There is a danger in completing your Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving: the kids change their minds. L. made a brand-new Christmas list yesterday. Luckily one thing on it is up in the attic, so she won’t be totally disappointed.

I know many of you saw this last week, but it was absolutely worth making sure no one missed it. Enjoy Deadspin’s Drew Magary ripping apart his seven-year-old daughter’s Christmas list. Long-time friend of the blog Stacey B. said it looked like something I would do. I am both honored with the comparison and upset I didn’t do it first. But my girls aren’t nearly as ridiculous as his daughter is.

“1,000 bucks.” This is Christmas, not an Italian wedding. Uncle Vito isn’t gonna slip you an envelope in between stints at the raw bar. We put thought into our gifts here. You want cash? Clear the spiders out of the attic. I’ll give you three bucks for it. A thousand dollars. Jesus Christ. I’m sorry, but you cannot have this.

My Kid’s Insane Christmas Wish List, Annotated