nice. C and L asked me to put our tent up in the backyard and they actually spent a good chunk of the day outside. If we can just keep the temperatures in the 60s and have a few dry hours each day, that will go a long way toward improving everyone’s moods.

I put off calling our pool company a week too long. I finally called yesterday in hopes of opening the pool up in 10–14 days. The best they could do was May 13. Which isn’t terrible, especially given how we are going to have cool nights for awhile and opening the pool now means the heater would be running constantly.

My big accomplishment of the week was doing some work in our bedroom closet. It began with some normal, seasonal movements. Taking most of my cold-weather clothes to the basement, tossing some items I don’t wear anymore into the Goodwill pile, putting the warm-weather clothes in a more convenient spot. Standard April stuff.

I really got nutty, though, and completely changed how I deal with my everyday shorts. For years I’ve been hanging them up. I did this with the idea that this keeps them from getting wrinkled plus you can see each pair rather than having to dig through a pile to find the ones you’re looking for. But I tossed them over a standard hanger, which means they would get kind of bunched up and hang awkwardly. I was not interested in buying a bunch of expense hangers with clips to let them fall off rather than over the hanger.

So I texted a couple college friends and asked how they store their shorts. Neither of them hang theirs. One stacked his on a shelf, the other in a drawer. I did some moving of items around to create space on a closet shelf and now my summer shorts are all stacked in two neat piles.

One of my friends suggested this was the most important issue the three of us had ever texted about. I’m inclined to agree.

Some academic changes. M will have no finals and now finishes classes a week earlier than planned, May 15. St. P’s will adjust their grading scale for Q4 and have a 3–1 scale, three being highest, one being lowest. They will not have GPAs or an honor roll this quarter, and for the year the grades from Q’s 1–3 and four will be separated. What a nightmare to be a school administrator right now, between trying to figure out how to handle e-learning and grading while also making contingencies for how to begin the 2020–21 academic year. I do not envy those folks at all and keep reminding our girls, when they get frustrated, how hard that job is at the moment.

S does telemedicine visits each morning. She had a call last week that made us both laugh. A lot of times her patients get on the phone with their parents, especially older kids that can explain exactly what they’re experiencing. The younger kids just like to get on and talk to Dr. S. After one of those visits with a three-year-old, the kid asked if he could have a sucker like when he visits her office. We thought that was great.

L has taken over the house office for her school work. S does most of her calls and computer work from the living room couch. Me? I spend most of my days in our sunroom. I have all my electronics in here. Several books, magazines, and my Kindle stacked on the coffee table. There’s a deck of Uno cards that L and I have used a few times. My old Strat-o-matic baseball game that I keep meaning to actually open up and play. A couple golf clubs leaning against a chair. It’s pretty random, it is (hopefully) relatively temporary, but still feels pretty comfortable. Especially on the days I can open the windows.

Covid Chronicles, 4/13

April 13, 2020 / DB

Well, it is April 13, Easter is behind us, and after a week-plus of fine-to-perfect weather, suddenly it feels like winter again. Currently the winds are roaring, the sky is filled with thick, angry clouds, and the windchill is a nippy 26 degrees. Ah, life in the Midwest!

These last gasps of winter this time of year always suck. Over the past week the trees have all budded out; flowers and ornamental grasses are emerging; and the yard is that almost painful shade of green that comes after some rain, some warm weather, and its first cutting of the year. Everything visual screams spring. And then you step outside. Oh well, soon enough we’ll be bitching about the heat and humidity.

We had a successful, modified Easter Sunday. While we had no direct plans with extended family, we did get almost all of S’ siblings and parents together on a Zoom call. Later we had our own Easter dinner. We had ham – grocery store rather than Honey Baked but it was fine – shrimp, company potatoes. M made deviled eggs. We had a salad. C and L did most of the work on a fancy cake. It didn’t quite turn out like the Pintrest pics but most of the errors were in the parts that I did, so they get an A for their work.

