D's Notebook

Tag: parenting (Page 14 of 73)

A Wild-Ass Day

March 12, 2020 /

Below are some collected thoughts on what is going on with COVID–19. I’m not going to promise they are coherent or all that intelligent. I’m trying to get them into text and online quickly, so I may contradict myself or miss some glaring flaws in logic. My apologies if it goes off the rails anywhere.

Wednesday was the craziest damn day I can remember since, perhaps, September 11, 2001. While the causes and immediate effects of each day were dramatically different, both are ones that will be seared into my memory.

Yesterday it seemed like each refresh of a news page or check of Twitter brought about some new story about COVID–19 that made me say “WOW!” and immediately share it with others.

There was the morning official declaration of a global pandemic by the WHO.

There was the news that the Congressional doctor warned staffers to expect over 100 million Americans to contract the virus.

There was news that the White House was locking down all COVID-related briefings.

That was before lunch.

When I picked up the girls from school M told me CHS had begun preparing students for classes to be postponed without really saying that was a possibility. They were downloading apps that would assist in eLearning, getting kids who need food assistance signed up for food delivery, and otherwise gently nudging kids so they would be ready for a change in school access.

The girls and I had a long conversation on our ride home about what was going on. They had some slightly crazy thoughts, but for the most part were on the right track. We’ve had several discussions about COVID in recent days and I did my best to reiterate what we’ve been saying: we are unlikely to face any life-threatening complications from COVID. However, we are almost certain to come into contact with the virus, if we haven’t already, and could face a range of uncomfortable complications from that contact. If their schools get closed it was more about keeping people like their grandparents and newborn cousins from getting sick than about our health.

In the afternoon and evening came two more huge waves of news.

The Big 12 and other conferences announced they would lock down their basketball tournaments beginning today.

The Ivy League cancelled all spring sports.

Two private high schools on our side of town announced they were closing until mid-April (These are super expensive, non-religious schools, so I’m guessing they have multiple week spring breaks so families can go to Geneva or Nepal or wherever, so this halt likely only knocks out a couple weeks of class).

The NCAA first announced that they were recommending all sports be played without fans in attendance. Moments later its president announced that he was locking out the public from the men’s and women’s basketball tournaments.

That was the first “Oh shit, this is getting real!” moment of the day. But not the last.

Later in the evening I was making a final run through Twitter before I settled into a book when the NBA decided to go crazy. First, the game between the Jazz and Thunder had been abruptly cancelled seconds before it started. Then word that Jazz center Rudy Gobert had tested positive. Finally the biggest bombshell of the day: the NBA was suspending the season. I flipped over to watch the surreal fourth quarter of the Nuggets-Mavericks game, what would be the last NBA game played for awhile.

In the midst of this, the president was speaking and not helping matters much. Nebraska coach Fred Hoiberg was seen to be visibly ill on the bench in his Big 10 tournament game downtown.[1] And Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they had tested positive.

Just before I went to bed at 11:30 Scott Van Pelt and Sean Farnham were speculating on ESPN that we may have seen the last college basketball games of the year. Which, HOLY SHIT!!!

I went to bed but struggled to relax and fall asleep after several hours of getting buzzed by breaking news and frantic texting.

What to make of all this?

Before yesterday I was firmly in the camp of “we should be vigilant but not overreact.” I thought people panic purchasing groceries and cleaning supplies were lunatics, causing more harm than good.

While that is still my general line of thinking, there was one other thing that came out yesterday that adjusted my thinking. This concept of “flattening the curve” resonated with me. The overwhelming majority of Americans either will not get sick, or will not face anything close to life-threatening illness. The biggest issue, though, is if too many people who do get dangerously sick do it at the same time and flood hospitals beyond their capacity. If we all take steps to slow the virus’ spread, we can stretch out the rate at which the sickest people hit the healthcare system, allowing it room to care for them.


Not that I wasn’t being safe, or teaching my girls to be safe, before. But now I’m a little more diligent about it. And shutting down public gatherings makes more sense. A little inconvenience for us all can make this crisis much more manageable while giving those at the most risk a better chance of getting access to care.

In two or three months we might look back and think it was insane to play games in front of empty seats or suspend the NBA season, close down schools, etc. But if that allows the healthcare system to cope with a flood of severely sick people and slows the spread of the virus, it will be worth it.

Several people have asked me “What does S think about all this?” She’s a pretty calm, rational person. She has remained so throughout this. She’s not cancelling our spring break plans – yet – or making any other dramatic changes to our lives. I figure as long as she is chill, I should remain the same.

It was interesting to sit next to her during a conference call this morning and listen in on some of the steps her employer is taking to plan for the inevitable. I should not/can not share specifics, but I will say they are talking through all scenarios and trying to come up with the best plan to keep the most people as possible healthy while treating those who are sick. There were some hard questions asked, and the response was always “We have a plan for that.” Hopefully it is the right plan. I would imagine most major healthcare systems around the country are having the same conversations with similar conclusions.

As if the times we are living in weren’t crazy enough, this drops on us. I remain optimistic that we will get through this. As a society, it will require some difficult decisions and adjustments, hopefully only for the short term. And hopefully things will slow down a little today so we can catch our breath.

