Return Your Carts
I made a quick trip to Menard’s yesterday morning. I was inside for maybe 10 minutes, and in that time the car I parked nose-to-nose to did not move. However, while I was inside, someone did decided to jam a shopping cart between my vehicle and the one opposite mine. They didn’t do any damage to either car. But I did get super annoyed. The cart corral was about 15 feet away, and some person not only couldn’t be bothered to walk that far on a beautiful spring morning, but they also decided to put their cart where it was…
Something Is Missing
Well, here we are in the middle of January, and once again the Kansas Jayhawks are putting together an excellent season of college basketball play. Some things just never seem to change. Except something is different this year. No, not Bill Self’s four-guard offense he’s had to install due to a lack of quality big men. No, not that (Bitch I’m) Frank Mason III is averaging over 20 points a game, putting him on track to be only the second player of the Self era to do so. Nope, what’s different is a rock of the program that had been…
Holiday Catalog Insanity
Over the past year or so, Drew Magary has become one of my favorite writers. Whether in his novels and collections of anecdotes about being a parent, his writings for GQ and Deadspin, or just on Twitter, he never fails to amuse me. I might have first discovered him through his holiday-themed posts on Deadspin. You might recall when he shared his daughter’s ridiculous Christmas list and broke it all down for us. Another of his evergreen holiday assignments is tearing apart the preposterous Williams Sonoma catalog. As always, this year’s edition is a delightful read. The 2016 Hater’s Guide…
Proof There’s Still Hope For Humanity
Classic album covers with Star Wars characters? Hell yeah! Star Wars Album Covers
Morning Laughs
Deserving of a post independent of other links, here is the annual Super Bowl edition of Breaking Madden. As always, it is awesome. Especially the closing video. I OPEN UP MY WALLET AND IT’S FULL OF BLOOD
“Drama’s A Cinch.”
Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus give us 6:00 minutes of pure fun.
Holiday Jihad #2
Before some kid notes, another holiday jihad for you. Years ago I sent a Christmas card to the parents of a college buddy. I found out later I had misspelled his mother’s name – I thought her name was Lara but it was actually Lura – and I was horrified. I quickly apologized and she shook it off, saying I wasn’t the first to make the mistake. There’s a simple act of respect that goes into getting someone’s name right. It shows you value your relationship with them. That’s why I get all fired up when someone misspells a name…
Fun With Lists
There is a danger in completing your Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving: the kids change their minds. L. made a brand-new Christmas list yesterday. Luckily one thing on it is up in the attic, so she won’t be totally disappointed. I know many of you saw this last week, but it was absolutely worth making sure no one missed it. Enjoy Deadspin’s Drew Magary ripping apart his seven-year-old daughter’s Christmas list. Long-time friend of the blog Stacey B. said it looked like something I would do. I am both honored with the comparison and upset I didn’t do it first. But my…
Stirring The Pot
I love it when the Onion says things that are both funny and true. Example: their take on a new (fictitious) ESPN show. “We’re looking for three, maybe four absolutely reprehensible, know-it-all fucks to sit around a table and share their idiotic opinions about the day’s biggest sports stories,” said ESPN’s vice president of original programming Jamie Horowitz, adding that ideally, the obnoxious, pig-headed pieces of shit will be a mix of annoying national sports columnists, repulsive former athletes, and one prick from Boston. Yep, sounds about right. ESPN Searching For A Few Loud-Mouthed Fucks For New Afternoon Program
Obstructing Democracy
Normally when I vote, I head to the polls, wait my turn, and then cast my ballot. This year, though, I’m going to mix things up. I keep hearing about voter intimidation in some states, and it sounds like something I’d like to learn more about. So today I plan on the following forms of intimidation: Standing extremely close to the person in front of me in line. While doing so I will alternate between ignoring their annoyed looks and moving closer each time they attempt to create more space, and glowering at them with my meanest look possible. Heckling…