We also had two birthday drive-bys over the weekend. On Saturday we cruised over to the old neighborhood as M’s buddy was turning 16. We ended up hanging out in the street for 30 minutes or so, chatting with many of our old neighbors while casting eyes at our old house to see how much work the new owners had done. Sunday L had a friend turning 12 and we were part of a large parade outside her house.

I love these. It sucks for kids to not be able to have parties, go out to dinner, etc on their birthdays. But these drive-bys will ensure they are special and memorable.

With so much time to waste, I find myself doing a lot of Ebay browsing. I don’t normally spend a ton of time on Ebay. Every now and then I’ll buy something on it, usually for things adjacent to whatever my hobby of the moment is. It’s been years since I’ve sold anything on the platform. These days I find myself looking at golf clubs a lot. My instructor told me to wait to buy clubs until we have my swing more locked in. Who knows when I’ll get to see him again, let alone get out and play. Yet I keep scrolling through clubs I’m interested in, putting ones I like in my Watch List. I’m also spending a lot of time on 2nd Swing and other used club sites. I haven’t bid on anything on Ebay so far. But I have put several clubs into my basket on 2nd Swing and others to reveal their discounted price. I feel like I don’t have much willpower right now and a purchase is bound to happen.

In the real world, the numbers and news seem to be shifting in a more positive direction, even if slowly. In general this is a good thing. Fewer sick people, fewer people dying, less crowded hospitals, etc.

I worry greatly about this news, though. I worry about all the people, encouraged by a large swath of the media and political world, who are using this as an excuse to ignore the scientists and doctors who have warned us about the scale of this pandemic. I worry that the President is going to ignore how the worst numbers were always a long-term projection, not just about April/May, and use it as an excuse to drop social distancing recommendations. I worry that even people who have taken this seriously, who have followed the guidelines for hunkering down, will combine these numbers with their restlessness, with their financial concerns, with their desire to get back to normal, and also will rush to get back to normal too soon.

Outside New York, Seattle, and a few other hot spots, we Americans have been extraordinarily fortunate so far. As bad as our numbers are, they seem to be focused on those distinct areas. Emergency departments in many areas are not seeing the flood of patients they expected. Numbers are trending the right way. But that doesn’t mean this is over. Flattening the curve was never about ending this quickly. It was about giving our health care system a chance to manage the crisis. Part of flattening the curve meant stretching the pandemic out over the course of this year and into next year, when a natural second wave was likely to hit anyway. If we jump back into normalcy too soon, all those worst-case scenarios will come flooding back into the realm of the possible, just in June or July or August rather than April.

This is a deeply sucky time. Until our government(s) demonstrate the ability to manage it properly, we all need to resist the urge to completely jump back into our pre-Covid routines. We may be able to slowly lift restrictions, a few at a time. But the lives we led in February aren’t completely coming back for a long time.

Covid Chronicles, 3/30

March 30, 2020 / DB

Happy spring break, everyone! So excited to leave dreary, cold Indiana behind for a week in sunny, warm…

Well shit. We weren’t even supposed to go someplace warm, but it is still crappy to remain stuck at home rather than on day two of skiing in Colorado. Who knows, maybe staying home means one of us didn’t break a leg or blow out an ACL on the slopes. Regardless of what is going on here, we are glad the resorts shut down as the Keystone-Vail corridor is apparently a hotspot thanks to at least one person who traveled from Italy to that area in early March.

The past week has been very boring. The stress and excitement of the first week of being stuck at home wore off. The girls got into a routine, but that routine was not ideal. If she didn’t have an early class meeting, M was sleeping until 10 or so before she woke to get started on her assignments for the day. She was generally busy all day, each day. C and L again got most of their work done early in the week and spent the rest of the week on screens large and small. L got outside quite a bit, as the weather was decent most of the week. We played a lot of HORSE and took a few bike rides.

I did have to re-teach myself some fifth grade math – dividing fractions – as L got a little stuck and her online resources weren’t clear in what she was supposed to be doing. I had to break down and call a friend who used to be a math teacher to make sure I was on the right track. Math is my biggest worry for the two younger girls. I hate for them to get behind or I teach them something wrong and it affects how they perform in the future. I imagine teachers all over the country are trying to figure out how to avoid this, and lesson plans next fall will be adjusted to make sure kids aren’t too far behind.