  1. Fortunately Fred just has influenza A.  ↩

Weekend Notes

March 2, 2020 /

We made it! The worst two months of the year are in the books!

I think it’s funny that that is still my mentality. This is my 17th winter in Indiana and my internal clock still thinks that spring begins when the calendar turns to March. You would think those 17 years would have beaten that Great Plains state mentality out of me. Spring doesn’t come to Indiana until well into April. Sure, it was sunny and 63 here yesterday. But that was just a tease.

Not that Kansas City doesn’t go back-and-forth for the next two months, too. But those warm days in March always seemed a little warmer and to linger a little longer back there than they do here.

While it is supposed to be in the 50s here until late in the week, I know that you can’t really get excited about spring’s approach in Indianapolis until after the Masters has come and gone.

M had herself a big weekend. CHS did not have classes on Friday, and that is the normal day of the school’s ski trip to Michigan. She had been excited about that all year. Luckily for her one of her friends’ parents decided to take a group of girls up for the entire weekend. So rather than riding in a bus all night Thursday, skiing all day Friday, then busing overnight and arriving back at school sometime around 4:00 AM Saturday, she got to ride up with two classmates and spend the entire weekend skiing.

She seemed to have a great time. She did get hit by someone Friday, but escaped with only a headache. I’m not exactly sure what happened but am glad the collision wasn’t worse. This is the fourth time she skied this season – she is in the CHS ski club that goes to Cincinnati every Friday – and she seems to have developed some skills. She said she went down the second most difficult trails several times over the weekend. I gather that the hill in Michigan – and she was waaaaay up north, almost to the UP – was much bigger than the one they ski on in Cincinnati. All this practice should serve her well when we go to Colorado later this month for spring break.

For those of us who remained in Indy for the weekend it was relatively quiet. C knocked out some service hours on Friday night, volunteering at the St P’s fish fry. Saturday her volleyball team had their final regular season match of the year. They won in two sets to earn their second victory of the season. It was a very tight match, though, as they could just have easily lost in two sets as won. I like games like this that are evenly matched and competitive. The kids are engaged. The crowd is into it. It’s much more fun to watch.

Our basketball goal went up last Thursday, so L had a friend over yesterday to play on it and enjoy the warm day.

My personal excitement of the weekend, beyond college hoops, was climbing into our attic for the first time. About this time last year we had a leak into the ceiling of C and L’s shared bathroom. We’ve had the builders out four times over the past year to do minor exterior repairs but the leak keeps returning in winter time. They finally decided to look in the attic and discovered the exhaust fan from C and L’s bathroom was not connected to its ductwork. Their thought was the warm, wet air was blowing into the attic, and in the winter it condenses and drips down. An electrician came out to connect the ductwork last week, but the leak remained.

Sunday I figured it was my turn to look around. I spent 10–15 minutes examining everything around the fan, looking for dampness without finding any. There was a plumbing exhaust pipe near the fan, and I checked all the joints on it but found no cracks or dampness. I moved the insulation around as much as I could to try to find any wet spots on the subfloor but had no luck.

I was about to give up when my hand brushed something cool and damp a couple feet from the fan. I moved the insulation around and found that the wood support that plumbing exhaust was resting upon was soaked. This had to be it! I snapped some pictures and returned to the hallway triumphant.

Hopefully this is indeed it and a few feet of new PVC will solve the problem. And I’m very glad this popped up while we were still under warranty so the builders keep coming out to work on a fix.

Some Firsts

February 26, 2020 /

We’ve gone through a series of firsts in recent days.

Sunday M and I knocked out two firsts together.

She recently told us that she would like to try playing tennis. As in for her high school, not just for fun or as part of some open rec league. At first S and I were concerned: M took some lessons five or six years ago, but they were very basic, she did not show any particular aptitude for the sport, and other than wacking balls with her sisters in the driveway, she has never actually played tennis.

Looking back on her experience with cross country, we were also worried about the humiliation factor. Sure, you stand out when you are one of the last runners in a race. But you’re also in a huge field with hundreds of people milling about and not really a focus. Whereas on a tennis court, even if you are playing one of 12 concurrent matches, you are kind of out there on your own. We were also concerned because CHS won the girls state title last spring. They have some serious talent.

She did not seem concerned about any of that so we decided to support her taking chances and trying new things. Although we know she is motivated to play because two of her best friends are playing. Neither of them has played before, but they both play other club sports so may pick it up quicker.

We made M go talk to the coach and explain her background and make sure he was open to her playing. Apparently he was thrilled that she was interested. We asked around and he seems to be one of those coaches who loves it when girls who have never played want to give it a shot. And the more I thought about it, and remembered my reporting days when I would cover tennis matches, I imagine most high schools have a big group of freshmen who have never played. Some of them may be athletic and can grasp the game quickly. But most are going to struggle. In that sense, I’m hoping M fits right in.

