Maybe I should move the family to remote northwest Australia. It seems like there’s exciting stuff to write about there. This is not necessarily safe for work, although it is from an allegedly legitimate news source.*

<a href=””>No oral sex, says ute crash waitress</a>

”It may have looked bad when police first arrived as my girls were hanging out all over the place. I also had a $5 note wedged between my boobs so they probably just assumed I was a sex worker or something and he’d already paid me.
”But $5 is a bit cheap for a head job

(I sent this to a few friends earlier and one asked if this was Australia’s version of The Onion. I went back and checked and it seems to be a regular news site. But, I highly recommend checking out the story about the guy running over his girlfriend. Ridonkulous.)