Normally when I vote, I head to the polls, wait my turn, and then cast my ballot. This year, though, I’m going to mix things up. I keep hearing about voter intimidation in some states, and it sounds like something I’d like to learn more about. So today I plan on the following forms of intimidation:

  • Standing extremely close to the person in front of me in line. While doing so I will alternate between ignoring their annoyed looks and moving closer each time they attempt to create more space, and glowering at them with my meanest look possible.
  • Heckling other voters as I would do an opponent shooting free throws. Screaming, yelling, jumping up-and-down, waving my arms, etc. Anything to distract them from the task at hand.
  • Stepping in front of people when it’s their turn to vote. Shuffle left, shuffle right, just stay in their way. After a few moments of that I’ll stop, turn to an imaginary camera, laugh, and say, “And that’s the scene here, Chuck. Back to you in the studio.”

I don’t understand why so many people talk about voter intimidation as if it’s a bad thing. It sounds like a lot of fun!