Whoo, what a busy week. I’m on library duty for all three girls this year, and I decided to stack those assignments in the same week. That makes them easier to remember, but also sucked up a lot of time this week. In addition to that, I have a small work project I’ve been hammering away on. I’ll share more about it later.

So here we are and it’s Friday already. I put this together last night, because I think I’d have to shut down the blog if I didn’t.

After five months of watching baseball nearly every night, I am now, on Thursday night, watching pro football. Seems like as good of a time as any to crank out my patented NFL previews for the coming season.

But before I cart those half-assed guesses out, a few observations from the opening moments of the NBC broadcast.

  • A little odd, at least to me, that the Seahawks used the opening refrain from The Verve’s “Bittersweet Symphony” as they unveiled their Super Bowl banner. Great song.1 Not sure there’s anything bittersweet about winning a Super Bowl. Or maybe they’re saying it’s bittersweet that their six months of celebrating have come to an end. Whoa. That’s kind of brilliant. If that’s what they meant. Otherwise it’s dumb.
  • Now I know Arianna Grande is the flavor of the month. And I know the first Thursday night game of the year is a national showcase, not a local one. I still think it’s a little weird to have a girl from Miami sing the National Anthem in Seattle. By the way, is she like 4’9’’, 80 lbs? She’s like the tiniest thing ever. Well except for her voice, obviously.
  • Wait. Were the guys in that DirectTV commercial with the Cowboys and Giants fans tackling each other supposed to be a gay couple? Didn’t he say they were “like any other couple?” My mind is kind of blown. I have a feeling NBC and DirectTV are going to get letters and a bunch of Fox News blowhards will have a field day with that. “HOW DARE YOU INJECT YOUR LIBERAL, GAY AGENDA ON MY FOOTBALL!”
  • OK, one more whoa. Icky Woods? Man, that dude blew up. “Gonna get some cold cuts!” is a solid line, though. Not quite “Cut! That! Meat!” But still good.
    Now on to the picks.

AFC East: New England

One day this won’t be such an easy pick. But not this year, and likely not for another two or three years.

AFC North: Ummm, Baltimore, I guess

I don’t trust a team in this division. Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, or the Ravens could all win it. Whoever does win, it won’t be pretty.

AFC South: Indianapolis

I saw Peter King picked the Colts to make it to the Super Bowl this year. That seems optimistic. I think Houston hangs with the Colts all year. In fact, I bet they’re in first place for the first half of the season. But the Colts will close the year on a six or seven game winning streak to take the division.

AFC West: Denver

Also pretty easy, as long as Peyton stays healthy.

AFC Wildcards

Houston
Kansas City

NFC East: Philadelphia

This Chip Kelly thing is fun.

NFC North: Chicago

Green Bay is the better team. But they always have a bunch of big injuries. This year will be no different.

NFC South: New Orleans

They play 11 games in domes (or semi-domes in Dallas’ case). They’ll be good for nine or ten wins in those games.

NFC West: Seattle

Hangover? Maybe. But San Francisco is fading a bit, between injuries and age and suspensions.

NFC Wildcards

Green Bay
San Fransisco

Playoffs

AFC

Indianapolis over Kansas City. Like always.
Houston over Baltimore
Denver over Houston
New England over Indianapolis. Like (almost) always.
Denver over New England

NFC

Green Bay over Chicago
New Orleans over San Francisco
Seattle over Green Bay
Philadelphia over New Orleans
Seattle over Philadelphia

Super Bowl

Damn. I really picked a rematch? Well, Denver doesn’t have to be as good on offense this year, because they will be much better on defense. And if they get the #1 seed, nobody is beating them in Denver in the playoffs. Same deal for Seattle. Unless Philly can steal the #1 seed away, no one is going to Seattle and winning in January.
Peyton Manning has played in three Super Bowls. He’s played like garbage in all three. Surely, if he gets one more shot, he finally has a performance for the ages and cements himself as the greatest QB in NFL history, right? Surely, after last year’s beat down, Peyton will find a way to crack the Legion of Boom, right? Surely the improved Denver D will play better than last year’s banged up unit, right?

Denver 31, Seattle 9

Mark it down, take it to Vegas, etc.

  1. One of my 20 favorites of all-time! ↩