Anyway, Sunday was a nice day so I took her across the street to the high school to hit some balls. She surprised me a bit. She obviously struggled, but she was able to mix some good hits in. Serving is going to be a challenge, but again I imagine that will be the case for most of the girls she plays. I had her hit against the wall for awhile, we moved to the junior court to get a feel for hitting over a net, then walked over to the main courts so she could get used to its size.

After we hit balls for about 45 minutes, I gave her the car keys and we drove around the school parking lot for about 15 minutes. S has driven with her several times, but this was my first time with her. M was very nervous and tentative. She overthinks things. Her turns and stops are a little rough/abrupt. But she did just fine. I let her drive the two blocks home and we made it safely.

L had gone with us and was, apparently, very hesitant about riding in a car M was driving. S told me that L threatened not to go when she heard M would be doing some driving practice after we finished with tennis.

Monday we got M’s signup notice for her in-car driving lessons. Remembering my driver’s ed experience, I think she will improve much quicker when it is a non-parent who has been trained on how to teach kids to drive helping her rather than a parent.

It’s all kind of scary. I am eager for her to gain the independence that comes with a driver’s license, especially since it will make my mornings and afternoons much easier. But, man, seeing kids drive crazy in the parking lot every day when I’m dropping her off and picking her up can’t help but make me fear what she’s getting into. The experience has also made me evaluate how I drive. I realize so much of what I do is based on instinct and 30 years of experience. You don’t really look at the car approaching you in the opposite lane, but just sense its presence and trust it will not veer into your path. When M drives you can see her minor panic as she shifts her focus from the approaching car to the curb on the opposite side and fights to keep the car centered between the two.

She is learning how to drive in S’s new car, a Mazda CX–3. S’ previous two cars were both Jeep Cherokees, which she loved. But before her last lease expired we looked at what affordable, small SUVs and crossovers were the safest and the Mazda came up. So she is leasing a new CX–3 with the idea that M will get comfortable driving it and once she gets her license we will buy her a used one.

The final first of the week was me getting my CPAP machine on Monday. I’ve slept with it two nights, which has been a chore. The biggest issue is that I’ve started with the full mask, which covers my nose and mouth and keeps me from sleeping on my stomach as I prefer. So far I’ve also struggled to sleep on my side, too, although this morning I’ve been watching videos with tips on how to do that. I’ve always struggled to sleep on my back at night. I can take a nap during the day face-up. But at night I really struggle to relax and stay asleep in that position.

Night one was tough. It took me a long time to fall asleep and then I woke often because of the strange, new sensation of having a mask on my face. Last night was a little better, although I think I had some of the straps on the mask too tight and the bridge of my nose is quite sore today.

From what I’ve read, it can take several weeks for CPAP to begin having positive effects. I’m hopeful it works for me and soon I won’t be walking around like a zombie in the afternoon.

An Eventful Week

January 28, 2020 /

Last week was a little out-of-the ordinary around our house. As I mentioned a couple times, we were on nephew duty all week.

One of my sisters-in-law was matched with another baby boy for adoption and had to go to Florida to pick him up. It was a last-minute deal, so while she hoped to only be down there a couple days, it took over a week to get all the paperwork in order so she could leave the state with her new son.[1]

That meant her first son, who is 3 ½, spent that time with us.

He was/is easy. He’s spent lots of time with us so is comfortable at our house. He LOVES being around our girls. He is potty trained, eats well, sleeps well (with some assistance), and only has a few high maintenance moments each day.

He remained on his normal schedule, so either S or I would drop him off at daycare and then pick him up each day. I enjoy his company but I’m not sure I could have kept him occupied all day, every day in January if he did not have daycare to go to.

The girls were amused by my lack of patience with him. I want to stress again, he’s a really good kid. But, man, I do NOT miss the three-year-old phase when they ask you 18,000 questions, most of which they already know the answers to.

The one that really made the girls laugh was this one, which we did at least once a day. He would ask, in the tone of a kid that genuinely does not know the answer: Uncle D, are you my uncle?

The first time he asked it I said of course I am. After that I would respond in a manner that was not entirely appropriate for a three-year-old.

N: Uncle D, are you my uncle?
Me: What did you just call me? (Blank stare in return.) Uncle D, right? That means I’m your uncle.

N: Uncle D, are you my uncle?
Me: Yes, bud, I’m your uncle. That’s why you called Uncle D, right?

And other variations on this.

Seriously, the girls would lose it every time we had this exchange. It wasn’t that it was annoying. It was that he had already asked me 50 questions while he was sitting at the counter, eating a snack as I made dinner.

He would also ask the girls if they were his cousins, which admittedly is a tougher one since he calls them by name, not Cousin M, C, and L. On nights when he wore me down I wanted to say, “Buddy, we’ve been through this five straight days. You know I’m your uncle and the girls are your cousins, right?”

Kids, man…

The other eye-opener from the week was the difference in how he, as a boy, behaves and how our girls acted at the same ages. He’s a pretty normal kid. But there is sooooo much running around, jumping on things, doing flips, racing up-and-down stairs, etc. The one that killed me was when we would put a movie on in the evening to begin the chill-out process. He would sit stationary for a few minutes. But eventually he would start jumping on the couch, or run around the room, or pick up things and toss them around. Our girls would be active when they watched movies. But it was more making a fort out of the couch cushions, or playing with their dolls while they watched than all this nonsense.

