Warning: you might want to put some space between you and whatever screen you’re reading these on. For they are extremely hot sports takes![1]

I must be getting old. I actually kind of enjoyed the Chicago Cubs clinching their NLDS against St. Louis yesterday. In fact, I found it pretty damn cool.

I say that’s a sign of age because I’ve long hated the Cubs. I didn’t hate them for their “Lovable Loser” fans, or because there are tons of Cubs fans around Indy, or even because they broke my heart when I was little. Nope, I always hated the Cubs because, when I first began watching baseball in the late 1970s, the only daily options to watch baseball were on WTBS and WGN, which showed the Braves and Cubs respectively. And both teams were terrible. So I hated them both out of spite, for not providing a team I could watch and enjoy on a daily basis.

Watching the two games in Wrigley this week was pretty amazing, though. That joint was absolutely on fire. The park may be small, but those 41,000[2] or so fans made quite a racket on each Cubs home run. And the ninth inning last night was pretty great.

It helps that the Cubs have a ton of young, fantastic talent that rose to the occasion. And I like Joe Madden. They’re fun to watch.

We’ll see how far they can keep this thing rolling.

I TOLD YOU ANDREW LUCK WAS GETTING HURT THIS YEAR!!! Now there is some question about when exactly he was injured. Was it on one of the 87 hits he took through the first three weeks of the season? Or was it when he was on his own, diving for a first down? Or when he threw his body at a defender who had picked him off and was returning the ball? The Colts won’t say.

In fact, the Colts aren’t saying much of anything. Their front office and coaching staff are apparently at war with each other, so they’ve suddenly turned into Bill Snyder acolytes and are providing almost no meaningful information to the media. So beyond when/how he was injured, they’ve also not shared exactly what the injury is, how serious it is, or how long it should take to heal.

The whole front office thing is ugly. And unusual. While owner Jim Irsay has been a piece of work over the years, the Colts have generally been a pretty steady, drama-free organization. But coach Chuck Pagano is pissed they won’t give him a long contract extension, and has apparently been upset with many of their free agent and draft choices in recent years. You never know exactly what the truth is in these situations, but the general opinion holds that he is upset the Colts haven’t done more to shore up the offensive line and defense, protecting their franchise player on both sides of the ball. Meanwhile, GM Ryan Grigson is basically saying Pagano has the talent to win, and if he can’t get past the Patriots this year, it’s the coach’s fault, not the front office’s.

There are already rumors the Colts will go after Sean Payton when the season ends. Which seems premature, given that Payton is still under contract in New Orleans.

This feels like something that is going to get very ugly before it ends. The Colts being in the absolutely terrible AFC South, and sitting at 3–2 despite playing with 150-year-old quarterback Matt Hasselbeck the past two games, is keeping it on the back burner for now. But I think it’s going to blow before too long. Especially when you look at the Colts’ schedule for the next month.

As a rule, I generally avoid any of the ESPN shows where talking heads sit around and argue. Since even Sportscenter is filled with that crap now, that means I rarely watch any non-game programming on ESPN. But last week, while I was getting my hair cut, I was forced to sit through 20-odd minutes of First Take, the blight on humanity that features Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless. I just happened to be watching the morning after the referees messed up the end of the Detroit-Seattle game. THEY YELLED ABOUT THAT ONE PLAY FOR 20 MINUTES STRAIGHT! All the ladies working that morning were complaining about Smith and Bayless. I’m really not sure why they didn’t have it on Sportscenter, or some other random sports channel like they often do.

TRUMP OR HILLARY: PLEASE FIX THIS! Send these jokers to fight ISIS.

I continue to have no idea how to explain college football. Is Ohio State just so much better than everyone else, that they can cruise through games, make a few plays late, and keep rolling into January? Or are these close games against mediocre teams a sign that they’re going to fall apart at some point?

How long can TCU keep giving up 40+ and relying on miracle plays late to get wins?

Can Baylor survive the epic shootout coming with TCU and not slip up against another Big 12 team along the way?

Do you trust Utah, Clemson, or Michigan State?

Here’s what I do know: Alabama is going to win the whole freaking thing again. They’ll beat LSU, crush whoever comes out of the SEC East, shut down whichever Big 12 they play in the national semifinal, and then roll over Utah, who will upset Ohio State in the other semifinal.

Saban, like always, is a witch.

  1. And by hot I actually mean rather tepid.  ↩
  2. It amazes me that Wrigley holds that many people.  ↩