We’ve been pretty hands off with their eLearning, though. We let them know we are available to help, remind them to check in with their teachers if they run into issues, and make sure assignments are being completed. They all seem to be getting everything turned in and getting full credit, so we will continue to let them operate independently when they jump back in next week.

Last Wednesday was an absolutely glorious day. It was in the upper 60s, the skies were clear, the winds were calm. Our street was a constant stream of dog walkers, runners, and bikers. We adjusted our meal plan for the week to throw some burgers on the grill, as it was the perfect grilling day. While we were outside we could smell other people’s grills and hear folks playing music outside. In the evening there were fireworks scattered about. It was an impromptu celebration of the beautiful weather and an opportunity it get outside after just over a week of most of the world staying inside.[1]

In these strange times people are doing strange things. For example, over the weekend the Indy radio station that plays Christmas music between Thanksgiving and Christmas pulled out all those tunes from Friday evening through last night. Even I, the “Christmas Music Must Only Be Played During the Holidays” zealot tuned in for a bit. I felt weird doing it, not because it was out of season, but because I didn’t know how it made me feel. Was this a momentary adjustment to bring some joy to a grim time? Or was it a sign that the end of the world was nigh and we might as well enjoy things we may never get a chance to enjoy again?

It felt especially weird to listen to the station Saturday. We had the windows open to enjoy the near–80 degree weather, there were thunderstorm watches and warnings, and late in the evening we had a torrential downpour that flooded our yard. It didn’t exactly look a lot like Christmas.

I made a grocery run early Sunday. It was designed to be a small, quick trip so I went to the grocery store around the corner. I had been there two weeks earlier and found it was very much picked over. Things seem to have stabilized, though, as I was able to get just about everything on my list plus a number of additions I made on the fly.

It is a sign of the times that you leave a grocery store with an immense feeling of relief if you get 90% of what you needed.

Normally we run our pantry and fridge/freezer pretty tight. I will shop early each week and plan on 3–4 dinner ideas, knowing we’ll squeeze in a leftover night, likely a dinner out, maybe a “cereal for dinner” night, and then figure out a plan for the weekend when Friday rolls around.

Now I keep a very detailed list of how many dinner options we have. Where we are normally good for a few nights, and I often have to run out to grab a few things multiple times during the week, I currently have us set up to get through at least a week, likely closer to two. Our freezer is jam-packed and I’m making plans to have some electrical work done to add a freezer to the basement once this is over. I’m constantly checking the list to assure myself that I don’t need to venture out to a store again for a few days.

It is these little obsessions that give you an anchor in these uncertain times.

Test note ↩

Covid Chronicles, 3/21

March 21, 2020 / DB

Our first week of home schooling/working is in the books. The girls all did about as well as we could have hoped. They’re bored, bummed they are not seeing their friends, and it can be a struggle to get them out of their rooms. But so far, so good, for the most part.

M was scheduled to have her first in-car driving lesson today. We were a little surprised the company didn’t cancel appointments, so we went ahead and cancelled it on our own. They sent a message saying they were taking extra care to sanitize cars between appointments. But that doesn’t guarantee her instructor would not be carrying the coronavirus or that he got everything cleaned from the previous student. I was also worried about the chance that once S begins taking the occasional shift in her office, she could encounter someone who is a carrier and transfer that to us, which M could in turn pass along to her instructor. Like most things, it was just better to keep M at home. We’ll get driver’s ed knocked out at some point.

Yesterday L and I went outside before the weather changed. We threw a football and baseball for a bit in the glorious, warm spring morning. Then, seeing the low part of our yard was flooded from the mid-week rains, she decided she wanted to build a boat and see if it floated. After a couple of attempts she fashioned a pretty sturdy craft out of foil, paper, packing tape, and twigs. She christened it the SS Corona and we spent 20 minutes experimenting with the current and winds to see how well it did.