Again, I think I was meant to have girls. Even with all the teenage bullshit we go through every day.

S and I took turns putting him to bed each night. We put him in L’s room – she moved into our bed for the week – and since it was a strange house and strange bed, we would sleep with him all night. One day he didn’t get a nap, so he was wiped the fuck out well before bedtime. I was going to start winding him down early with some books in L’s bed. He jumped up, went head-first into the headboard, and started screaming. There was no blood, so I flipped the lights off, got under the sheets, and hugged him until he stopped crying. Next thing I knew it was 2:00 AM. I rolled over and went back to sleep until my alarm went off at 6:20. It’s been a long time since I’ve slept that long without being sick. It was kind of nice. It also reminded me of those years when I slept with L and would miss all kind of important stuff because I fell asleep with her at 8:00 PM.

But, all-in-all, it was a good week. He was very excited to meet his new brother on Friday night when his mom finally made it home with him. As were we.

The other fun thing that happened last week came on Wednesday. When I picked M up at school, she had a huge smile on her face and said, “Guess what?” I had no idea and said so.

She handed me a slip of paper and said, “I got drug tested today!”

I knew CHS did breathalyzers at school dances, but I didn’t know they randomly tested during the school day. We talked through what she had to do – it was just a urine test – and I asked if she had privacy when she peed in the cup or if they had someone in the room with her. She said she was allowed in a private stall, but asked why she wouldn’t have. So I gave her a lesson on people who buy clean urine to pass drug tests, and how they are often forced to pee in front of someone to prove it is their urine. I didn’t go into men who have fake penises loaded with the clean urine to try to get around that. That was a little too much detail to share with her.

Anyway, she was excited about it. I hope all of our girls are always excited to take a drug test!

  1. She lucked out that the new baby was from Jacksonville, where her parents live.  ↩

Weekend Notes

January 20, 2020 /

It’s probably a good thing today is a holiday and most of my Kansas City friends are probably just now going to bed after celebrating the Chiefs’ AFC title overnight. I say that because I didn’t see much of either game yesterday, so I don’t have a ton to say.

I saw a decent chunk of the first half of the AFC game, although I was distracted during much of it. Still, I saw enough that when I lost control of the TV at halftime I didn’t sweat missing some epic finish.

Whilst I have not conveniently found some latent love for my hometown team, I am happy for all my friends who are long-suffering Chiefs fans. I enjoyed the Royals World Series runs with most of those friends. I’m sure KC is going to be a ton of fun for the next couple weeks.

I was even more distracted during the NFC game, but still saw long stretches of the first half before I again lost control of the TV. I don’t know that there is a defense that can slow down Patrick Mahomes when he’s healthy. But San Francisco could at least make it interesting for awhile. Despite the Chiefs’ first quarter defensive struggles the past two weeks, it’s hard to see the SF offense doing enough to make it a game. The Niners performance the past two weeks has a flukey feel to it, and came against two defenses that aren’t as good as the Chiefs.

In other words, despite having a limited view of yesterday’s games, I don’t see the Super Bowl result being in doubt. Or the score being terribly close.

L was happy that the Chiefs won, although as is her typical nature, she refused to watch any of the game. She’d much rather be playing on the XBox, on her iPad, or outside than watching any sport.

Bigger for her, though, was that we went out yesterday and bought a basketball goal. Today we are having some concrete poured to make two additional parking spaces. This is primarily for teenage drivers and their guests to park without blocking cars that are in the garage. A nice benefit for L is that this gives us space to put a hoop in. I had done my research online so the actual shopping part of our visit to the showroom was pretty brief. After I made the purchase we hung out and played two games of HORSE and she bounced on the trampolines for awhile. We were the only customers, it was a bitterly cold day, so it made for a nice way to waste an hour.

I was disappointed I couldn’t get a trick shot I tried roughly 20 times to work. Standing under a 9-foot goal I shot over a 10-foot rim, over a 9-foot rim, then attempted to bounce the ball off an 8-foot basket into a 7-foot rim.[1] I got this idea because on my first attempt to make on in the 8-foot rim I missed but my ricochet nearly went into the 7-foot basket. Naturally that was the closest I came to making it, but that didn’t stop me from trying another 19 times.

Beyond that it was a pretty quiet weekend. We were on nephew duty so that altered our routines a bit. I’ll talk more about our time with him in a few days.

  1. These hoops were all in a line, roughly 4–5 feet between each rim.  ↩

Weekend Notes

January 6, 2020 /

Before I get to the notes, a quick warning that if you still access this site via thebrannanblog.net address, that site name will be going away at the end of the month. Please update your bookmarks to reflect dsnotebook.me as the correct address.

We are back at it today. Well, kind of. M started at her normal time today, but they are going to their first semester classes for 20 minutes each then will be dismissed for the day at 11:15. Which is kind of weird. They start the second semester with a normal schedule tomorrow.

