Quien Es Más Macho
Sometimes the most important questions do not get asked. Or at least they’re asked by the wrong people, never get answered, and fade away. Yesterday, as I knocked out dishes and laundry, I listened to the American Top 40 rerun of the week. It was from September 1985. Good times for me, back then. In my first month of high…
My Wisest Choice
File under: Sometimes otherwise smart people do dumb things. I’ve never been in a tanning bed in my (almost) 41 years on earth. Until Monday. Thanks to a meeting of two circumstances1 I decided to take the plunge and get a little unnatural color Monday. I knew going in there were risks. S. will occassionally use the tanning beds at our…
Fun With Nursery Rhymes
My nearly eight years as a stay-at-home parent have been filled with humorous moments that come with being the rare dad who is with his kids all day. Random kids who come up and start telling me about their potty habits. Boys who mistake me for their dad because I’m the only guy around. And, my personal favorite, kids yanking…
I Love Fall
So does McSweeneys. Carving orange pumpkins sounds like a pretty fitting way to ring in the season. You know what else does? Performing an all-gourd reenactment of an episode of Diff’rent Strokes—specifically the one when Arnold and Dudley experience a disturbing brush with sexual molestation. Well, this shit just got real, didn’t it? It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
Shocking Poll Results
The Onion nails it. 1 in 5 Americans Believe Obama is a Cactus ”I don’t care what he says or what his people say or what anybody else says,” 48-year-old Kansas resident Jake Nolan told reporters. “The guy’s a cactus, plain and simple. I mean, Christ, look at him.”
I Trust This Won’t Affect My Grade
I have a longer Required Reading post in the works, but this link deserves its own entry. Professors: Hot at Their Own Risk examines the challenges that attractive academics face. The idea of appealing educators being harassed by their students seems a little gross as I approach 40. When I was in college, though, there was always that hope at the…
Not Sure What To Think
Last Friday M. attended a birthday party1 at one of the many local bounce places.2 After bouncing for awhile, then eating pizza, cake, and ice cream, the host mom handed out tokens for the arcade area to all the kids. While I was helping M. earn some tickets so she could get another cheap, plastic toy to take home, I…
Journalism Is Not Dead
Maybe I should move the family to remote northwest Australia. It seems like there’s exciting stuff to write about there. This is not necessarily safe for work, although it is from an allegedly legitimate news source.* No oral sex, says ute crash waitress ”It may have looked bad when police first arrived as my girls were hanging out all over…
Rumorville
I’m going to act like a typical blogger for a minute and start a rumor based on minimal evidence: I think there’s a culture of acceptance of the use of performance enhancing drugs at ESPN. I’m not talking about glossing over the use of PEDs by athletes. I’m talking about their on-air talent. Two in particular. Hannah Storm and Sage…
Wasting Time
I’d like to preface this post by reminding you all that I’m nearly 37 years old, am married, have 2.5 kids, and have a Master’s degree. Last night, I spent about 45 minutes shooting a water gun at the mother raccoon that lives under our deck each time she peaked her head out to see if the coast was clear…