While we were outside our neighbor came out to say hello. He is pushing 70 and had just moved his 92-year-old mother home to get her away from her assisted living center. With that in mind, we chatted across the narrow side street that separates our homes, never getting within six feet of each other.

Our homes face a main street that is normally very busy. As we spoke a car drove down the main street and just laid on its horn the entire time it passed. We didn’t see anyone in front of them, pulling into their path, etc. Neither of us recognized the car. We looked at each other and shrugged. We weren’t sure if they were just being jerks or if they were honking at us because we were conversing across 8 feet of asphalt.

I made a grocery run Thursday morning. I got most of what I needed, although it took stops at two stores. I was unable to get any ground beef or fresh chicken breasts. Fortunately I had some beef in the freezer and grabbed one of the last packages of frozen chicken. I guess it’s just a matter of when you hit the store in relation to their re-stock times. My first trip down the bread aisle found the racks totally empty. Ten minutes later restocking was in progress and I was able to grab a loaf. I’m debating whether to give Costco a try next week. I’ve heard they are limiting how many customers can be in the building at once and want to go on a dry day so I’m not in line in the rain if I can’t get inside right away.

Two more local pieces of news. Thursday afternoon they announced that all Indiana schools would remain closed through at least May 1. In his announcement the governor admitted it would take a minor miracle for schools to open again this academic year. I think we all know that but I approve of the incremental closings. Better to leave some glimmer of hope. Hey, who would have thought kids would be begging to go back to school?!

Earlier today CYO officially cancelled all spring sports. That bummed C and L out, as they held out hope that kickball and track would still happen, even if under compressed time tables. That also means I am officially done as kickball coordinator. I have promised my successor that I will guide her through the fall season since she did not get a chance to shadow me through the spring season.

Finally, I have chilled on the news a little bit, and feel better for it. I’ve taken more to checking the Washington Post and Guardian’s daily live blogs than read through every story. I’ve found this gives me a good overview of what is happening, direct links to the stories that require closer reading, and are easier to disengage from once I’m caught up. I recommend them both.

Covid Chronicles, 3/17

March 17, 2020 / DB

The strangeness continues.

My last trip to the gym was last Wednesday. Thursday and Friday I was too busy being glued to the TV to run across the street to get a workout in. By Saturday I thought it best to avoid the gym. You can see my gym’s parking lot from our house, and over the past five days I’ve watched the crowds there get smaller each day. I have a friend who is a workout fiend and I still saw her car over there yesterday.

Doesn’t matter anymore, as all gyms have closed down as of this morning. We have a bench, some weights, and a treadmill in the basement, so I can still do some modified workouts. I can’t run much anymore, though, so I fear not having access to the elliptical machines will mean some of the 10 pounds I’ve lost since Christmas will return.

I do most of my podcast listening at the gym, so I’ve fallen behind. It’s been very odd to listen to podcasts that were recorded last Monday and Tuesday, when the market was beginning to crater and everything else was still hypothetical. They are a reminder of how quickly events spiraled and how long a week can feel.

I’ve been listening to the new bulletins on the BBC World Service a lot. I enjoy their more neutral, relaxed approach to the news. The BBC is also good for getting a broader perspective, as they often place developments in Europe ahead of the latest US news.

Last night I was listening to a bulletin and L walked through the room, heard voices coming out of my iPad but saw a black screen, and gave me a strange look. When the news summary ended she asked, “How does that work?” I explained that it was a radio broadcast that I was streaming. “Oh, I thought the news was just on TV.”

My mind was blown.

As I shared yesterday, C had an ortho appointment. We drove up to the office, walked in, she went to the computer to check in and the ladies at the desk asked if they could help us. Which they never do. “Uh oh,” I thought.

I told them C had an appointment and they apologized and said they had cancelled all visits, I should have received a call. I didn’t remember my phone ringing but as we re-booked I checked. Nope, no call, no voice mails.

As we left we tried to pull up the Panera menu to place a carry-out order, but the site refused to load. In fact no website was working and my email wasn’t loading. I powered my phone off, let it sit for a moment, and powered back on. Once it came online up popped a voice mail the ortho office left an hour earlier. Crap.