St. P’s traditionally goes back to school on Tuesday. This year they’ve made today an eLearning day. As of 10:00 AM L has most of her work done. I’m still trying to get C out of bed.

So I guess Christmas break really ends tomorrow.

Some weekend for sports! I was sickish on the couch much of the weekend – the cold I have prevented me from sleeping much either Friday or Saturday nights – so I got to see plenty of football. I don’t have a great NFL memory, but that had to be one of the wackiest weekends in playoff history. Every game was competitive. Every game had a couple crazy-ass plays that set Twitter alight. Two overtime games and the likely end of the Patriots dynasty. Pretty solid work.

I watched most of the second half of the Buffalo-Houston game. When I turned it on, the Bills were up 16–0. As I caught up on Twitter I agreed with the universal thought of “Classic Houston in the playoffs!” But then Classic Buffalo in the playoffs said, “Not so fast!” The last 2:00 or so of regulation were some of the worst yet most entertaining football I’ve ever seen. I was so glad I was not a fan of either team because that was heart-attack inducing stuff. DeShaun Watson’s scramble and completion in overtime will be the signature play of these playoffs…until Lamar Jackson or Patrick Mahomes top it when they get a chance this weekend.

I knew New England really wasn’t very good, but I still gave Tennessee no chance to win. A mediocre team from the AFC South going to Foxborough in January? No way. Good AFC South teams routinely get annihilated by the Patriots in the playoffs. But Derrick Henry was a freaking beast, the Pats offense was painfully pedestrian, and a shocking upset was the result. I don’t know what was more satisfying: Bill Belichick getting pissed when Mike Vrabel used a quirk in the rules – that Belichick himself used earlier this year – to burn a bunch of clock in the fourth quarter, or Tom Brady throwing a pick-six to seal the game. That they both happened is a gift to any fan whose team has been abused by the Patriots over the years.

I laughed at all the Boston media types who got all defensive about the Pats dynasty after the game. Listen, the Pats are, arguably, the greatest dynasty in sports history. They’ve done it in a league that sucks teams toward parity and away from continued dominance. They’ve managed to keep their franchise QB healthy for all but one year of his career. They’ve been coached by arguably the greatest coach in the sport’s history. And all that means non-Pats fans are going to delight in the apparent end of their run of excellence. That’s what sports are about: rooting for and against teams. Celebrate what the last 20 years have been like, but don’t get huffy when the rest of us celebrate its end.

I figured the Vikings-Saints game would be a rout. Had I done Super Bowl picks, I would have picked New Orleans to come out of the NFC. I thought they were the most complete team on both sides of the ball in the conference. Plus the Vikings were just too flawed to go to the Super Dome and pull off the upset.

Once again I prove that I know nothing about football. Just a delightful fourth quarter and overtime for us neutrals. With no dog in the fight I could both argue the non-call on the game-winning touchdown was a terrible miss and delight that New Orleans was again getting absolutely screwed by the refs at home.

With the Saints out of the way, the Seahawks became my NFC pick. I mentioned this to a buddy and he said, “Now watch the Eagles beat them.” I didn’t think the Eagles had a chance, home field or not, and when they lost Carson Wentz – who of course got hurt! – I was confident in my pick. This DK Metcalf kid is amazing! I don’t play fantasy and I don’t know that I had seen more than a few minutes of a Seattle game all year, so he was a revelation. It was very sobering, however, to learn that his dad, who had a long NFL career, is seven years younger than me. I mean, holy shit!

With the Wild Card games out of the way, I’ll lock in these picks for the next two weekends:

Kansas City over Houston
Baltimore over Tennessee

Seattle over Green Bay
San Francisco over Minnesota

Kansas City over Baltimore
Seattle over San Francisco

That’s right, Chiefs fans, for the first time in my life I’ve picked the Chiefs to go to the Super Bowl. Consider them jinxed.

I missed the first half of the Bills-Texans game watching the KU-West Virginia game. No one expected much from WVU this year, and even after they got off to a great start no one was sure if they were legit. That changed when the beat up on Ohio State a week ago.

Still, you figure a young Mountaineers team coming into Allen Fieldhouse for their conference opener would not be much of a contest. Naturally WVU totally controlled the first half, leading by 10 much of the half until a late KU run cut it to six. Oscar Tshibwe was un-guardable and the WVU defense totally took KU out of its game. I’ll admit I was nervous, even knowing the history of this series.

Fortunately Bill Self is pretty good at the halftime shit, he made some lineup and strategic tweaks, and KU got the win. Not quite as dramatic as the classic KU-WVU games but a decent start to the Big 12 season.

I watched several hours of the Sentry Tournament of Champions Sunday night. Even with relatively warm temps here in Indiana, it is always fun to watch prime time golf from Hawaii in January. We’ve been kicking around the idea of visiting the islands so I was paying extra attention to all the shots of the blue surf neighboring the green Kapalua Plantation course. I was hoping Gary Woodland would claw back into things but he never got it going yesterday. That left me rooting against the biggest villain in golf right now, Patrick Reed.

