Day: October 15, 2003

I Vote No

Sixteen Candles 16 years later? No thanks, especially if you make it for TV rather than the big screens and lose the PG-13/R rating option. Let’s count the ways this is bad:
No politically incorrect references to Orientals, a Chinaman named after a duck’s dork, retarded kids wearing red sweaters and tan trousers, alien breasts, public urination, shots of women nude in the shower, or oily-type beau-hunks. I bet you can’t even put Joan Cusack it the halo and make her try to use the drinking fountain these days. I doubt you’ll see Samantha get felt up by her grandmother, either.
On top of all that, you ruin the ending of the original movie. I don’t need to hear how Jake and Sam both suffered third degree burns when they kissed over her birthday cake and their shirts ignited. Or how Farmer Ted became an serial date-rapist based on his success that one weekend his freshman year.
This all sounds more like a bad SNL skit than a legitimate movie project.

Beyond Bizarre

Utterly incredible. That’s the only way to sum up what happened at Wrigley Field in the eighth inning last night. If you missed it, the Cubs were up 3-0, five outs from their first World Series since 1945, and ace Mark Prior was destroying the Marlins. A pop-up down the left field line is grabbed by a Cubs fan just before Moises Alou could catch it, Alex Gonzalez commits his first error in months, and next thing you know, the Fish have scored eight runs in the inning. How very Cubs!

Given our proximity to Chi-town, there is an especially high number of Cubs bandwagoners here. So it’s even more satisfying to watch them flame out than normal. It’s hard for me to imagine the Cubs coming back from this tonight, but Kerry Wood is on the mound.

In the ALCS, to fit the plan, John Burkett will find a way to beat Andy Pettite this afternoon so that Pedro Martinez can blow game seven. It’s just the way the Red Sox operate.

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