It looks like all the Colorado resorts shut down for the season today, which should make it easier to get refunds for everything we reserved. In the grand scheme of things, that’s not all that important. But it is one less thing to stress about.

I think the girls are already bored. L knocked out almost all of her assignments for the week today. M is whining about not being able to see her friends. It has been hard not to share every new development with them. We try to be honest and help them to understand what is happening. But I am feeling bad when each day brings some new disappointment to share. Today I’m struggling with how to share the possibility that this may go on much longer than people are currently expecting. Wiping out spring break was disappointing enough. We have a very big trip scheduled for late July, and based on some charts I’m seeing, I’m starting to believe it is in real jeopardy. I don’t even want to mention that to the girls yet, but at some point we may have to share that possibility.

Weekend-ish Notes

March 16, 2020 / DB

My normal Monday posts are summaries of what happened over the weekend, mostly revolving around sports. So what to do when there were no new sports to watch?

I did watch some of (and recorded the entire) replay of the Kansas-Dayton game from last November. That was such a great game and it would have been fun if those teams had met again, either in Atlanta or on the road there, to see how they matched up with four months of growth. KU’s defense wasn’t nearly as good in November as it would be at the end of the season. Devon Dotson was a better player at the end of the season than the beginning, but the Dayton game was perhaps his finest game of the season. I know Dayton kept rolling but didn’t watch any of their games to know how they compared to their November selves. Alas…

No kid sports either, obviously. We were gearing up for spring sports. C and L were supposed to have their first track practices Friday and Sunday. L was supposed to get her soccer roster today. M was supposed to have tennis tryouts tonight. This was to be my final season running the kickball program. With the latest CDC recommendations that everything be shut down for at least eight weeks, I doubt we will have spring sports seasons.

Saturday we had several hours of heavy, wet snow. The ground was warm enough that the roads only got slushy by the ground was covered for several hours. Since it was the middle of March the girls had no interest in playing in it.

We let C have a friend sleep over last night. We figured this might be one of her last chances to do it. With S in healthcare I’m pretty sure we will be exposed at some point, so I’m less worried about someone else bringing Covid into our home than us giving it to a guest down the road.

Life goes on in some ways. C has an ortho appointment this morning. I got the confirmation text Saturday and haven’t received a cancellation call yet, so looks like it will proceed. She is sooo close to getting her braces off that I know she would be bummed if she missed an appointment. That could be her issue: today might be fine but as we get deeper into her final detail work and the eventual removal, those are the appointments that will be in the most jeopardy.

Our tradition is that we get her lunch somewhere after her ortho appointments before she returns to school. We’ve decided to cut out restaurants for the time being, but I’m debating whether it is safe to go ahead and get something today. The logic being, again, so long as it is carry out it will be safer today than two weeks from now. The CDC, etc have not said to avoid getting food outside the home, just to avoid sitting and dining. So I may gamble that it will all be fine.

Covid Chronicles 3/15/20

March 15, 2020 / DB

Saturday M and I were scheduled to work at a local food pantry as part of her service hours commitment. Late last week I kept checking the pantry’s website and saw no changes in the schedule and did not receive a cancellation from the volunteer coordinator, so we got up early and headed down. When we volunteered there in December the streets around the pantry were completely filled with parked cars well before the pantry opened. Saturday the streets were empty.

When we checked in we were told that the pantry was closed, but we would be preparing boxes of food that would be distributed via a drive-through when the pantry reopened on Tuesday. We spent five hours doing exactly that.

Because of the change in schedule and mission, several of the pantry’s employees who don’t normally work in the distribution area were with us. For a long stretch I was between the president of the organization and the volunteer coordinator. They told me how they had to scramble beginning Thursday to completely revamp their mission. All the food pantries in the area had met on Wednesday to discuss how to manage keeping people safe while still getting food to folks who needed it. They agreed that every pantry that was able would move to a drive through method of distribution. This would keep people from congregating in the waiting area – there were often 100 people in the waiting room at any one time the last time we worked – while also avoiding direct contact between volunteers and clients. As most pantries rely heavily on families and students for their weekend volunteers, I think every organization wanted to do all they could to make it clear that those kids would be isolated from the pantry clients lest they lose their workforce.

