Last week was a little out-of-the ordinary around our house. As I mentioned a couple times, we were on nephew duty all week.

One of my sisters-in-law was matched with another baby boy for adoption and had to go to Florida to pick him up. It was a last-minute deal, so while she hoped to only be down there a couple days, it took over a week to get all the paperwork in order so she could leave the state with her new son.[1]

That meant her first son, who is 3 ½, spent that time with us.

He was/is easy. He’s spent lots of time with us so is comfortable at our house. He LOVES being around our girls. He is potty trained, eats well, sleeps well (with some assistance), and only has a few high maintenance moments each day.

He remained on his normal schedule, so either S or I would drop him off at daycare and then pick him up each day. I enjoy his company but I’m not sure I could have kept him occupied all day, every day in January if he did not have daycare to go to.

The girls were amused by my lack of patience with him. I want to stress again, he’s a really good kid. But, man, I do NOT miss the three-year-old phase when they ask you 18,000 questions, most of which they already know the answers to.

The one that really made the girls laugh was this one, which we did at least once a day. He would ask, in the tone of a kid that genuinely does not know the answer: Uncle D, are you my uncle?

The first time he asked it I said of course I am. After that I would respond in a manner that was not entirely appropriate for a three-year-old.

N: Uncle D, are you my uncle?
Me: What did you just call me? (Blank stare in return.) Uncle D, right? That means I’m your uncle.

N: Uncle D, are you my uncle?
Me: Yes, bud, I’m your uncle. That’s why you called Uncle D, right?

And other variations on this.

Seriously, the girls would lose it every time we had this exchange. It wasn’t that it was annoying. It was that he had already asked me 50 questions while he was sitting at the counter, eating a snack as I made dinner.

He would also ask the girls if they were his cousins, which admittedly is a tougher one since he calls them by name, not Cousin M, C, and L. On nights when he wore me down I wanted to say, “Buddy, we’ve been through this five straight days. You know I’m your uncle and the girls are your cousins, right?”

Kids, man…

The other eye-opener from the week was the difference in how he, as a boy, behaves and how our girls acted at the same ages. He’s a pretty normal kid. But there is sooooo much running around, jumping on things, doing flips, racing up-and-down stairs, etc. The one that killed me was when we would put a movie on in the evening to begin the chill-out process. He would sit stationary for a few minutes. But eventually he would start jumping on the couch, or run around the room, or pick up things and toss them around. Our girls would be active when they watched movies. But it was more making a fort out of the couch cushions, or playing with their dolls while they watched than all this nonsense.

Again, I think I was meant to have girls. Even with all the teenage bullshit we go through every day.

S and I took turns putting him to bed each night. We put him in L’s room – she moved into our bed for the week – and since it was a strange house and strange bed, we would sleep with him all night. One day he didn’t get a nap, so he was wiped the fuck out well before bedtime. I was going to start winding him down early with some books in L’s bed. He jumped up, went head-first into the headboard, and started screaming. There was no blood, so I flipped the lights off, got under the sheets, and hugged him until he stopped crying. Next thing I knew it was 2:00 AM. I rolled over and went back to sleep until my alarm went off at 6:20. It’s been a long time since I’ve slept that long without being sick. It was kind of nice. It also reminded me of those years when I slept with L and would miss all kind of important stuff because I fell asleep with her at 8:00 PM.

But, all-in-all, it was a good week. He was very excited to meet his new brother on Friday night when his mom finally made it home with him. As were we.

The other fun thing that happened last week came on Wednesday. When I picked M up at school, she had a huge smile on her face and said, “Guess what?” I had no idea and said so.

She handed me a slip of paper and said, “I got drug tested today!”

I knew CHS did breathalyzers at school dances, but I didn’t know they randomly tested during the school day. We talked through what she had to do – it was just a urine test – and I asked if she had privacy when she peed in the cup or if they had someone in the room with her. She said she was allowed in a private stall, but asked why she wouldn’t have. So I gave her a lesson on people who buy clean urine to pass drug tests, and how they are often forced to pee in front of someone to prove it is their urine. I didn’t go into men who have fake penises loaded with the clean urine to try to get around that. That was a little too much detail to share with her.

Anyway, she was excited about it. I hope all of our girls are always excited to take a drug test!

  1. She lucked out that the new baby was from Jacksonville, where her parents live.  ↩