If you don’t follow golf – most of you fall into this category – Reed has a long history of, well, issues. He’s a complex character. In December he was caught improving his lie in a bunker, an act most people call cheating. He claimed the camera angle was bad and he had not, in fact, brushed a large quantity of sand back on two practice swings. He taunted Australian fans at the President’s Cup. Then his caddy attacked a fan during the event. Since it is golf, though, he has not been punished for his actions. In fact, the PGA Tour and its media sycophants have gone out of their way to brush all this aside and only discuss these acts in terms of how unfortunate it is that Reed has “had to go through all of this.” In the “Woke Golf” circles I follow, Reed has become public enemy #1. So it’s kind of cool that he’s a legitimately fantastic golfer, because he makes otherwise boring tournaments interesting and entertaining.

Anyway, I was pulling big time for either Justin Thomas or Xander Schauffele to hold off Reed. Thomas seemed to be in control, leading by two, until he bogeyed 16 and then dumped his approach into the penalty area on 18. Schauffele had two putts to win the tournament…and three-putted. That left a three-way playoff between Reed, Schauffele, and Thomas. The playoff started at 10:00 eastern and I was pretty well cooked after two sleepless nights, so I went to bed. That was a good call as the playoff lasted three holes before Thomas got the win. As long as Reed didn’t win, I was good with the result.

The New Year

January 2, 2020 /

Happy New Year, everyone!

We had our annual boring New Year’s Eve, with a twist. Although we stayed in, M had five friends over for the evening. As we were banishing them to the basement for the evening, S and I cleared out our liquor cabinet and beer fridge down there. It’s the first time we’ve ever done something like that. Although we were reasonably sure the items contained in each would not have been disturbed by M and her friends, we wanted to prevent anyone making a bad choice. We didn’t say a word to M about it, other than pointing out that we had stocked the fridge with soft drinks for her and her friends to enjoy.

I heard from two other friends who had to make similar adjustments within their homes as their kids hosted people for New Year’s. Parenthood is fun.

C went to a friend’s house for the night. Which left L stuck with us and M’s crew. She didn’t really mind. We played some Madden. At one point in the evening she was watching videos on her iPad, S was watching a TV show on her laptop, and I was watching a movie on my iPad. We were the perfect representation of the modern, connected family I guess. It made me chuckle.

Normally New Year’s Day is when we take all the Christmas decorations down. A couple of the girls whined about the short holiday season and asked if we could keep everything up. We decided to put off taking the indoor decorations down until the weekend but we did take advantage of the fairly warm day to get all the outside lights taken down and stored away.

I watched a fair amount of football yesterday. The Rose Bowl was sure entertaining.

The only bummer of the New Year is that M and I are fighting colds. She’s coughing like a 60-year smoker. The cold is all in my head and I feel like my ears are stuffed with cotton. I’ve taken long naps each of the past three days, which sounds fun, but they’ve been the kind of naps where you wake up feeling worse than you did when you fell asleep. Better this week than last, I guess.

I hope all you of you had happy and safe New Year’s celebrations as well.

Christmas Notes

December 30, 2019 /

As my post yesterday said, we have closed out the family portion of our Christmas break. Here’s what we were up to over the last week.

Like every year, Christmas Eve was a day of manic getting ready. There was prepping as much food as possible for the brunch we were hosting the next day. That included detailed evaluations of what foods/beverages could spend a night in a cooler and what items needed to stay in the steady cool of the fridge. This is a low-key super stressful act, as one wrong decision could wreck your meal or, worse, turn a delightful holiday gathering into one remembered for when Uncle D gave everyone a stomach bug.

We attended 4:00 Mass, which meant we had to depart our house at about 3:00 to make sure we got seats and weren’t banished to standing in the entryway. Which meant the girls started getting ready shortly after lunch. We actually got terrific seats but my complaint was that we sat with our backs to the entryway. I like being able to see people come in, nod to friends, maybe stroll over and share a Christmas greeting with some of them.

From there it was on to our first big family gathering, the annual Christmas Eve dinner at my sister-in-law’s house in our old neighborhood. If I’m counting correctly there were 26 people in attendance. Always great food and company. But, man, these things wear me out. Back in the day we would get home, put the kids to bed, and I’d crack open another beer or three while doing those final toy assemblies for under the tree as I watched A Christmas Story and chatted with whoever was staying at our home that year. These days, though, I’m so stuffed I just sit on the couch without a drink, waiting for the bloating to go down so I can sleep comfortably.

Christmas morning! We actually had to wake two girls up this year; L was the only one who was wide awake at the appointed hour. They hustled downstairs and quickly dispatched their gifts. M got an essential oil misting thing, some LED lights for her room, and her ears re-pierced. C got Air Force 1’s, a new sweatshirt, and the second piercings in her ears.[1] L got two Xbox games, some art supplies, and Cookie Monster pajama pants. We still don’t understand why she asked for those but, whatever, they made her happy. The girls had a hard time coming up with lists so this was a year I was thankful we have always stuck to the three gifts rule.

We will be adding some concrete to our driveway soon, which will create more parking space for teenagers. After that is poured, we will put in a basketball hoop, which is mostly for L but her sisters and their friends will mess around with, too.