There were still around 50 people working Saturday, which was great. We did a ton of work, packing dozens of pallets 8’ high with boxes of food. The staff members who joined us on the floor were super impressed at how much we got accomplished. With no idea what to expect, I think they were fearful A) people wouldn’t show up and B) we wouldn’t put them in a good position to begin distributing again on Tuesday. They seemed to be comfortable that with the work we did Saturday, and what could be added Monday, they would be in position to distribute when their doors opened again.

Anytime we go to a food pantry it is deeply humbling. Last December we had more than 500 people go through during our five hour shift. And that was just one of many pantries open in the city that day. To help during a moment of (so far) minor food crisis was even more humbling. We can complain about crowds and empty shelves at grocery stores, but those are minor annoyances. We still have access to fresh food and the ability to purchase it. I can’t imagine counting on food pantries to get through the week and seeing them close down because of the virus scare.

I had some reservations about going. Several times I wondered if we should cancel. My fear was that because of some of the rules that CHS sets up around service hours, if we didn’t go M would be screwed on her freshman year requirements and affect her GPA in the process. When they told us we would not actually be serving people directly, that made me feel better.

But last night I still wondered if it was the correct decision. The experts are coming out more forcefully for shutting down all but essential services and having everyone hole up at home. Are M or I carry Covid–19 and spread it to the people we worked with, some of whom were older and not in great health? Did someone else there carry the virus and pass it to us? Was it dumb to put an academic requirement above other considerations? Might we have been able to get a waiver for those hours given what is going on? Hell, might CHS scrap the requirements for this year should the school shutdown and isolation recommendations stretch deeper into the spring than currently expected?

I’m hopeful we dodged a bullet and didn’t do more harm than good. We had planned on trying to knock out some more service hours during spring break. Now I think there is no way we will be doing that and will either scramble to get her final hours once things return to normal, or count on the school adjusting the hours needed for this year.

Ah, spring break. We officially cancelled our flights Saturday. We decided it was too risky for us all, S’ employer is highly encouraging all docs to stay put, and it’s looking more and more like we will have domestic travel restrictions soon. We are waiting as long as possible to cancel everything else, not in hopes we can salvage the trip but in hopes the vendors we purchased lodging, ski rentals, lift tickets, etc from adjust their policies so we can get full refunds for everything.

Unlike when we first mentioned this as a possibility on Thursday, there were no tears from the girls. They’re figuring out what is going on and how serious everything is. They are definitely still disappointed – we all are – but realize it is for the best. Although when I told them that the NCAA tournament had been cancelled, they all snapped their heads to attention to see if that made me cry. It did on the inside.

Corona Chronicles

March 13, 2020 / DB

And then life got even crazier…

I suppose this is the second in what will be an on-going series sharing my thoughts and observations on the most insane era of my lifetime.

I’ll work a little out of order to get caught up.

First, my girls are all out of school. Cathedral was scheduled to be off today for the St. Patrick’s Day parade.[1] The parade was cancelled so it’s just a day off for high schoolers. They were told at the end of the day yesterday that school was closing and all activities would be cancelled until at least April 14. They will begin an eLearning schedule on Monday and will be expected to be online to “meet” with their classes during normal school hours. M was sad that she won’t get a chance to play tennis, but was sadder for all the seniors who are missing out on their final seasons of spring sports. She said there were a lot of tears from seniors and their coaches as campus shut down.

A few hours later all Marion County public schools were ordered closed beginning today. The archdioceses quickly followed and St. P’s has suspended classes until April 6 at the earliest. I took C and L into school this morning to get all their books, check out C’s iPad, and grad a few assignments from their teachers. They also begin eLearning Monday.

As with everything else that has happened over the past three days, this was not a surprise. But for it to actually happen is absolutely surreal. As we walked through school today parents were all giving each other looks like “Can you believe this is happening?”

