FOY Follow-up
We watched a little of the Best of Will Farrell Saturday night and caught the Dissing Your Dog promo. While not quite as extreme, my mocking of M. seemed a little like Dale Sturtevant’s methods. I must admit, the last part, “You’re a f&(^ing dog!”, is something I’ve often thought of when we’ve moved both of our girls to solids and…
FOY
I think I clinched the Father of the Year award last night. I’ve begun mocking my three-year-old. Like most kids her age, M. has developed a potty mouth. She’s not dropping f-bombs or anything, but she does walk around talking about pee and poop all the time, and then acts like it’s super funny. Again, I blame the heathens in…
Adjustable
We went to the mall yesterday, and I noticed a display in the Victoria’s Secret window for a bra with “adjustable cleavage.” My first question, of course, was can I get a demonstration from an official VS spokesmodel? Since I was with my wife and two daughters, obviously I couldn’t ask out loud for that kind of thing. But it…
White Trash T-Shirts
I’m never disappointed by the people I see when I’m out and about. There’s always someone acting like a jackass or dressed inappropriately to entertain me. It’s one of the true joys of living in the Midwest. Example: I was at Target Sunday and saw a guy walking around with a shirt that said “<a href=”http://64.77.21.137/cat.asp?flt=320&ltr=A&nav=11&prd=14540″>Jerkmeoff</a>.” I think it’s supposed…
Fun With Yearbooks
I brought back several boxes of books and other old items from Kansas City two weeks ago and have slowly been working my way through them. Two absolute gems of finds were my sixth and eighth grade yearbooks (I don’t know if seventh grade is just located elsewhere or if it was destroyed thanks to an especially unfortunate picture of…
Like Sands Through The Hourglass, These Are The Emails Of Our Lives
Friday is my final day of gainful employment. After that, I’ll be a deadbeat dad doing my best to drag the economy down. I think my lack of purchases at the Apple store alone will bring the economy to a screeching halt. This evening, I worked through a ton of my old e-mails on my work account. Unfortunately, due to…
Definitions
We ate lunch Saturday with a couple sisters-in-law and sat on the deck of a local pizza place. The subject of metrosexuals came up and we discovered my wife had never heard that term before. She asked me what a metrosexual is, and I pondered for a few minutes. I thoughtfully fingered the fine weave on my new Banana Republic…
Fab Five
I love to write. That’s the whole point of having the blog. However, the down side is the pressure to write on certain subjects. For example, someone who I’ll refer to as “Feldman” has all but demanded that I compare the Fab Five of Michigan to the Fab Five of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. “Feldman” really knows how…
Big Pig
Warning: some slightly graphic, suggestive language below. All meant in fun, of course. The final wedding of Summer Matrimony Fest 2003 is finally out of the way. Another grand occasion highlighted by impressing the locals with consuming large quantities of fine scotch (Glen Fiddich, 18 year old model). However, I did have to miss the Indiana State Fair to attend…