After gifts it was time to get the oven stuffed for brunch. I made four casseroles, we had ham, and other assorted Christmas fare. This meal was attended by 19 (I think).

Christmas evening our Denver relatives arrived. They dropped by for a quick dinner and hangout session.

Thursday was another big family gathering. Everyone met at our house, jumped on a chartered bus, and headed out to Speedway. The backroom of a restaurant was reserved for a dinner that celebrated both the 10th birthday of our nephew from Denver (that day) and the upcoming 80th birthday of my father-in-law. We had 30-ish people at this event. Part of the proceedings were to take a full-family picture as well as one of 12 of the 14 grandkids who were able to attend.[2] Following that, we hopped back on the bus and went to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway to drive through their Christmas light display, which was pretty spectacular. The Denver cousins spent the night with our girls after.

Friday was a laid-back day. C had volleyball practice. M went to a movie with a friend. C, L, and I played Settlers of Catan for the first time.

Saturday was our annual Christmas dessert gathering at our house. Usually this is Christmas afternoon but we moved it so everyone could attend. We were again pushing 30 people. Fortunately while it was dreary, the temperature was pushing 60 and we were able to sit on the back porch without needing the fireplace going. The Denver family departed from the party to the airport. Our Boston family spent the night with us before hitting the road back to home early Sunday morning. And the in-laws flew back to Florida Sunday afternoon.

Whew! It was such a whirlwind. But it was great to have everyone home and together for a few days. It was hard to catch up with everyone – you would angle to talk to someone, get interrupted, and then never get another chance. That is the downside of these large gatherings.

It is certainly stressful to host. I was always more relaxed on the nights when I wasn’t in charge of the proceedings. And there was really only one event when I kind of checked out, and that was more because I was feeling a little under the weather than because of the stress or company. Our girls were mostly well behaved. There were a couple teenage moments. But S and I were far more relaxed than her siblings who are chasing little ones around. We do not miss that!

And now I’m here on the evening of December 29. As with every year, those days from Dec 18 or 19 to when all your visitors depart just fly by.

  1. They got their ears pierced earlier in the week so they had them for the gatherings.  ↩
  2. Ages: 20, 18, 15, 13, 11, 10, 8, 4, 3, 3, 3, 2, 9 months, 2 weeks. I think…  ↩

Weekend Notes

December 23, 2019 /

Last week was wild and wacky, which kept me away from my blogging duties. I’ll share some notes to try to get caught up before Christmas.

Family News

I’m very much a creature of habit. I can adjust most of the time. But when things get too out of whack, I do struggle. Last week we had four different schedules for five days of school. That really messed with my head and I was never sure what day it was or where I was supposed to be.

Monday and Tuesday we had one schedule: M on her finals schedule of 8:30-noon and C & L on a two-hour delay because of snow. (More on snow in a bit.) Wednesday C&L were back to normal but M only had one final, so I picked her up just after 10:00. Thursday M had her last two finals while C&L were on a regular schedule. And Friday M was home while C&L had 1:30 dismissal on their final day before break.

Oh, throw in that I squeezed doctor appointments in on Tuesday and Wednesday and a volleyball practice for C one night, and I felt like I was constantly coming and going.

The in-laws also arrived Wednesday night, which added another layer of complexity to things.

Fortunately everything worked out well. M did fantastic on her finals. I only nearly forgot about one thing on the calendar, remembering at the last minute that M needed to be somewhere on Friday.

Now we are in full Christmas vacation mode. Which means a lot of sitting around and doing nothing. M was complaining to me Sunday evening that she was bored. I reminded her that she’s not four anymore and she can control her social life by calling her friends and seeing if anyone wanted to go do something. I can’t wait until next Christmas when she’ll be driving.

Speaking of that, she wrapped up the online portion of her driver’s ed course Thursday after she completed finals. Depending on BMV hours this week, we’re going to try to go her get permit Thursday or Friday.

As I said, the in-laws arrived Wednesday. My brother-in-law who lives in Boston arrived with his family on Friday night. They are staying with one of his sisters. Saturday afternoon they came over, along with another of the locals and we had a mini-preview of how chaotic the holidays will be. There were four little ones running around with our girls. Well three running around; one is just learning how to sit up so she was pretty stationary.

The final out-of-towners arrive from Denver on Christmas night. That’s right, S’s entire family is in town this year, the first time everyone has been here in three or four years. We’re hosting a couple events, along with serving as the meeting point for an evening out. Saturday we’ll also be having some of S’s aunts and uncles and cousins over, pushing our head count well over 30. We have a big house, but I think it will be jam packed that day. Fortunately it looks like it may be close to 60 the back half of the week, so we may be able to kick on the outdoor fireplace and use the porch area for overflow.

Oh, last week’s snow. We got nearly eight inches from three snows over about 36 hours. Luckily both nights the snow stopped well before rush hour so the roads were at least so-so by the time we had to head out. C and L used the gentle slope of our front yard to make a slide for their sled. Once it got good and icy they could ride for about 50 feet before the up-slope slowed them down. It’s been over 50 the past two days and our lawn is slowly emerging.