Thursdays are a meeting day for S, and she spent literally all of yesterday on the phone, bouncing from one conference call to the next as her health system raced to get policies and contingencies in place. It was a very stressful day for her.

She had been adamant as late as Wednesday that we were still going on spring break. But as the country shuts down that seems less realistic. Her employer is encouraging physicians to cancel plans so they don’t get exposed and put into quarantine in another state/country and not be able to see patients. They can get exposed/quarantined just as easily here but I guess they would prefer it happen closer to home. One of the girls cried when we told them spring break was in jeopardy.

With the girls home and S and I agreeing we should do our best to avoid eating out for awhile, I decided to rush out to the grocery store first thing this morning to make sure we could get through the weekend. I was not the only person with this idea. At 8:30 AM it was the busiest I’ve ever seen my grocery store outside the holiday rushes. The lady who rang me up said the place was a madhouse when they opened at 6:00. The store reflected that: there was almost no lunch meat or cheese, the fresh fruits and vegetables were well picked over. It was strange, though. For every section that was wiped out, there would be another section that had plenty to choose from. We normally drink 1% milk, and it was completely gone. The whole milk was getting scarce. But the skim section was completely full. Good luck finding a frozen pizza.

I saw a lot of people doing what I was doing, securing food for a few days and maybe throwing a little extra in. I grabbed a few extras on proteins that were on sale to freeze. But there were some folks who were panic shopping. One couple had two carts jammed full of food. And I did see one man with a cart that was full of toilet paper, which I found both humorous and sad.

It took me about 15 minutes to get through the line to pay. People were being polite and calm. It could have been a far worse experience.

There’s no evidence that the food supply chain is in any danger. You can never know for sure what is going to happen, but I’m confident while grocery trips may be a little more stressful for awhile, none of us should worry about losing access to food.

Onto sports.

Again, we knew it was coming, but when the NCAA tournament got scrapped I got a little emotional. Some of that was personal and stupid: I felt cheated that this KU team doesn’t get to see what their tournament fortunes held. This was going to be the third, maybe fourth time in my life that KU went into the tournament as the betting favorite.[2] Those teams all came up short. Would this team have been different? I feel worst for Udoka Azubuike, who stayed healthy all season and now doesn’t get to go out on his terms. I’m sad we will likely not see Devon Dotson play for KU again.

But there was also plenty of macro-level sadness. The NCAA tournament, for as often as it floors me, is my favorite event in all of sports. There is nothing like watching basketball all day with that hint of spring in the air. There is nothing like your favorite team making a run over three weeks. And now it’s all gone.

I hoped the NCAA could find a way to simply postpone the tournament and play it later, but I understand why that was an unrealistic hope. Forget all the logistics of gaining access to arenas, blocks of hotel rooms, etc. We don’t know when it will be safe to have large groups traveling across the country again. Even if we knew they could play the tournament in three weeks, how do teams get back in game shape without playing any games?

It’s for the best, even if I hate it. I had this fear that if they continued with empty arenas, important players would start getting sick and that would ruin the tournament, likely forcing a cancellation after games had begun. Or what if they made it to the Final Four and suddenly half of one team was symptomatic and locked down?

Every other sport shutting down is just an extra kick in the nads. I guess we’ll all be streaming a lot of TV for awhile. I made a run to the library today to grab an extra stack of books. Just as I was parking I got an email from the library saying all events it hosted were cancelled. It would not surprise me if most libraries either close or begin limiting their hours soon, thus my trip.

And so begins the strangest chapter in world history of our lives. I think we’ve jumped past 9/11. The entire world is shutting down. All the evidence is that this will pass in weeks, maybe months, and the massive majority of us will emerge unscathed. If it keeps our hospitals open, our healthcare workers functioning, and reduces infections and deaths, it will all be worth it.

I know, right? ↩
1. 2010, and maybe 1986. The 2016 team was the #1 overall seed but that was in a year when there was a big group of good teams at the top. They were just the top team that had lost the least recently to nab the #1 seed.