If you’ve never had a child, you probably don’t know that when you’re staying in the hospital, they give you a chart to track your child’s feeding schedule and diaper changes. It’s all so they can be sure the kid is getting food and processing it. Being the anal geeks we are, S. and I have continued to faithfully update the spreadsheet we built to track this information. I’ve got a nice little Excel sheet that lists date, time, a large field to either put amount of time feeding or amount of bottle consumed, which “side” we start on if S.’s doing the feeding, and then boxes for wet and dirty diapers. At each feed, we start the stopwatch on my running watch to track the exact time. No guessing in this house. We’ll be damned if we’re going to be the parents who have to rely on memory when our pediatrician asks us how often M. is taking a dump!
I tell you this because M. had a productive evening Wednesday night. Not only did we have four dirty diapers in three hours, but we had two in five minutes! Homegirl has some active bowels! I must admit, as long as the diaper is secured to her body, I find the whole thing pretty funny. I was on the couch trying to stay awake watching baseball scores when I heard her rip off a good one over in her pack n play. I had to stifle a laugh since S. was sleeping next to me. I walked over and heard M. continue to go to town. I waited for her to calm down, then got to work changing her. I had just got her cleaned up when she released another gift, in gaseous form only thankfully. I slammed the new diaper on as quickly as I could. Sure enough, five minutes later, we’re changing her again.
I’m sure many of you out there are thinking, “Great, now I have to put up with weekly diaper posts.” I just share because the whole thing fascinates me. Not really sure why, it’s just pretty amazing how M. can be in a deep sleep, you walk over the check on her, and suddenly her head turns bright red, she starts smiling, and 30 seconds later you get a whiff. Cracks me up. And since I’m typing this up at 12:14 AM, I’m probably a little slap happy, so cut me some slack.

Tonight was not a record, for what it’s worth. We had a three-diapers-in-fifteen-minutes event last week.

Unlike Ferris Bueller, life is moving pretty slow right now. These are the things I have to share with you.