It was an incredibly long week, but also an incredibly fast week.
Thanks to all of those in Kansas City who helped me out in some way over the past week. Whether you offered me lodging, legal advice, companionship at lunch, a beer and room on your couch to watch the Royals, or just moral support, it was much appreciated.
There were parts of the week that were very good. I saw several relatives I had not seen in a long time. It was good to catch up with some, and really just begin to get to know some others. Our memorial activities were small, but still fine ways to remember my dad.
Others weren’t so great, though. My dad was always a bit of a mystery to me. That’s not a huge surprise given that most of the last 30 years we saw each other occasionally at best, and not at all for nearly a decade. I never harbored ill will toward him. We just went different directions for a variety of reasons. This week I learned things about him that elicited sadness, anger, and left me dumbfounded. It’s unsettling to discover that a person who provided half of your DNA had a profoundly unhappy and difficult life.
I’m not big on regret, and I would not change most of the aspects of my relationship with my dad that were in my control. I do wish, though, that he had found more joy, success, and comfort in his life.