One final big thing on the family front over the weekend: S had LASIK surgery Friday afternoon. Her eyes aren’t nearly as bad as mine, but as she approaches 50 she’s noticed both some changes in her prescription and less comfort while wearing her contacts. So she got them fixed (hopefully). I’m jealous, as my weak corneas mean I am not a candidate for the surgery. Otherwise I would have had it years ago. I wish I could still wear contacts but my terrible-ass eyes won’t even allow that anymore.

KU

I tried to write about KU hoops a couple times last week. Each time I prefaced it with the need to get some words out before they lost to Villanova. What a genius I was, seeing that L in advance!

That was such a frustrating game. For the first 10 minutes it felt like KU was much better and should be leading by 10+. There was the sense that if they could just get a couple deep balls to go down, they would pull away. Alas those shots never came, Nova righted the ship and forged an ugly 23-all tie at halftime.

With Marcus Garrett going out late in the first half to injury and the Wildcats getting hot early in the second half, I was ready to turn it off and go do other stuff.

But then KU got tough, clawed back, made some huge plays in the last four minutes, and seemed to have control of the game. Until Devon Dotson had the biggest KU point guard meltdown since Elijah Johnson in the Sweet 16 against Michigan. Going brain dead and getting picked from behind and giving up a layup, missing a huge free throw, and not closing out on the game-winning three. He had a chance to atone by forcing a Nova turnover, but ran terrible offense on KU’s two chances to score.

I was downright angry after the game. Not at Devon. Just at the general stupidity that went into losing the game. And to, once again, Villanova being the tougher, better team when they play KU. Those dudes aren’t flashy, they’re almost never pretty to watch. But they always freaking make plays.

Oh well, a one-point road loss to a ranked team in December that will hopefully highlight some areas the guys need to work on isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Culture & Media

Finally, there were two big nostalgia events for my generation this weekend: the release of The Rise of Skywalker and Eddie Murphy hosting Saturday Night Live. I’ll break those out for another post.

Weekend Notes

December 16, 2019 /

There were some happenings around our house this weekend.

The big event was M’s first true high school dance on Saturday, her winter formal. As you would imagine, this has involved several weeks of preparations both for her attire and who she would attend the dance with. And then the direct prep dominated our Saturday morning and afternoon when she got her nails and hair done.[1] She ended up inviting three friends over to get ready at our house then take pictures and ride to the dance together. That had a touch of drama as girls jumped in and out of that group because they either got dates in the last week or had other things pile up and limit their availability before the dance. But she ended up with a good group. Prep went well, the dance was fun, and she seemed to have a really good time.

That prep on Saturday did mess up one of her sister’s schedules. I never looked at the calendar Saturday morning like I normally do to get a lay of the day ahead. Thus I totally forgot C had her first volleyball practice that afternoon. I went out with S and L to do some Christmas shopping in-between M’s appointments and when I came home fell asleep watching basketball. I woke around 3:00 and C came down and told me we had missed practice. Fortunately this was the first practice, games don’t start until late January, and attendance is pretty spotty until we get through the holidays. I did feel bad, though, and apologized to her coach. Not sure if this is typical treatment of the middle kid or I should have saved this for L.

So this isn’t really weekend news but we did gain a new nephew on Wednesday. He surprised us, coming about a month early. Fortunately both he and mom are doing great, although he’s going to be in the NICU for awhile and we won’t be able to meet him until he’s released.

This was obviously unexpected and I was charged with picking his three-year-old brother up from preschool when my sister-in-law went to the hospital Wednesday. Little R has been around me a lot, but not a ton this fall. And it’s the first time in probably six months that he’s hung out just with me. Thus he had a confused look on his face when I picked him up Wednesday. As soon as I told him we were going to go pick the girls up he got a big smile on his face and jumped into my arms.

Same thing happened Friday when I picked him up from daycare. His cousin had already left and he had a meltdown over that. He was still wiping tears from his eyes when I showed up. When I told him the girls were in the car, here came the smile and he went running toward the door to see them.

I guess the girls are more popular than Uncle D these days.

Aside from those two big things, it was a fairly quiet weekend. We did a little holiday prep, as family begin arriving for Christmas later this week. I’m putting off much of the cleaning and arranging as long as I can.

This is the girls’ final week of school. M has finals today through Thursday. Her classes only run from 8:50-noon all week, with two finals per day excepting Wednesday when she only has one and finishes at 10:15. She’s nervous but seems pretty well prepared for everything.

A little wrench got thrown in our plans when the first big snowstorm of the year hit overnight. We got the call from St. P’s announcing a two-hour delay just before 6:00 AM. Fortunately there wasn’t enough snow to push CHS back more than the hour they were already starting late. We got between 3–4” of snow, which with the size of our driveway was enough for me to bust out the snowblower before S left for work. Good thing I made sure it was running on Saturday! We’re supposed to get 3–5 more inches of snow later today, so I’ll likely be using it again soon.

  1. The nails were one of her Christmas presents.  ↩
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